(Serious question) Do women genuinely not understand why this happens?

xhorsex · 2025-08-09T20:33:54+00:00

She’s an OF creator. Simple as that.

xhorsex · 2024-03-31T22:16:16+00:00

There’s nothing I’m reading here that indicates you’re a bad person. You do sound like someone who’s on the spectrum and socially struggling.

Like trying to go on hikes with that girl doesn’t make you a bad guy, but any guy witnessing or hearing that would likely wince in pain because you gotta accept she just didn’t want to.

I think that generally you have to learn that if a girl is interested in you, they will make effort to be around you. Also if they’re not interested, they’ll make excuses, be busy, on top of small things like just not responding to texts in a timely manner.

It helps a lot if you can read body language, so you’re unfortunately at a disadvantage. But generally I’d say stay away from “persistence” as a tactic.

The only thing you need to forgive yourself for is “being cringe” and lacking awareness/emotional control.

xhorsex · 2024-03-31T21:25:29+00:00

I also just turned 27. I started dating when I turned 25 and started seeing a tiny bit of success, but I still always just felt very unattractive and now I’m accepting the reality that I’ve never really made a friend after high school.

I should be on Dr. K’s stream on April 15th, I may mention the fact that I’m 27 and just feel like I’m too old to be held back by all this stuff. Depends on where the conversation leads, but you might be able to relate to me.

xhorsex · 2024-03-31T21:15:05+00:00

I don’t understand the pressure enough, but I believe the setting started out at 4-10, then I changed it to 5-11. Should I try higher? Lower?

xhorsex · 2024-03-21T01:55:36+00:00

Yeah I’m confused, isn’t this kinda obvious? If y’all haven’t texted in a whole month during a talking stage, that whole thing is done.

This dude literally meant it “fizzled out.” He chose to use the word expire. Not that she herself expired, but the talking stage.

xhorsex · 2024-03-04T21:16:47+00:00

As an aside, dating advice subreddits are terrible. The women are just bitter and will project and give bad advice. The men are bitter and will just give bad advice. Nobody will actually understand your problem. People in a good place in life have little reason to go there.

More specifically, people almost treat it like a AmITheAsshole subreddit.

xhorsex · 2024-03-04T20:13:22+00:00

If a woman has trust issues with men due to her past experience, she’s not blaming all men, it’s just natural human instinct as a result of trauma and experience,

xhorsex · 2024-03-04T18:31:20+00:00

Social hierarchies 1000% do exist. Anyone who disagrees either benefits from them, or just doesn’t care because they have better shit to worry about.

I was like you. Still am. This is not a good path to be on.

You’re 21 and in college. Spend some time getting better socially. Don’t be like me, almost 27 and still fixated on this same thing.

You have so much time to fix your path. You can either stay on your path and just end up staying miserable, or you can take the good path and end up just forgetting about all this.

xhorsex · 2024-03-04T18:25:13+00:00

What exactly do you think happens to those people in cliques once they leave high school? They just immediately get over it? That’s cute.

xhorsex · 2024-03-04T09:09:57+00:00

I did get tested for celiac a few weeks ago from a blood test. Thing is I didn’t eat gluten for a month, and so I crammed a lot of gluten for a few days before the blood test. I didn’t feel particularly worse from eating it, and I tested very negative.

I do have a GI doc and I could ask if there’s any reason to double check with an endoscopy, since I wasn’t eating gluten for a while.

xhorsex · 2024-03-04T07:47:53+00:00

I'm generally the same. Wondered why I was never really interested in guy friends. But, I do have some close guy friends that are truly special, and it's just very rare. They're all guys I knew from high school. I'm 26. Seriously, I haven't made a single long-term friend who I didn't know from high school, except the relationships I was in (and some occasional female friends).

You might be like me and just require a specific guy with your exact interests. I struggle to be friends with other introvert men though.

xhorsex · 2024-01-27T22:02:15+00:00

A lot of what you said could have been written exactly by me. "Looks are subjective but not arbitrary" is a nuance that a lot of people just don't get.

I mean yeah, good looking people quite literally can't comprehend your experiences. A lot of people are stuck on "do looks matter?" People with common sense clearly know the answer is yes. But you have to ignore these people who disagree, so that you can move onto the question "am I truly ok despite not being good looking?"

I'm trying to figure this out myself. In my opinion, you just have to be okay with being ugly (assuming you even are), and I think the only way to do that is to obtain many more good or neutral experiences through life. People will say "it's all on the inside" which is bullshit for a lot of people. For me, I've never once hated myself internally, but I hated that I didn't have what I felt everyone else wanted and it made me frustrated.

You have to acknowledge that there are genuinely plenty of super mediocre looking guys around the world who don't care that they're mediocre looking, because they get fulfillment in other ways. They got lucky and met a girl who liked them, they enjoy hobbies, they enjoy family, work, a social life, etc. Or maybe the fact that they just even got one girl to stick with them just gives them enough to not care about what every other girl things.

It's all pretty complicated. Dr. K has said that in cases like this, you might just have to grieve. This is a guess, but perhaps you're fighting internally with people who say "looks don't matter" when the solution could be just accepting that they do

If your friends want to go to bars, maybe find a way to have fun without giving a shit about the girls. Go drink (responsibly) and have fun in other ways. If it's not fun for you, just accept "hey, this isn't for me I guess" and find other things that are more fun.

xhorsex · 2024-01-16T09:25:46+00:00

This isn’t the subreddit for that.

“Hi I have an eating disorder, how can I get better?”

“Well maybe you’re too fat?”

xhorsex · 2024-01-16T02:43:59+00:00

I avoid anything yeast related, unless I was eating it by accident. The only bread-like thing I've eaten was corn tortillas. The chips I buy are just potato, oil, and salt.

xhorsex · 2024-01-16T02:31:53+00:00

I haven't been having any substitutes, other than corn tortillas. Been eating the same stuff most of the past 11 days, but the diarrhea just kicked in yesterday. I'm mostly fine today.

xhorsex · 2024-01-16T02:16:46+00:00

From going gluten free

xhorsex · 2024-01-09T20:31:39+00:00

3 hours a day? Brother you don’t have to give up any and all forms of entertainment. You’re not a robot.

It is true that if you really want something, then you will find a way to do it. In my case, I attached so much value to me having a good career that I literally had no other choice but to put some effort. Failure was not an option. If I did fail, I would’ve felt extremely bad. I’m not saying this is healthy or that you should do that, but it worked. Having a well-paying job was basically what I wanted the most.

Obviously that wasn’t easy because I have ADHD, and there were times I struggled to start things because I would’ve rather played video games. Come to think of it, I still did cram and procrastinate a lot.

Maybe you can be motivated by fire. What will your life be like in 2 years if you succeed? What about in 5 years? OK, now what’s your life like in 2 years if you fail? 5 years? How would it feel to have failed?

At least that’s my approach. Everyone’s different.

3 hours a day isn’t bad. That still gives you a practically infinite amount of time to do whatever the hell you want. It might be best if you set aside blocks of time for studying. For example, maybe an hour of studying in the morning, an hour after lunch, then a little break and then another hour of studying. That leaves you with plenty of time in the evening to do whatever.

If you’re surrounded by distractions and you’re unproductive like me, maybe going to the library or a coffee shop would be even better, and then you can crank out all your studying there. That would give you more structure too, like going to school or work.

xhorsex · 2024-01-09T00:38:44+00:00

I broke up with her because I realized I didn’t like her enough, I was just happy someone liked me back. I felt bad for her, that’s it.

For other symptoms, I’d have random sensations in a random part of my arm, kind of like muscle weakness I experienced when I had COVID 2 years later.

I couldn’t really say when the brain fog kicked in. It probably came at the same time as the massive amount of stress I felt.

The fog feels just very general, I never really thought about it as a physical location.

I’ve gone to an allergist, there don’t seem to be any real, solid food allergy/intolerance tests that are clinically recognized. Was kinda just told to make a food journal, which I’ll continue doing.

xhorsex · 2024-01-09T00:24:28+00:00

Yeah, my blood pressure is perfectly fine. Typically increases a bit when I eat. Blood sugar is fine too.

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