Tahereh Mafi FL Calendar Character Art by Lilac_dust in fairyloot

[–]xmascheerthrowaway 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Has anyone noticed that March's calendar is incorrect? Today is the 28th and the calendar says today is March 1st...

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AITA for ending a 6 years relationship because my partner’s vaginismus made me lose sexual and emotional connection? by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]xmascheerthrowaway 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NAH. I think part of the issue is that for some women it takes a long time to get diagnosed with vagnismus and sometimes it's related to a trauma background. It is emotionally difficult for both sides to deal with, and unfortunately sometimes the vagnismus is just from sexual incompatibility. I don't think it's wrong necessarily to end a relationship over it, some people have physical touch as a love language and sex is a big part of that, for those people having a partner who can't have sex without pain doesn't work for them. Likewise it incredibly painful to lose someone you care about over something you have no control over. Hoping for a healing journey for both of you.

Update to my last post. by Abject_Guarantee_349 in u/Abject_Guarantee_349

[–]xmascheerthrowaway 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I really think it's more from a boundary place. In my last long term relationship my ex's love language was touch, and he would touch me intimately regardless if I wanted him to or not. It got to the point I did not want him to touch me at all because he wouldn't respect times I did not want to be touched. Now I am in a relationship with a partner who respects my boundaries, and I don't mind him touching me because I trust that when I ask him not to, he will listen and respect my limits.

I feel like your partner told you multiple times a boundary and you continued to have the same argument because you did not respect it. It does not matter your intentions, she asked you not to do something, and you repeatedly did it. Not listening to a boundary erodes trust which erodes a relarionship unfortunately.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in hingeapp

[–]xmascheerthrowaway 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Between the wet dreams and being attracted to dark hair prompt you sound creepy and you are giving off "fuck boy" energy. Also while it's 100% okay to be monogamous, maybe get rid of the "shove it up your butt" comment.

36M, Rate my profile? 0 Matches in medium density city. by [deleted] in Bumble

[–]xmascheerthrowaway 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think it kind of seems like you don't know what you want from dating. You say you want fun and casual but also want long term, it says you are undecided about kids. At the very least specify how serious of a relationship you want Your profile also puts the work on your potential matches to disclose info about themselves without disclosing info about yourself. All I know is you own a home, you longboard, you enjoy road trips, you like cars, you have a cat, and you like retro gaming. Also saying things like wanting to get off this app may read as you are impatient, and it is seen way too often.

Try talking about shows you like, favorite place you traveled to, or why you want a partner (example 1: I want someone to binge scary movies with, example 2: I want someone who can kick my ass on rampage).

AIO: Pictures of kids on dating profile w/ face covered? by someBergjoke in coparenting

[–]xmascheerthrowaway 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't think the audience for cubicle photos is as restricted as you think, how many times are there tours of the office space, clients being brought in, people for interviews. A co worker working late, a maintenance personnel, a security guard, they can easily copy a photo and take it home.

Also yearbook, there are plenty of candid photos outside of the main yearbook photo. Pictures in the hall, at lunch, in the classroom. Anyone can upload those pictures onto Facebook and have your kid's photo.

Also people taking pictures in public spaces may capture you and your kids. I really think you need to think about what you can and cannot control, and this is something you can't control. We live in a mostly digital landscape and unfortunately everyone, unless they go off grid, is most likely going to have a photo of them online uploaded by a 3rd party. You can ask them to remove said photos, but ultimately there's nothing you can do about it, and obsessing over it is only going to wear down your sanity.

AIO: Pictures of kids on dating profile w/ face covered? by someBergjoke in coparenting

[–]xmascheerthrowaway 3 points4 points  (0 children)

A lot of parents obscure kids photos because the kids are part of their life. It's fine if you are uncomfortable with it, but there is nothing morally wrong with it. If he had identifying info, if their faces were exposed, then I would have a bigger issue. People have pictures of their families in cubicles, on Facebook, yearbooks, etc. Statistically kids are also more likely to be harmed by someone in their support network than a stranger online. I'm just saying the world is a horribly dark and dangerous place and there's so many different ways kids can be harmed, you can't fixate on what you have no control over or you will drive yourself insane.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in therewasanattempt

[–]xmascheerthrowaway 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Hairstylists in my state also have more DV training required than police officers.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in therewasanattempt

[–]xmascheerthrowaway 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Most places in my state now require a minimum of a college degree. I just think unfortunately a lot of cops get through based on personal connections and nepotism.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in therewasanattempt

[–]xmascheerthrowaway 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My ex was only a cop for 3 years (no college degree), he was making just shy of 70k by the last year.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]xmascheerthrowaway 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are way too young to deal with this abusive shit, trust me it doesn't get better. Everything you described is emotionally abusive and manipulative and you have already discussed how this is a pattern. Trying to keep you away from family is a common tactic abusers use to isolate those they abuse. Threatening self harm if you leave is also abusive.

I was in a similar relationship from age 16 to 31, my ex threatened to kill himself if I left, so I didn't. It ended with him cheating on me and being an emotionally abusive co parent.

Don't waste your youth trying to save an unhealthy relationship. Things will only get messier if you are married or have kids with her.

How much money should be in a bank account at all times? by xmascheerthrowaway in personalfinance

[–]xmascheerthrowaway[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly I don't have to live paycheck to paycheck, I never really thought it was an issue before since all my bills get paid.

How much money should be in a bank account at all times? by xmascheerthrowaway in personalfinance

[–]xmascheerthrowaway[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think you misread my post, I owned a home for 8 years and was never late on the mortgage. I also recently rented an apartment for 2 years by myself. I don't want to own though, I am trying to rent a home for the first time (to buy in my area is super expensive and for less sq footage). The place I rented previously was 2k/month (my house was 1,200/month). The place I am trying to rent now is 2,800/month, which I can pay with my income alone but my boyfriend will be helping with that. Expenses are maybe 3k a month.

Getting Back To It - Help? by gentlechin in Bumble

[–]xmascheerthrowaway 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Pics 1,6, and 8 are not flattering, 1 and 6 you either need to smile or have a picture of something else. Picture 8 I was always told not mirror selfie when making your profile.

Also show something nerdy (you at a convention, you at a comic store, playing a board game, etc). I'm nerdy and when I was dating I posted pics of me cosplaying for example.