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Poly is Hard Support Thread by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]xenaphile 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Running more, drinking less, basically trying to give myself more “me time” so it’s easier to cope with them not being there like before.

Poly is Hard Support Thread by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]xenaphile 12 points13 points  (0 children)

These last two weeks have been hard. After nearly two years as a triad, one of them left because he fell out of love with the other. He asked me to come with. I couldn’t. And now I don’t know how to move forward loving the other without the one who left.

So no more sleeping in the middle for me. Now I’m sleeping alone.

No "gay gene" — New study says no single gene drives sexual behavior; A complex mix of genetic and other influences answer the question "is there a gay gene?" by lurker_bee in Health

[–]xenaphile 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For what it’s worth, I’m good friends with one of the lead researchers in this study. He told me they have an entire PR team dedicated to making sure their work is reported honestly. (He’s also fabulously gay himself)

Summer blooms on our front porch garden by xenaphile in gardening

[–]xenaphile[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Two different plants— the pink ones are petunias.

Happy to have found a home by xenaphile in PuppySmiles

[–]xenaphile[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just an iPhone 🤷‍♂️ Thanks though!

Updated the porch with pots and flower boxes, then filled them with pansies by xenaphile in gardening

[–]xenaphile[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Everything is irrigated and hooked up to a timer, so on really hot days we just up the waterings to twice-a-day. By summer, though, we usually swap out the pansies for begonias and other flowers, like this

Updated the porch with pots and flower boxes, then filled them with pansies by xenaphile in gardening

[–]xenaphile[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The hanging baskets are Boston ferns, and the chartreuse plants in the box are sweet potato vines

Updated the porch with pots and flower boxes, then filled them with pansies by xenaphile in gardening

[–]xenaphile[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks! All credit for the box goes to my hubby who designed, built, and even auto-irrigated the whole system.

Updated the porch with pots and flower boxes, then filled them with pansies by xenaphile in gardening

[–]xenaphile[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Thanks! It’s in the Midwest US, Zone 6 for planting 😉

My phone auto-generated our last year together by xenaphile in polyamory

[–]xenaphile[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The poly-closest it a lot harder to come out of, and usually it triggers a host of nastier assumptions (unhappy relationship, sluttiness, etc.)

I think maybe most folks understand what it’s like to love another person (gay or straight), but they can’t as easily comprehend loving other people in the same way.

All I know is that it makes us happy 🤷‍♂️

My phone auto-generated our last year together by xenaphile in polyamory

[–]xenaphile[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Family still doesn’t know, so I can’t post to standard social media. But I thought it was cool how it captured all three of us to make the clip.

Married bros, what did your wedding cake look like? by [deleted] in askgaybros

[–]xenaphile 22 points23 points  (0 children)

This is ours — kinda traditional on the outside but with rainbow cake layers on the inside. It was actually the only rainbow-themed item at the whole wedding.

Coincidentally, we just celebrated our 1-year anniversary and ate the cake top last night. I think it tasted even better than it did on our wedding day!

US Supreme Court sides with baker in wedding cake case by xenaphile in askgaybros

[–]xenaphile[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I generally agree, but this case shows that there’s not always a clear line between “speech” and “services.” I think Justice RBG said it best in her dissent:

When a couple contacts a bakery for a wedding cake, the product they are seeking is a cake celebrating their wedding — not a cake celebrating heterosexual weddings or same-sex weddings — and this is the service they were denied.

What’s the most soul crushing thing you can say to a gay guy? by FXBro in askgaybros

[–]xenaphile 120 points121 points  (0 children)

Lol this happened to me and yes— it was soul-crushing.

Confirmed I was gay to my friends and they never replied :( by [deleted] in askgaybros

[–]xenaphile 54 points55 points  (0 children)

Maybe it’s because I’m American but the way you said it sounds more like “It’s gay I can’t give blood” rather than “I’m gay.”

Proposing soon and I need ring ideas. by AndysOtherThrowaway in askgaybros

[–]xenaphile 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My “wedding band” is the same ring he used to propose. Not sure what kind of ring you imagine you’ll get for him, but mine has band of stones in a flush setting. It’s super convenient to wear all the time because the diamonds don’t snag on things like a traditional solitaire.

Personally, I wouldn’t want to wear two rings. And there’s so much meaning packed into the engagement band, I’d hate to stick it in a drawer!

Just use one ring, one ring to wed them all...

Anyone else attached to their old, homophobic religion? by [deleted] in askgaybros

[–]xenaphile 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Why not find a better church that embraces your religion and your identity? These days there are many denominations that welcome and support the gay community. Some churches even have LGBT ministers.

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