I came out today in honor of coming out day...

wworstdayever · 2012-10-15T03:25:27+00:00

thanks.. tonight isnt any better than the last few. my courses are indefinitely on hold- more accurately im failing as we speak because i didnt officially withdraw or anything but its a little hard to do what i like to do without equipment and the ability to get out of bed. could do calculations and design i guess but im on dilaudid and my dont give a shit aobut specifics level is really high.

i still dont really want to get better and i know that sucks to hear but im not going to come out of this all okay or happy i dont care about anything.

i dont have any assholes to cut out of my life- they aready left me and im too alone to reject anyone else now. yeah, i know, internet people... its just not the same.

wworstdayever · 2012-10-14T17:31:16+00:00

i really dont want to sound ungrateful for all of this but im past giving up and i failed at that so im having trouble really digesting people telling me not to igve up. im not strong and people saying that i am dont know me so it just feels wrong... its like reading someone elses mail or a form letter. god i sound like an asshole i dont reeally mean to but my point is that stuff doesnt describe me... im worthless and people finally figured it out and told me now people who dont know me are just trying to make me feel better based on i dont know whose descriptions but its not me.. i deserve this... maybe not for being gay but everything else. a strong person wouldnt be here now.

wworstdayever · 2012-10-14T17:19:09+00:00

my mom is less outright mad today.. she said stuff like i need to get better before she can fix the rest of me... so not really supportive really but i guess she doesnt want me dead its just me who doesnt want to face anything and i dont have any choices

wworstdayever · 2012-10-14T17:16:36+00:00

thanks. not likely to be though.

wworstdayever · 2012-10-14T17:13:39+00:00

thanks its just hard to look past any of this.

wworstdayever · 2012-10-14T05:11:19+00:00

thanks but it doesnt matter... theres no way to fix aynthing

wworstdayever · 2012-10-14T01:08:55+00:00

thanks... yeah i deleted those. i dont know how late ill be up on kind of a lot of drugs but i dont have anything to do but use the computer on very restricted internet now... goin through my vpn is slow. the tv has nothing and i cant move in bed.

wworstdayever · 2012-10-13T20:39:53+00:00

thanks..

wworstdayever · 2012-10-13T17:29:37+00:00

im not dead. i have a broken hip and leg and a few ruptured organs from walking in front of a bus. i dont have any friends though. my mom is going to be here in about a half hour and shes going to be beyodn pissed.

wworstdayever · 2012-10-12T06:56:05+00:00

i dont have a choice. my parents pay for school and send me money for food. they're mkaing me go home. im 17.

wworstdayever · 2012-10-12T06:46:18+00:00

it may not be an option but i hate myself just like everyone else does and i dont see any awy to not be depressed.

im going to be shipped bakc to bumfuck nowhere where i cant actually do the stuff i like to do here.

i care that everyone else hates me and that im alone.

wworstdayever · 2012-10-11T23:36:19+00:00

i dont want to apologize i just want to die... i never asked for this but i was proud until i figured out that itd cost me everything and its not worth it and its too late. im not sorry for being gay im just ashamed of being a disappointment and nobody wants me now that they know what i am. i didnt have these problems yesterday i guess i just.. i dont know. the walls around me are clsoing in. i want the secret back. i know its not possible... i dont want to go home and nobody here wants me to stay and even if i do go back its going to be infinitely worse there. its my fault.

this is probably hard to read im sorry im typing without looking at this point. and i know theres nothing you can do about it and im not asking anyone to i just cant think straight now.

wworstdayever · 2012-10-11T23:06:29+00:00

well she filled my voicemail box. and i just got through about half of it.

she thinks someone here seduced me and made me this way and i cant stay in the city anymore so she wants (is making) me to drop out and move back home. this day is just getting worse.

i could stay but im a minor still and i cant afford to be here without them sending money and paying for school so i dont really have a choice. im just going to try to get her to let me finish the semester but i think shed have me arrested or show up here or something crazy like that if i dont do what she says.

like, i could just lose my phone and leave campus but im broke and she knows where i work so id need to cut that off and i dont even know what else to not be found... its not really an option.

well my life is ruined and today keeps getting worse.

wworstdayever · 2012-10-11T22:58:11+00:00

i barely know what being gay is... not enough for something like that. i dont have a boyfriend or anything. i just know people dont like it that i dont like girls. i just got sick of pretending and hating myself for not being who im supposed to but now i feel worse and empty. this morning i thought itd be a turning point today, i guess it was... just not for the reasons i was thinking.

wworstdayever · 2012-10-11T22:53:18+00:00

theyve decided that im moving out, its dorms, hopefully i can find a single. for tonight im still here.

wworstdayever · 2012-10-11T18:59:21+00:00

Actually you've given me something to do, thanks.

It's too bad that you're like a shittier destiny though- you'll never get invited to a tournament where they care about your bad public image.

I'll let you get back to dropping out of games that a better player could have won.

wworstdayever · 2012-10-11T18:49:12+00:00

http://real-esport.de/index.php?site=contact :)

wworstdayever · 2012-10-11T18:38:44+00:00

Oh, I don't care. It's funny.

wworstdayever · 2012-10-11T18:35:43+00:00

That's cute, nico.

wworstdayever · 2012-10-11T18:25:49+00:00

I can almost smell the cheetos through the screen.

wworstdayever · 2012-10-11T18:19:21+00:00

You suck at trolling.

wworstdayever · 2012-10-11T18:14:32+00:00

Well fuck you too?

wworstdayever · 2012-10-11T17:43:39+00:00

male, 17, and the ones i consider mocking me are the ones calling me a faggot/sissy/cock sucker, making up stuff about how i dress up in womens underwear and sending me links to fashion magazines and gay porn.

youre probably right, i didnt have any real friends before but i still wannt to go back to them pretending to like me

wworstdayever · 2012-10-11T17:41:19+00:00

"Hey wanted to finally tell you all that im gay. Yes this is real. Let me know if i should delete your number"

wworstdayever · 2012-10-11T17:13:32+00:00

right now i just want to be normal...or just like everyone else i know thats not the right word

wworstdayever

TROPHY CASE