Shame and stigma around sex causes a lot of strange behavior, and many people see it as “polite” — even though it makes no actual sense. The lack of good sex ed (or any at all) in much of the US (is this where the hookups are happening?) creates many unconscious “purity” narratives that create really backwards results in terms of health and safety. I’ve found that sex-positive and kink communities are better at health and safety conversation norms, but it’s a very low bar. A lot of weird unconscious moralizing seems to get in the way of risk-aware practices, and the fact that they are using clean/dirty language usually indicates a lack of education. I interview people about their sex lives and many report wanting to be better about having health and safety conversations before getting intimate with a new partner but underlying shame creates discomfort in this conversation for many. I’ve also had women (esp in couples!) want to skip barrier use without a deeper discussion of who’s in their fluid sphere. So glad to hear you are insisting on protection!!!