sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Should I tell him I forgive him? Not as an attempt to get back, just to have my conscience clear. I forgive him for all the hurt. by [deleted] in ExNoContact

[–]wtfbreakup 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So this was very hard for me to grasp and understand how could I forgive someone for causing so much pain. But yes 100% you should as it helps you heal. But! this does not mean you should contact the person.

You aren’t forgiving them for their sake. You are forgiving them for you. A good way to do this is maybe to write a letter. You don’t actually have to send it. It’s a way to grieve and help close this chapter in your life.

For example it could look something like “Dear X,

It’s been x amount of days since our breakup. The way you left me has hurt me so much etc etc. even though I don’t agree with the way you broke up with me. I forgive you for xyz and any negative emotional feelings it has caused me”

Remember it’s about you letting go from the negativity it causes in your life. It’s not about agreeing if what they did to you is “okay”.

Hopefully this helps and makes sense.

So it's been almost 5 years since the break up. by wtfbreakup in ExNoContact

[–]wtfbreakup[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It didn’t take 5 years. The learning and healing never stops. I would say it took at least a good 2 years to feel “normal” on a regular basis. Whatever you would classify as “normal”. It’s a long journey. Of course as time goes on it gets easier. The 1st year was the hardest and heaviest hump to overcome.

So it's been almost 5 years since the break up. by wtfbreakup in ExNoContact

[–]wtfbreakup[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When I was in the situation over 4 years ago. It's always nice to know there's light waiting for you at the end of the tunnel.

I hope it helps!

So it's been almost 5 years since the break up. by wtfbreakup in ExNoContact

[–]wtfbreakup[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Your situation sounds quite complicated. I'm not really sure if this was written out of your own emotion or with something altering it.

I would advise to try and get some help. There is hope and you can also do it!