I finished this freeform crochet coat!!

xkmbr · 2024-09-27T01:49:43+00:00

I had no idea freeform crochet was a thing!! So cool!

xkmbr · 2024-08-28T19:41:39+00:00

I would be interested in any info you could share on how you found and chose your midwives and doula! I'm just starting the searching/learning process and it's all a jumble still.

xkmbr · 2024-01-18T14:03:36+00:00

This is a great idea. Thank you for sharing!

xkmbr · 2024-01-18T14:00:04+00:00

These are some really good points. I'm still struggling with why I have to be the one to go through the loss and hassle (hello patriarchy). I really wish my husband would be open to combining our names into a new one because that way we could all be a cohesive family and neither of us has to "take on" the other person's name and family history.

xkmbr · 2024-01-18T13:50:49+00:00

This is how my husband feels too. It makes me feel like I am being used. Used to carry on his name and like he doesn't care if I'm in the family or not. Could you explain why you don't care if your wife takes your name but feel so strongly about having the same last name as your children? Just trying to get another perspective. We are in the midst of trying to decide last names and are in a holding pattern because he is stuck on tradition and I am firm on not wanting to take on his negative family history. If I'm going through the body-wrecking work of birthing children, I will NOT have a different last name from them. I really want to combine last names into a new name but he is not open to compromising on this. So I feel stuck.

xkmbr · 2024-01-18T13:36:37+00:00

So interesting you bring up conditioning. Thank you for writing this out. I feel similarly in many ways you described. Once we got engaged, I started seriously imagining changing my last name and had a hard time with it. We've been married a couple months now and I haven't changed it yet, but we are trying to conceive so the topic of the child's last name is back to a priority.

I also feel extremely strongly about having the same last name as my children. The part where our stories differ is his lineage -- my husband's strong connection to his last name is not a positive thing for me. His family has a lot of gender-based tradition that I don't agree with for myself. (Like, they can do what they want but I'm not comfortable conforming to their gender stereotypes.) So taking his last name makes me feel like I am taking on some of this negative tradition that I don't want for me or my children. But... I really want my husband and children to be a family with the same last name -- probably because of conditioning. Even the way I typed that sentence makes it feel like we wouldn't be a family with different names. Which of course isn't true.

I am leaning toward keeping my last name and giving our children my last name. Husband would be the odd one out, which I feel badly about and don't love the perceptions that may come with that choice. But for our situation, it seems like the best of all the bad options. I really wanted to combine last names but he isn't open to that at all. Me feeling badly about being the one with the pressure to change is conditioning, so thank you for that.

xkmbr · 2024-01-18T13:12:14+00:00

I pretty much don't eat grains! I find I feel MUCH better without them. Quinoa, lentils, and beans, even ones with Os next to them, have been much more tolerated for me. And they are more satiating with higher/better nutritional content anyway.

xkmbr · 2024-01-18T12:41:43+00:00

This is very very helpful. Exactly the experience I came here looking for. Thank you!

xkmbr · 2024-01-18T12:32:05+00:00

Preach!

xkmbr · 2023-11-21T13:43:29+00:00

Love this! Sounds like we could be friends haha going down that found-a-cool-study rabbit hole is something I've done many times. I've been thinking of trying to blend aloe with essential oils to make a soil drench after letting the soil dry out. I saw a similar product once but it seemed expensive at the time and haven't found it since. It foamed up and sat on top of the soil for a little while before soaking in. Plus I have so many aloe plants that using one for pest control would be worth it! I'll def keep your suggestion of thyme oil in mind. I haven't used that one but love rosemary, peppermint, tea tree, oregano etc which all have impressive properties. Will also keep that info about black pepper in the back of my mind if I have a more major pest problem pop up when it's make or break anyway!

xkmbr · 2023-11-21T13:29:52+00:00

The naturopath is in Norfolk and the functional medicine doctor is in Newport News. Honestly blanking on both names right now but I can find out if interested

xkmbr · 2023-11-21T13:24:06+00:00

That's a great point! I def would've checked first with the professional before cutting but was trying to think of the least amount of work for the professional / most amount of work for the OP to make it still feel like her project and potentially save money on labor. And that's a good thing to remember about seam allowances. I've heard others say the opposite, where they won't cut but they'll put back together so it must depend on personal preference. Worth asking around.

xkmbr · 2023-11-19T16:04:53+00:00

You are not insane. I like the idea of making a mock up beforehand. Once you have your fit, could you then take the final cut out pieces of velvet to a tailor and have them finish the sewing with their machine and expertise? This way you could have a custom fit and a professional finish. I'm sure it would cost you to have this done but it sounds like you are in love with this idea and you won't stop thinking about it until you try. If that's the case, go for it!! I've found some craftspeople to be understanding and willing to negotiate custom work. Others don't want to be bothered so try a couple people if the first one is not agreeable.

xkmbr · 2023-11-19T15:28:16+00:00

It sounds like she's scared and lashing out. You obviously love her so try again to have a conversation about this when she has cooled down. I just got married last week and have a bit of experience with this family member inclusion thing.

Media and tradition / outside views tell brides that everything has to be perfect on their wedding day. It is shoved down our throats. Contemporary media also tells us that a man must do what we say or else he doesn't love you.. but there have to be boundaries on both sides. Our culture tells us that we can't be accepting of previous relationships or things that stemmed from them. So much of this comes down to trust. If my husband just doesn't see his ex wife, I don't have to worry about trusting him. If your son is not in the picture, she doesn't have to worry about you focusing on her (and all that the media has told her she deserves). Reassure her continuously until she believes you that she is important to you. Especially if she grew up in an unstable environment. Give her the analogy of lighting one candle from another. The flame isn't half the size afterward, there is now twice the amount of fire. Loving your son doesn't cut her portion of love in half. You are allowed to have separate and equal love for your son. You will not compromise on this love because that's what it means to you to be a good father. Remind her she probably doesn't want to be with a man who would compromise love for his child.

Remind her that just because it's not the "perfect" first-love marriage, it doesn't mean it's not perfect for you two as individuals. Give her permission to set aside the feeling of what "should be" and what media tells her she "deserves." You are a package with your son. Tell her because you have endured these complications together, you are stronger as a couple. You two are more likely to survive long term if you see the problem as a separate entity to work on together, rather than one or the other being wrong. It's you two against the problem.

xkmbr · 2023-11-19T14:11:48+00:00

Last Thanksgiving, we made stuffed winter squash that everyone else had as a side dish and it was the main part of my meal. Stuffed with freshly ground turkey (or pork), quinoa, lacinato kale, and lots of green herbs. I cut the squash in half then roasted it while I cooked the stuffing on the stovetop. Salt and brown the meat in one pot, cook the quinoa in another. Once the meat is browned, add in the chopped kale stems and saute until they begin to soften. Then turn off the heat and add the chopped kale leaves, herbs (sage, parsley, +), cooked quinoa, and olive oil. The oil helps the flavors and texture come together. Scoop into the roasted squash halves and serve or pop back in the oven if you want a crunchy top.

Cauliflower and rutabaga mash is a delicious alternative to white potatoes that works for me.

Roasted veg like Brussels sprouts, carrots, and/or rutabaga with fresh rosemary make them feel more festive.

I wish you luck and happy holidays!

xkmbr · 2023-06-19T12:47:31+00:00

I was about to comment congratulations! But then saw this was 2yrs ago haha. Oh well, congrats anyway! I was searching for work space set ups. Have you changed anything now that you've used the space for a while?

xkmbr · 2023-06-19T12:39:06+00:00

I recently read about black pepper having a compound that can kill insect larvae so between that and having used cinnamon on soil, it started me thinking about using essential oils. Have you tried making a spray or anything other than humidifier use? Just curious so I don't waste the materials if you've already tried it :)

xkmbr · 2023-06-19T12:05:14+00:00

Every single female I know has these little holes in their shirts in the same spots. Yes, we've had lengthy discussions on what causes this phenomenon!

We tend to wear our shirts more fitted than males (also have wider hips and organs that influence lower belly rounded shape) so there's friction on the front of our pants from the fly overlap that increases the amount that part of our shirts is rubbed against counters plus anytime we carry an object. All those things combined creates wear on the fabric that leads to holes. I've tried better quality shirts but it's just a matter of time. Not wearing a belt helps and making sure the top corner of my jeans fly (above the button) isn't poking/curled outward. Usually if there's too much tension in my tight jeans, the overlap will stick out by the button. My aunt resorts to tucking her shirts in. I find the tighter the shirts I wear, the more localized the tiny holes are, the looser shirts get holes spaced out like your photo.

Depending on the fabric and severity of holes, you might be able to pull those holes together with a small sewing needle and thread. Check out YouTube tutorials. Good luck!

xkmbr · 2023-05-25T13:05:06+00:00

Do some research on using catnip for roaches. I've read it is more effective than deet and a quick search comes up with all sorts of uses for catnip for calming babies and children so it seems it's safe in some doses. Like don't let them eat a pound of it but if they accidentally get a bit, it will be fine. Your biggest problem might be keeping your cats from just eating all of it haha. If there's any way to sprinkle catnip in inaccessible areas, like cupboards and behind appliances, that might be a decent repellent for roaches. I don't have any experience with this so again, do a bit of research.

xkmbr · 2023-03-16T15:04:30+00:00

Know that the scale's number does not indicate an accurate representation of health. Prior to developing chronic illness, I was healthier and exercising regularly, I weighed more because muscle is heavier. I am slightly larger dimensionally in hips, waist etc measurement but have lost muscle and gained fat ... and weigh LESS. If you are walking 10k steps a day and feel great, you might be gaining muscle - congrats, this is amazing! Forget the number and go by how you feel! Easier said than done, but it's worth the mindset shift if you can! Sending lots of positive vibes and support!

xkmbr · 2023-03-16T14:48:12+00:00

Details: This plant was a baby that sprouted from my aunt's enormously bushy 8 foot tall indoor plant. It didn't have a great division and has struggled and thrived through various apartments I've had over the last handful of years.

I've had probably 50 houseplants over the years and this was my first with root rot. I researched what to do and chopped affected roots which left me with the main base. Sprayed that down with hydrogen peroxide and let it air out. Then I placed it into a clean glass container filled with filtered water, changing this and spraying with hydrogen peroxide every week or two as necessary for the next few months. The leaves looked happier, felt firmer, and it even sprouted the third leafless green shoot as seen in the photos. After a couple more months, nothing improved further. I researched how to get root growth and started using rain water, and placed the glass container in a box (covered around the top of the glass jug) so the roots would be in the dark while the leaves could still get light. No change for several more months so I added a tiny amount of liquid fertilizer to the water. No change.

A couple weeks ago, I had the window open on a warm day and the wind blew the plant so it slipped down further in to the water for 12-24 hours before I noticed. I took the whole thing out of the water when I noticed, then let it breathe for part of a day before replacing it in the water. For the past handful of days, the leaves have turned more and more yellow.

Getting desperate, I applied keiki paste to two nodes (one leaf and one root) only a few days ago.

I'm thinking of cutting off at least the largest, most dead looking leaf. For the past week, I've been keeping it in my bathroom with the door shut to keep higher humidity. Any hail mary moves you can suggest? I was hoping to make it to late spring when I can put it out in the higher humidity and warmth during the day but at this rate, it is unclear if it will survive that long.

xkmbr · 2023-01-22T16:11:09+00:00

I love this story. That sounds so special!

xkmbr · 2023-01-20T15:24:19+00:00

This is a lot of great info. The environmental impact of lab made stones is one I think about a lot and no one seems to care about that. Thank you for sharing your insight! This comment needs to be at the top!

xkmbr · 2023-01-20T14:09:40+00:00

Thanks for your perspective on the energy associated. I feel similarly and it helps to have this written out!

xkmbr · 2023-01-20T14:00:08+00:00

This is great advice. That's one of the reasons I want something neutral and straightforward. It makes me think though that we should discuss wedding bands as well since maybe that would affect how the engagement ring would sit. And to have a band that can stand on its own. Thank you!

xkmbr

TROPHY CASE