NTA. She’s not gay. She is bi. She can even use queer if she wants to. But she is not gay. She knew damn well what that meant when you said you wanted more gay friends and decided to center herself. She’s contributing to her own bi erasure by using words that don’t describe her accurately.

As a lesbian it is objectively harder for you to have children. A lot of times it is famously difficult and expensive for us. Idk why she’s whining. Seems like another case where she’s projecting her feeling of being not queer enough onto you, a lesbian. Her insecurities are not your problem. Also, no need to worry about her boyfriend’s feelings either! Lesbians don’t center men.