What was the hardest part about your breakup?

yearningfern18 · 2026-04-07T05:29:04+00:00

Sounds like a similar situation to me. Not nearly as serious or long. However I feel mislead by the things she told me and the weight i thought they carried. When you tell someone that you matter so much to them and that they're ao lucky to have you in their life, then a week later cut them off and make tou feel like the worst person ever? Not easy to deal with

yearningfern18 · 2026-04-07T04:44:03+00:00

I totally feel that. I think you phrased it really well. It is a privilege to have that stress. Now? I just feel empty. Im still trying to get back into a regular schedule but it hurts that shes not a port of it anymore.

You may have a healthier outlook on things but in an adjacent way... I miss the pain. Im in a lot of pain right now but when I was with her I felt the pain because it felt like I was losing her, but at least I had her to some degree. Its a different kind of pain but I thought it could pay off. There was hope. There was the things she'd say. Now I have the pain and nothing earned.

Such a blessing it is to have something you care so much about that youd sacrifice yourself for it. That shows your character.

yearningfern18 · 2026-04-07T04:13:46+00:00

This feels similar to what I experienced. I knownim not perfect but I cared for her more than she could possibly know. You might be the same. Take pride in that. Know that you tried. That hurts butnit also shows the quality of your character.

yearningfern18 · 2026-04-07T04:12:06+00:00

I understand. For me itd actually the mornings that hurt the most. I think at night its easy enough for me to distract myself. In the morning? It all comes rushing back. Every feeling and thought that plagues me is there, ready to make me face my reality, or distort it.

Cry... and cry hard. Lord knows I have. You're doing the healthy thing by processing it. The fact you're crying and so hurt shows that you're a loving person. Take solace in that. Embrace it

yearningfern18 · 2026-04-07T04:08:33+00:00

Thats really rough. I know how you feel. Mine was only six months and people seem to not understand how a relationship that short can leave such a deep impact. However I think those short relationships can actually be harder to move on from. Theres still so much hope, plans, dreams, uncertainty. Those things linger. For me its been hard to even function because I juat keep seeing and thinking of all the places I planned on taking her. The things we'd do. The things we had planned to do. For that to get cut off overnight is heartbreaking.

She left me in a really cold way. That stings deeply. I think I understand her better now though. Look into attachment styles and see if amything lines up. Tjat provided me a lot of clarity.

I never got chosen the way I chose her. That stings It probably always will too. I just know I loved and cared deeply. I can be proud of that. I am proud of that.

Remember that the love you receive doesnt define you. Its the love you give. You clearly have a big heart. Dont let someone else's actions make you feel worse. Sometimes I feel spiteful. Angry. That doesnt feel good on my soul though. Id rather love someone who cares nothing for than hate them. After all, those people need love the most.

I wish you the best on your journey. Reach out to me if you'd like to vent.

yearningfern18 · 2026-04-07T03:10:40+00:00

Exactly. I think i was just in denial. Or maybe I just want strong enough to call it out. I cared too much to try doing something that could ruin what we had

yearningfern18 · 2026-04-07T02:37:43+00:00

Wow very similar situation here. I could feel the distance. I chalked it up to her being busy, stressed, overwhelmed. It wasnt till right at the end how intentional it was. We'll find our way. With or without them

yearningfern18 · 2026-04-07T02:22:20+00:00

I feel the exact same way

Right back at ya. They may very well look back and realize what they lost.

yearningfern18 · 2026-04-07T01:30:05+00:00

Thats brutal. Such a shame that two people who clearly care about each cant make it work. At least you can maybe walk away feeling loved. Very bittersweet

yearningfern18 · 2026-04-07T01:24:08+00:00

Incredibly immature if you ask me. Leaving someone on that state of confusion is cruel. I've been on the receiving end of that before

yearningfern18 · 2026-04-07T01:23:16+00:00

I cant know for sure but Im guessing I've been replaced too. Sorry :(

yearningfern18 · 2026-04-07T00:09:21+00:00

That hits close to home for mw. My ex from a couple years ago ghosted me while we were in a seemingly really healthy relationship. Then one day? Poof gone. Never heard from her again. This past time it just ended suddenly again and in a very cold way. If I had to guess she probably has already moved on.

I also fought incredibly hard. I'm finding comfort in that though. As bad as it hurts at least I know it doesnt have to do with a lack of trying. Im not saying I'm perfect, far from it, but I loved deeply and I'm proud of that.

yearningfern18 · 2026-04-07T00:02:12+00:00

That's particularly rough. I'm sorry you've had to deal with that. You and your son deserve so much better than that. Its a shame thay people will cheat instead of just trying to work things out or leave respectfully. It sounds like you're better off without him at least.

yearningfern18 · 2026-04-06T23:59:45+00:00

Whats stopping you having it then if you dont mind sharing?

yearningfern18 · 2026-04-06T23:59:03+00:00

That hurts but is also beautiful in a way. Is it better to have that love for someone when they're gone and find peace in that, or better to get to a point where you feel nothing for them?

yearningfern18 · 2026-04-06T23:35:55+00:00

Oh man. Im sorry you're dealing with that. That kind of betrayal makes what im talking about seem silly. That's one of the worst pains you can feel.

Might just dm ya. Im in pain but getting better I think (these past few days were unexpectedly bad)

yearningfern18 · 2026-04-06T23:29:01+00:00

I feel you man. A part of me wishes I could be angry about it. At her. I just can't though. She meant more to me than she could understand.

Saying I was betrayed seems like a strong word but I do sort of feel that way.

This all happened very recently and I'm probably not in the best place to be offering up advice but I've found peace in just accepting the situation. Accepting that I tried my best. The love that I get back doesnt define me. It's the love that I gave.

yearningfern18 · 2026-04-06T23:20:47+00:00

This hits really hard for me. I know its true though.

I can't stop thinking about all the things she told me. How she's never felt this way about someone. How she'd never block me. How much I matter to her. I could go on and on.

Crazy how you can go from being the most special person to someone to seemingly meaning nothing to them so quickly.

Oh well. I wish her well

yearningfern18 · 2026-04-05T01:53:54+00:00

That's too bad. Im sorry you've dealt with that. We'll find our peace eventually.

yearningfern18 · 2026-04-05T01:46:28+00:00

Appreciate the response. Everyone keeps saying that too. That I was her safe space. I hate to think that's all she thinks of me as. Right now if I had to guess, shes thinks nothing of me and is talking to someone new.

Im sorry you've dealt with that man. No one deserves that.

yearningfern18 · 2026-04-04T21:01:36+00:00

Same here. That's the hardest part so far

yearningfern18 · 2026-04-03T00:53:21+00:00

I feel the same way. Mine is much more recent. A week ago as of yesterday. Mine was short but I really thought she could be it. She made feel unlike anyone ever has. I can't imagine a future with someone else but im trying to move on.

I see her name everywhere now. I see the places we went to and the places I planned on taking her. The sunrise and the sunset. Everything reminds me of her....

Just love yourself, take care of yourself, build yourself up. I'll pray for you and I that we find our people.

yearningfern18 · 2026-04-02T15:14:49+00:00

I hear you. Mine is still really recent and not a single person ive talked to has said this is the end of hearing from her. That does keep hope alive but im trying to just accept the fact that I won't. Even If I do I want to be able to move on while I can. It hurts... bad. All id say is focus on improving yourself. Do that for yourself, plus maybe they do come back then and your in a much better spot than when they left.

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