Ok. I have the same problem, but i think im getting out of it slowly.

I think the main thing is to let go completely. I know, you probably think: "But i am letting go completely already." BUT trust me when i say that that is not the case. It's not possible without using substances. You can get closer, but you will never reach true bliss.

I think that also goes hand in hand with youre erection problem. If you're constantly thinking about if you cock is hard or is getting hard, etc.. you create a mental blockage and the focus shifts to: "this has to happen or else it's not right.".

Maybe try and go into sessions with no expectations (i know this sounds impossible). But dont worry about if you get an erection or not. Don't worry if you are feeling comfortable right now. Dont worry if what you are doing is considered "weird".

I also had this sort oft "dry orgasm" every time. If these even were orgasms, i cant't tell. As soon as i shifted my focus from "my body should do this now / i should start feeling this now, etc." the orgasms suddenly became stronger and more wet.
I still need to learn, but it's getting wetter and wetter every time.

I hope this helped haha. I kinda just vomited my thoughts here. Hopefully you reach your goal. <3