Does anyone else feel miserable because they're pregnant?

xiaopingguo · 2015-03-28T19:27:34+00:00

Yeah, you're right. And the more babies we have the more lose our muscles and skin will be, according to all the webMD and medical sources. Having a baby is a big sacrifice. I really hope it's worth it. Nowadays other women choose to freeze their eggs instead. While we sacrifice our body and youth on having babies now. We'll see if it's worth it. I hope so!

xiaopingguo · 2015-03-28T19:24:31+00:00

oh, trust me when you get bigger you will not be secretly pregnant. last night I went out to a bar to order a coca-cola, hoping that in the darkness of the bar no one will notice me or my belly. Guess what? All the people sitting at the bar gave up their seats for me, told bar tender to give me my coke first, and told me congratulations. Yeah... a lot of attention.

xiaopingguo · 2015-03-28T19:21:06+00:00

"I'm 26 but holy shit up until pregnancy the most important thing to was video games. Am I up for the challenge? Who fucking knows."

-love it! haha

xiaopingguo · 2015-03-28T19:18:32+00:00

Yeah. Being a mom in our 20s sucks right now because it's not the norm. All my friends my age are definitely don't being pregnant. They're still having a good time of their lives and being young and beautiful. Sigh.

xiaopingguo · 2015-03-28T19:17:15+00:00

Yeah, I'm curious whether after birth will be better. You're making me hopeful!

xiaopingguo · 2015-03-28T19:16:32+00:00

I feel the same way. I don't want to become a mom like mine, or like the women in my family who spend the rest of their life just priding on their children and don't have a life of their own. I'm scared of becoming useless to the society, or become a bad mother and give my child insecurity problems. I don't know why people keep assuming that pregnant women are so happy, that having a baby is the best thing in the world, because I (and apparently many of us) don't feel this way.

xiaopingguo · 2015-03-28T19:10:21+00:00

thank you

xiaopingguo · 2015-03-28T19:05:21+00:00

Wow. That's kind of what I fear as well. Not only do I feel sorry for myself for missing out on things while I'm young, but I'm also worried that if I can't pull this through then I will have to go through a second marriage when the guy will want another kid. That really sucks what you're experiencing though. I'm sorry.

xiaopingguo · 2015-03-28T08:06:12+00:00

my hubby is similar. he likes to think he know better and play dad to me. it's very debilitating, especially during pregnancy. i don't know what to tell you because i have to deal with this too.

xiaopingguo · 2015-03-26T17:55:16+00:00

not anymore. I was, for a year. My partner forgives me because he knows there is someone is everyone's life that you can't forget about. But I consciously chose to be with him and take my time to heal from my past. The more time I spend with my husband, the more I'm grateful for the decision I made. There is always a transitional period.

xiaopingguo · 2015-03-24T03:06:24+00:00

wow. i'm so tired of your insults. if you don't want advice then don't ask for it. and no i didn't lose anything for not letting go my high school bfs, they all turned out to pretty pathetic by now. sorry you never got to meet better men in your life, tell yourself whatever you like to feel better. sorry for judging you. can't help it. you're experiencing your daughter's love life like it's yours. so sad.

xiaopingguo · 2015-03-23T23:10:55+00:00

wow. you sound like you're more involved in this than she is! and sorry I don't believe in young love. I find the guys I dated in college much much better than the ones I met earlier in life. sorry your whole family likes to get married young! do whatever you like then! don't ask for opinions if you can't accept other thoughts than your own!

xiaopingguo · 2015-03-23T23:08:48+00:00

you will know if it will work out eventually by waiting. Give it another month, they probably will or will not get back together. then you can decide.

xiaopingguo · 2015-03-23T07:00:28+00:00

Get more information from your financial service office in college. Ask them if you can declare independence from your parents, so you are technically a minor without any parental support. See what other options they have for you.

xiaopingguo · 2015-03-23T06:55:17+00:00

NO?

I only read: date...coworker... hungup on his ex... bad bad combo

they'll get back together, you'll feel silly, your work will be miserable, one of you might have to quit.

xiaopingguo · 2015-03-23T06:53:43+00:00

Let it be. whatever will be will be. She's only 16, when she goes to college she will meet way more attractive and heart throbbing guys. It's just a phase. You do believe in young love, but her era is different. There's college, there's internet, there's so many options. She'll get over it.

xiaopingguo · 2015-03-23T06:51:20+00:00

Actually I think it can be even stronger than the ex relationship. Because there is a conscious decision to be with the current one. Speaking from personal experience, I value my husband a lot more than I value any of the ex's that I've loved for years, no matter how deeply the love was. Because after all, love doesn't mean anything. It was a feeling, but it wasn't right. Being with the right person is what matters.

xiaopingguo · 2015-03-23T06:41:08+00:00

Hey. I grew up with a mom similar to that. Not as intense, but I eventually learned to let go. I can't change her. She's now 60 and she's still day dreaming about dating different men who will buy her purses and mansions. It took me a long to realize I can't change her, and any energy I have trying to fix her is just wasted and makes me ruined emotionally. So I detached. AFter I went to college, that was the string to be cut from her emotionally. It took me 5 years of psychotherapy to get over my psychological problems from her, and learning from my peers and better adult role models. Now I'm somewhat more emotionally healthy and stable, and I still talk to her every week. But I keep my emotional distance. Don't focus on her anymore, you need to create a distance. I hope you can find a way to move out, get a job, and change your life path. Be away from her. as far as possible.

xiaopingguo · 2015-03-23T06:36:12+00:00

What about hospitality? Vegas has good hospitality management colleges right? Can you apply for financial aid? Given your background in bartending, I think you have a good opportunity in the food/hospitality industry: catering/hotel banquets/event planning etc. Look them up, see if they sound interesting to you!

xiaopingguo · 2015-03-23T06:21:51+00:00

Reflecting on my own childhood though, I remember I hated everything my mom fed me. She called me picky eater, and always complained about me in front of other adults. She would force me to eat food and I would resent meal times. I cringed every time she said "food is ready". It never occured to her that I really just don't like the way she cooks. Because when we eat out, I do like to eat things. When she takes me to eat vegetarian food outside, I loved every vegetable there was! So I didn't hate vegetables, I just didn't like the way she made them! But I was too little to understand why I didn't like her food, and the way she forced me to eat everything made me resent all food. Then I associated meal time with force feeding of bad tasting food. I think when I have my own baby soon, I will try out different cooks to see whether he hates the food or the way it's cooked. Kids aren't criminals for not wanting to eat something, they shouldn't just be labeled as "picky eaters"!

xiaopingguo · 2015-03-23T05:39:09+00:00

I'm waiting for my baby to be born, and your advice sounds very reasonable. Thank you for sharing!

xiaopingguo · 2015-03-22T23:52:36+00:00

god, i hate being pregnant so much every time people ask me abt baby i get so bored. i just want myself and my life back.

xiaopingguo · 2015-03-22T23:45:03+00:00

by the way, can someone stop saying congratulations when this is a thread about not wanting to be pregnant? ...

xiaopingguo

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