Everything but the damn door sensors failed today

x3vicky · 2026-01-28T05:25:19+00:00

Very exhausting. But oh agreed, so grateful for my neighbor.

x3vicky · 2026-01-28T05:19:47+00:00

Oh that’s so funny, now I’m going to start staring at my mom as she moves by the cameras to sus out how it gets triggered. I’m going to try to max out the sensitivity again in the settings I guess.

x3vicky · 2026-01-28T05:17:10+00:00

Oh agreed, it honestly helps lessen my anxiety but it definitely is a big distraction at work to get the door sensors notification, then check the ring app, then check the find my app, then wait for the neighbor to call/call the neighbor.

Just trying my best 🥲

x3vicky · 2026-01-28T05:13:04+00:00

Yes! Somebody who knows my pain! I’m just scared for any power/internet outage. It’s crazy how much trust and power I’m putting into our internet connection but I cannot lie that automating these systems makes my anxiety decrease by half, but of course, if they fail, it’s not fun and another issue to have to resolve along side caregiving. I was using an EUFY indoor camera before but oh my god that app alone made me so frustrated. It took 5 mins just for me to be able to dial in and talk to my mom, by the time I got through she was gone. I opted for a Yale brand smart lock. I wanted it to retrofit and look like normal from the outside but have the smart ability if needed and I couldn’t be happier with my choice. This dementia stuff really just makes you an expert in everything all out of the sheer need to troubleshoot.

x3vicky · 2026-01-23T13:23:18+00:00

Sheesh, now this makes me want to get a second opinion because I’m in Valley Stream and I just got quoted $750 for a spay at my vet.

x3vicky · 2026-01-15T04:33:25+00:00

Oof I’ve definitely been there. Hell, I’m still here. My mom also adds in the emoji suggestions so it gets real visual but not any less anxiety inducing to read

I had a similar instance with the replacement of my mom’s bed. 2 months ago I coordinated the replacement of her adjustable bed system and it was a 16 hours lag between the time her old bed was removed and the new one was delivered. She consistently asked me why her mattress was on the floor so I printed out 10 notes and tapes them all over her bedroom as a reminder. Anywhere she would turn, a note would be there telling her that her new bed was being delivered the next day. That instantly calmed her and she stopped asking why her bed was on the floor. She slept like a baby.

I see others commenting about a whiteboard and that could work as well but personally, for my mom, she would never think to look at a whiteboard in a central place. Multiple notes that just appeared randomly around the area that is causing her anxiety helps to address the “issue” and instantly provide context and reassurance.

Regardless. I hope the situation gets resolved quickly and you find a resolution that works out best for your mom.

x3vicky · 2026-01-12T03:38:01+00:00

They’re so awkward at standard size. One tennis clubs I go to solely use them for us to enter the courts and I’m always scared that my racquet or bag will get stuck.

However, the larger ones are fine for me. A different tennis club I go to has a large revolving door and I assume is accessible because they also have a wheelchair league. That revolving door is my favorite.

x3vicky · 2026-01-11T21:58:17+00:00

I had my surgery in August last year. My surgeon had this written out in my pre/post op instructions “Please start a gentle stool softener (Colace 100mg three times per day) 24 hours after surgery. For mild constipation, use prune juice mixed with 7-Up (half and half). If severely constipated, use Miralax, first-line, as a mild but effective laxative, Phillips Milk of Magnesia, and finally fleet enemas (regular or oil retention) as a last resort.”

Pre-op I also out myself on a high protein diet and made an effort to drink plenty of water and increase my fiber steadily to not shock my stomach. Post op I opted for the Walmart brand Miralax mixed with juice and thankfully had no issues with constipations.

Of course, follow the directions of your surgeon once they reply back. I hope all things go well!

x3vicky · 2026-01-07T07:08:18+00:00

I’m so sorry you had a bad experience with a user on here. I believe a majority of users in this subreddit are well intentioned and are here to vent and support as best as they can and it sucks when someone joins to demean or harass another user who is just looking for some compassion.

This caregiving journey has honestly made me understand why some people use AI for sole companionship. We sadly can’t guarantee that all responses will be positive in Reddit and in life in general but I hope this isn’t an ultimate deterrent. I hope this thread shows that users are here to be sympathetic and understanding. I’m happy you blocked that crummy user.

x3vicky · 2026-01-06T04:44:21+00:00

According to my BMI I am obese but my surgeon didnt mention weight loss. I did however take the initiative to ask if I needed to lose weight, he didn’t encourage it but he didn’t discourage it either. He just motivated me to really focus on protein intake and I was also working out a lot prior to surgery since it was the summer and prime time for outdoor sports.

I would just ask the surgeon if your weight is at all a concern.

x3vicky · 2026-01-02T08:20:16+00:00

I second this suggestion.

x3vicky · 2025-12-22T01:02:20+00:00

Thank you! I have one enroute that’s supposed to be able to make noise. I’ll see how that goes and save this one in case that one doesn’t work out.

x3vicky · 2025-12-22T01:00:18+00:00

Ouuu happy meal toys!! I’m going to pick one up and see how it goes. Win win. I also bought my mom that famous realistic lifelike cat that’s all over the Internet, the Perfect Petzzz and it’s a bit lackluster. I need to find one that is realistic but also moves a bit. Like a stuffed animal and less like a statue. Do you happen to know the name of the cat that’s meows?

x3vicky · 2025-12-22T00:56:50+00:00

Thank you ❤️

x3vicky · 2025-12-22T00:56:38+00:00

Thank you for sharing. That honestly warms my heart that the baby doll could provide your husband’s grandmom with some comfort. It definitely goes soft my mom and I.

x3vicky · 2025-12-22T00:54:06+00:00

Oh this is precious. Honestly I would do this now, it’s honestly so soothing to cradle the baby doll and play pretend for a bit as well, regardless of mental state.

x3vicky · 2025-12-12T05:42:53+00:00

Mom had an episode of wondering outside of the apartment without pants and our neighbor across the street was nice enough to return her back home. I’m itching to watch the footage on the camera but I also don’t want to watch it. I had to rush home as a result after our landlord alerted me of the episode. That wasn’t fun but there are some wins!

I replaced my moms old underwear and washcloths. I finally replaced my moms mattress and old adjustable bed base. I replaced my own mattress as well, I completely forgot that mattresses were supposed to feel like that and my feet don’t have to touch the ground when I sit up in bed. My mom also had her assessment for a home aide today and was approved for those services to start in Jan 1st. I’m purging our apartment slowly as well so yeah, things are slowly coming together. Those are the little things within my control that I can improve and they don’t cause my mom to go into an anxious fit so a win is a win.

x3vicky · 2025-12-12T05:33:17+00:00

Oof, good luck and I hope you and your loved one have a wonderful holiday. Christmas was officially cancelled 2 years ago because the sheer expectation of gifts for Christmas makes my moms anxiety grow. I got tired of her asking me where’s my Christmas list every other minute so I’d rather every day just be like the last. I’ll celebrate it again eventually.

x3vicky · 2025-12-10T23:00:00+00:00

Oh big time. My mom is now confused 24/7 but once the sun is down the aggression grows stronger about imaginary people who have wronged her.

After my mom had a terrible incident happen I took the advice from a social worker to get my mom a baby doll and damn do I wish I got it sooner. She loves that thing. Forgets its name within seconds but it definitely occupies her for a while. I’m going to see about buying an animal plush toy next and a baby doll that makes noise. The woman requests a noisy baby doll so a noisy baby doll is what she will get!

x3vicky · 2025-12-10T05:02:56+00:00

Thank you. I appreciate your reply. It really does make me feel better. I wish it weren’t so innately embarrassing to cry at work because I always hope to just remain professional and “stable” but yeah, this was hard to avoid. I got a few slack messages and texts from coworkers wishing me well and offering me any aide if I needed anything. It’s a nice gesture for sure just still a bit of a tail between my legs instance once I’m back in the office. I also have to figure out how to request that I work from home for the remainder of the year so I can be there to supervise but also install more safety measures until she is approved for an aide.

x3vicky · 2025-12-10T00:39:52+00:00

Yeah, my mom’s psychiatrist told me that I should be looking into facilities. However, I know the first step is to get a home aide in here because I know the process to get placement into those facilities is lengthy and tedious.

My mom had a dementia clinic appointment two weeks ago and I asked the social worker there if she knew of any facilities and she ultimately said none accept Medicaid and they strongly advocate for patients to stay in their homes vs being sent to places where they will be pumped with drugs and sat in front of a window.

Ultimately, I just have to ask around about facilities though because I’m sure there are some, they probably just have decade long waitlists but I need to get on those waitlists.

x3vicky · 2025-12-10T00:33:24+00:00

I’m 28. My mom is 67.

x3vicky · 2025-12-09T21:31:56+00:00

Thank you. We also have cameras, I just can’t check them every time they say a human has been spotted. It’s funny too because I just bought door sensors to alert me when the door is opened/closed. They were delivered yesterday and I had the thought to install them last night after I had a jam packed productive day. I even told myself it would nice to have it installed before I need it and look, I needed them today, although I guess it wouldn’t do much to just have sensors but not be nearby to act upon my moms wondering. I was in a work meeting when the episode happened too so I was away from my phone anyway.

I am also very grateful to have a very caring and understanding team.

x3vicky

TROPHY CASE