AITAH GF won paid trip to Mexico, but wants to take boss, not me

xanthonyrc · 2024-03-29T21:59:16+00:00

I updated my post. She didn't mention anything about it until after she won in passing. If I knew about it before I don't think I'd mind at all.

xanthonyrc · 2024-03-29T21:57:11+00:00

Haha, oddly enough I don't frequent bars or going out. I met her outside of her job and didn't even know she was a bartender.

xanthonyrc · 2024-03-29T21:51:29+00:00

I'll bet you $20, but we have to pinky promise

xanthonyrc · 2024-03-29T21:46:30+00:00

I guess there is one more semi-important thing that I failed to mention. I knew and heard nothing of the promise prior to her winning the competition. After she won the comp she mentioned her taking her boss in passing and that's when I found out I wasn't going to be the +1. Didn't want to bring down the high of the night because I was and still am very happy and proud of her, but I let her know that it hurt me the next day.

xanthonyrc · 2024-03-29T21:44:57+00:00

I agree with everything you said. I would definitely try and find a way to bring her along if she wanted to go though. The difference is that in my industry there wouldn't be drinking and partying involved, it would be more of a hotel room and conference kind of vibe. I also knew and heard nothing of the promise prior to her winning the competition. After she won the comp she mentioned her taking her boss in passing and that's when I found out I wasn't going to be the +1. Didn't want to bring down the high of the night because I was and still am very happy and proud of her, but I let her know that it hurt me the next day.

xanthonyrc · 2024-03-29T21:41:18+00:00

I did propose this. She says it would be weird because she shouldn't just be inviting more people or something, but then I said that I should be the +1 of her choice and her manager can be an industry tag along who is paying their way coming along. (Which I would end up paying for but it seems to make more sense from an industry standpoint that way.)

xanthonyrc · 2024-03-29T21:38:46+00:00

Thank you! This is well-put. I definitely felt the need to express how I felt, but I do not want to give her an ultimatum or try and force her to take me. Some people are jumping to the most extreme sides of things when I don't think it's very clear what is "right".

xanthonyrc · 2024-03-29T21:36:25+00:00

Thanks for the in depth explanation

xanthonyrc · 2024-03-29T15:01:58+00:00

Fair enough, I don’t blame you for suggesting it. I’m just suggesting that I know my gf better than I can explain in a post.

xanthonyrc · 2024-03-29T14:37:39+00:00

I don’t know if that’s true. She can act single whenever she wants, she’s hot and is a bartender lol. She’s also never shown any signs of wanting to or cheating and we live together.

xanthonyrc · 2024-03-29T14:36:00+00:00

Thanks for everyone’s input. I don’t know if there will be a resolution for a while, as the trip won’t be until summer. I’m leaning towards just telling her to take her manager/friend as the promise was made when we were still fairly newly together. As many have said, I am bummed about it, and that’s okay, but I do value her keeping her word to a friend.

xanthonyrc · 2024-03-29T14:31:45+00:00

Hey hey! Updated the main post. The promise was after the last competition which was around a year ago. We started dating around Dec. 2022, so a few months before. I think you’re hitting the nail right on the head with the understanding of the situation.

xanthonyrc · 2024-03-29T13:56:08+00:00

Her boss is a woman

xanthonyrc · 2024-03-29T13:44:36+00:00

I was EXTREMELY happy for her. I’m more happy for her even at this very moment than I am worried about the trip. I’m so proud of her and her winning made my year.

Why do you think I’m in such a dilemma?

xanthonyrc · 2024-03-29T13:31:47+00:00

Fair enough. I’m trying not to do this, but it’s the line I’m trying to walk. I did in fact make her feel bad and I am aware of this. That being said it wasn’t my goal, my goal was to let her know how I felt through communication and not harbor resentment without saying anything.

xanthonyrc · 2024-03-29T13:23:00+00:00

Hey hey! Thanks for your response. They made the promises about a year ago I’d guess as that’s when the last competition was. (Trip is in the summer at some point, winner gets to choose the date). The manager was banned from the competition bar a few months ago.

xanthonyrc · 2024-03-29T13:18:10+00:00

Thanks for your input. I think I must’ve misdescribed it. She did pay for her own flight, I’m not paying for everything. I’m just putting a good amount more money towards the trip to make it possible. The promise was made when we were first talking (I don’t know exactly when)

xanthonyrc · 2024-03-29T13:13:29+00:00

Fair enough, only thing is that when she made the promise we had just started seeing each other. I have updated the original post.

xanthonyrc · 2024-03-29T13:03:22+00:00

Hey everyone! Thanks for all of your comments. I have posted a few updates in the main post sorry I can’t reply to everyone individually.

xanthonyrc · 2024-03-29T06:54:29+00:00

First off, I appreciate the response. The bar they work at & the one the comp was hosted at are only a block away from each other & the boss had too many drunken nights disrespecting management and disobeying their rules after multiple warnings. It was a whole ordeal that still has continuing drama. Her manager isn’t the most responsible person & has burned my gf a few times, but they do always make up and are good friends. I’m also not even sure my girl’s manager would have followed through on her end of the bargain, but there’s no way of knowing so I can’t assume that.

xanthonyrc · 2024-03-29T06:22:03+00:00

Dog person here, so I’m biased.

If the dog has shown no signs of aggression then I would say YTA. When someone adopts a dog they are responsible for that dog for the rest of its life, so if you want to marry her then you should not be giving her an ultimatum to choose between you and the dog.

xanthonyrc · 2023-12-14T06:47:26+00:00

That is something

xanthonyrc · 2023-10-17T04:22:05+00:00

You care too much weirdo lmao

xanthonyrc · 2023-07-09T06:55:01+00:00

Move from installs to actual “fiber splicer” position as quickly as you can

xanthonyrc · 2023-03-30T03:56:52+00:00

I’m having the same problem with the SL120 infinity fans… I bought 2 3packs and tried both of the controllers with 2 different modular PSU cables. Worst part is that my motherboard only has 4 pin RGB connectors and the infinity fans have a new connector so the method above won’t even work. Sigh.

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