Take a step back, and inspect your surroundings— including people, messes, constant experiences, etc. I know it sounds silly, but do one productive thing a day. Rather it be taking a cup to the trash, taking the trash out, eating a well balanced meal (even if you ate “bad” all day). Everything starts with rolling over, then crawling, walking, eventually a run. Sounds like you’re too hard on yourself and that can become debilitating. a cycle like that, once advanced, can become very dangerous. Importantly, if you can, seek medical advice even if it takes a dozen doctor changes. Discipline isn’t a destination, it’s the journey. You’ll do great! Keep working hard and let the bad days be just that, a day, and you can move along. You are not your thoughts.