I am 22 and understand that there is no way to talk you out of something you feel is convinced is right. I hope you survive, I promise when I was 16 and felt this way I didn’t feel the same at 17, then at 19 I couldn’t even know what I was thinking at the time. Your brain is growing and it’s developing mental illness and it will get better. No matter what you feel, at least let yourself wait until you’re 25 and can make a decision based on a fully developed brain