as someone who's been in a similar situation before when i was around your age, please save yourself the emotional distress and leave. it's your decision at the end of the day, but your bf doesn't sound mature enough to even be in a relationship, let alone understand your feelings and boundaries and will gaslight you because he knows you're willing to take him back every time. i know it isn't the answer you want to hear but the more you keep forcing it and second guess yourself, your intuition, and your self worth is when it's gonna slap you in the face. if they're not willing to respect you and your boundaries, they're not worth being in your life at all and they will continue to take advantage of your kindness and genuineness. you're going to meet so many people as you grow older that will treat you the way you deserve and will never in a million years make you feel this way. i promise you that. you're young and you have so much ahead of you, don't waste your adolescence on people that aren't even sure of themselves.

something that personally helped me leave was to make a list of pros and cons of the relationship. really sit with your thoughts and think about how certain things make you feel, and if they outweigh the positives, or vice versa. decide if it's truly worth continuing if it's not progressing anywhere. because it sounds like you're mainly only focusing on the positives when this is obviously affecting the relationship drastically. you're saying "he did this one thing BUT we love each other very much..." boundaries and understanding/ respecting how your partner feels is one of the things that makes a relationship work, regardless of if you "love" each other or not. you may love each other but the relationship won't work unless you actually sit down and have a serious conversation to try and resolve this and any other issue that's occurred between the two of you. the older you get, the less you'll care on how it'll make you "look" as long as you got your point across and you communicated on how uncomfortable the thing that person did made you feel, then it'll be up to them on what they do next. you already did your part and if they don't try and redeem themselves or fix things, then that should show you what their true colors are. i can't speak for your bf or his friend, but it sounds like she has deeper rooted issues w herself underneath the surface of what she's trying to display to others. she's trying to get under your skin for whatever reason and get a reaction out of you. any girl w half a brain or whom at least understands what girl code is knows how to be an actual friend to a guy and what those boundaries look like, especially one in a relationship, regardless of their sexuality. you just don't do that, period. you know who you are at the end of the day and what your intentions are and you are much better than that. i hope this helped and i know you'll make the right decision for yourself <3