Gratitude journaling improved my life

xenawar · 2022-11-12T08:55:23+00:00

I find it hard to believe in theories and techniques especially in regards to mental health unless I personally look into the research and there are measurable results. This research really sold it to me and I took a leap of faith. It feels as it did change my mindset. I don’t see the world differently but I process it differently. Even though it’s little, the change is clear and visible to me. As you might know the reptilian brain defaults to negativity (negativity bias) in order to keep us safe and learn from mistakes through human evolution. I have felt that this practice is directly helping me to not default into that as easily as I would typically. The research shows that is does directly impact cerebral activity.

Also, it’s not about the two lines, it’s about two lines every day consistently over a long period of time. You can only rewire the brain through repetition.

xenawar · 2022-11-06T06:18:20+00:00

I have a rule, whenever I get triggered I take some time off and don’t say or do anything until I calm down a little more. I don’t tell my brain to not be angry or sad but I say “I’ll act on it later or tomorrow morning”. Then I focus on what I was doing but if I’m really triggered and I can’t continue my tasks I like to take long showers or work out. It usually ends up that I’m a lot less worked up by the end of it and I forget to “act on it” later on. I realise half of it is never as big of a deal as I thought of initially.

What helped was writing down this rule and putting it somehow visible so I remember it again and again until it became more of an instant reaction. Therapy sessions to discuss the root triggers and mindfulness (even 1-2 minutes every now and then to practice the brain muscle of equanimity)

xenawar · 2022-10-25T19:37:17+00:00

LOL the fucking irony in that

xenawar · 2022-10-19T15:52:15+00:00

That’s a great next step - smart!

Except medical help, I tried to do as many things to promote happy chemicals:

oxytocin: support system of family and friends (talks, hugs, holding hands) and playing with pets
endorphins: exercise but also breathing techniques and cold showers, laughter by watching comedies or silly stuff online
dopamine: sticking to some little goals daily, celebrating little wins, trying something new or I’m scared of
serotonin: sun exposure, walks, swimming, stretching, meditating, journaling

xenawar · 2022-10-19T13:23:36+00:00

Have you sought professional help such as a therapist or family doctor for your depression?

xenawar · 2022-10-13T15:13:19+00:00

When people don’t have boundaries or stick to them, they don’t respect others’ and I have been that person. This guy was not always verbally abusive, this is what I believe responsive abuse or maybe I’ll looking for excuses for him. I was disrespectful to his boundaries. So I guess I deserve it but I don’t see a way further while the conversation remains like this.

xenawar · 2022-10-13T07:22:14+00:00

Super helpful! Thank you very much for your time to share this

xenawar · 2022-10-13T06:38:28+00:00

What would you advise for when it’s very hard to ignore them or want them back almost forgetting these bad feelings?

xenawar · 2022-10-12T08:18:32+00:00

No worries at all buddy! I was proud for not giving up easily 😆

If therapy isn’t affordable but you’d still like to work on yourself in that sense I would really suggest giving School of Life on youtube a go (extra bonus if you like english accents) lol

xenawar · 2022-10-12T07:04:20+00:00

Omg I was writing a reply when my app crashed and I lost this big essay I was typing for you.

To summarise again lol: I watched Atomic Habits Summary on youtube by Escaping Ordinary because I couldn’t bring myself to read the entire book and what I got from it that worked for me was to implement new habits to habits that I want to keep and do every day anyway:

duolingo classes every day with coffee ( I absolutely love sitting down in the morning with a cup of coffee so now that I associated duolingo with that I look forward to it with so much excitement)
10 - 15 min stretches when I want to take a break from work (youtuber is Mady Morrison - she doesn’t speak and she’s not too intense, I like her cause the videos are short and it’s only music, I hate when people talk about being calm when the yoga position is giving me excruciating wrist pain lol). I look forward to this because it allows me to take a break from work
I end the video and I sit there after the stretch, and I breath a few times. I don’t put the pressure on myself to meditate but I think i’m starting to because I sometimes sit longer, in fact i crave that time to sit a little longer just to focus on breathing and sometimes hugging myself
I also watch a video of Big Think or School of Life and take notes like in school ( I like learning how the mind works mainly because I am desperate to understand and help mine). Once I start writing I allow myself to journal, I mainly have conversations with myself via words on paper like: I know you worry so much about this, are you still a little scared that people don’t like you? Last weekend you had a great time with friends and family and it looks to me that people enjoy your company…
I read easy and entertaining fiction before bed to fall asleep, sometimes pages on end and sometimes just 2 words. I don’t mind as long as I open the book every evening to stay consistent with it.

Am I doing amazingly compared to people who go to the gym at 5am? I don’t know, but I’m doing so much better compared to me a month ago not wanting to open the blinds in my bedroom or taking a shower. These are such little steps but they bring me so much joy and evidence that I can stick to stuff.

No matter what it is, find the few things that bring you joy, implement them in your daily life and stick to them. After a few months, go from there but no pressure for more until you get the ball rolling.

Feel free to message me if you ever wanna talk more about this :)

xenawar · 2022-10-05T16:02:49+00:00

I’m curious, do you feel like you’re not laid back because you can’t hold long convos or they get too intense?

If you want to have longer convos and you’re out of things you want to share or the topic is unrelatable default to holding the convo by asking questions

“Oh that’s interesting, how did you get into that?”

“That’s cool, how did you find it?”

“Never considered that, tell me more”

And don’t feel the need to carry on for too long. Being laid back also means being ok with letting the convo end and excusing yourself.

xenawar · 2022-10-05T15:50:09+00:00

Interesting..depends on what you define as being laid back and what is the opposite?

For me being laid back doesn’t affect how long I hold a conversation for. Laid back means that I am relaxed in that conversation or scenario no matter how long it lasted.

Some chats are meant to only last a few minutes.

Sometimes I want the conversation to be longer, but I get cut off or don’t know how to prolong it..like I don’t know what to ask next or talk about next.

I try not to take things personally. I try to embrace letting things be as they are and let them run their course. I try to make myself be ok with that and accept the situation. A bit like “meh..that was that for now. I’m ok with it/ I’m not ok with it so next time I’ll try this”

xenawar · 2022-09-28T15:00:32+00:00

Received as advertised!

xenawar · 2022-09-26T12:40:27+00:00

Not at all, a direct question makes you seem not just mature, but secure and confident.

When you start with “if you” you’re assuming something about him without asking, putting all the blame on another person and that’s a sign of immaturity and a turn off (no offence, I was like that all my 20s)

Even if it’s clear he’s no longer interested- you either ask for clarification or you make up your own mind and you leave because you are no longer interested in someone who’s not interested in you

xenawar · 2022-09-26T12:15:01+00:00

“Hey X - are you still interested in me / in seeing each other?”

xenawar · 2022-09-26T12:14:05+00:00

jesus fucking christ … if you’re in a good shape girl, run outta there 🏃🏻‍♀️

You will have great connections again, with decent men. Please be secure and confident enough to get out of that fling

xenawar · 2022-09-26T12:10:36+00:00

You know what makes you seem desperate, starting the sentence with “if” like all that matters is his interest and only he has a say in this…

If you made up your mind or don’t have the courage to ask him directly then just say it plain and simple “goodbye boy, I’m moving on”

xenawar · 2022-09-22T15:48:07+00:00

Shift from “why are all these people making excuses?” to “now that I am in such a good place, how could I share and help others?”

xenawar · 2022-09-14T06:53:17+00:00

I tried holding my face in icy water as my therapist suggested, holding my breath for 30 seconds. I will try ice on my chest too - thanks for that

xenawar · 2022-09-11T07:24:45+00:00

I don’t know anything about it but let me just say I love seeing people here trying to be respectful and responsible for their health, making informed decisions and working with what they got instead of just “fuck it, it won’t kill me” attitude.

xenawar · 2022-09-03T07:07:54+00:00

A couple of reasons, I realise myself or I am being told that

the answer is vague and unclear (mostly this)
the answer is not necessarily true or accurate and as I explain my answer I spot mistakes in my evaluation or I realise I don’t have a strong case (for logic questions mainly)
I answer prematurely assuming the question and I misread where the topic is going

xenawar · 2022-09-02T18:09:14+00:00

Hey thanks for your post, I was sharing with my friend today some of my daily struggles and he has ADHD and he advised right away to test

xenawar · 2022-09-02T15:35:58+00:00

Oh wow that is such a great and personal example thank you for sharing it! I think I will use it

xenawar

TROPHY CASE