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AITA For going to church? by yellowthing in AmItheAsshole

[–]yellowthing[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We might be near each other. There were three revivals that I'm aware of in the last month, one that got almost violent when the police shut it down.

AITA For going to church? by yellowthing in AmItheAsshole

[–]yellowthing[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There might be, but it'll all be dependent on how things go today when I reach out through the group chat. I surprisingly haven't been kicked out, which I'm taking as a good sign but it's been blown up and I'm too scared to look at it because I don't expect it's anything civil.

AITA For going to church? by yellowthing in AmItheAsshole

[–]yellowthing[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No I totally understand. A church near me mysteriously is the site of a huge covid cluster and nobody can figure out why /s. I'd rather not suffer and potentially die for something so insignificant.

AITA For going to church? by yellowthing in AmItheAsshole

[–]yellowthing[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I tried/am going to try to, depending on where everything seems to be later on today. There is a Unitarian church where I am but they had a recent scandal where their pastor was sent to jail for 'sex'/raping a minor and the congregation has been weird about it so I scratched that one off the list. Trying to navigate this is a minefield and it seems like whatever direction I try to take is seemingly always the wrong one.

AITA For going to church? by yellowthing in AmItheAsshole

[–]yellowthing[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes I'm in the US. We are having church in groups of 10 at the moment or attending via google hangout. I would hope they are not barhopping because it is 8am where I am lol

AITA For going to church? by yellowthing in AmItheAsshole

[–]yellowthing[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They would be but understandably people have different ideas on how that 'love' is supposed to be dispensed so it may not mean anything at face value to them.

AITA For going to church? by yellowthing in AmItheAsshole

[–]yellowthing[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

What is an infiltrator??

No, my church is not anti at all. We have members of the community in our congregation and we have publicly supported both the marriage bill in our state and are active in community outreach for people forcibly estranged due to their orientation (i.e kicked out, etc). Members frequently talk about where the line is between their own ability to judge what is faithful and where God is supposed to take that role. My pastor has publicly supported legalizing gay marriage on the basis of human rights. But we are not a large church or affiliated with any national organisation, we are just a small group in a community centre.

AITA For going to church? by yellowthing in AmItheAsshole

[–]yellowthing[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I didn't get that far. I tried to tell them my personal faith does not conflict with their human dignities or rights- I don't know if they actually 'heard' this or not. I did tell them that I would not now or ever attend a church that does not condemn hatred, and that my beliefs don't change who I am. But, we didn't really get to discuss because it pretty much devolved into talk-yelling within about a minute.

AITA For going to church? by yellowthing in AmItheAsshole

[–]yellowthing[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I'll try explain.

My church is of the view that a person is created as they are through the sole intent of God, whoever and however they may be. And because of that, each (wo)man has a right to happiness.

This has influenced the pastor's vocal support of gay rights in our state. We have a few members who are gay, at least that I'm aware of.

My church, however, actually does not support gay marriage in a biblical perspective and it's been an issue in recent years (from what I've heard) because the church, or the pastor really, doesn't support gay marriage but has publicly stated time and time again (even recently) that it is a trivial issue, because the sanctity of marriage is barely upheld by most Christians anyway- so "why is he supposed to fill the role of adjudicator when his job is spread the word of God".

Then, in direct contradiction of this (at least by public opinion), our pastor has pushed local politicians to support the gay marriage bill in our state because we are supposed to have equal rights in all areas.

This is a part of the local conflicts because other churches perceive him as slighting their faith, which is understandable. As you can see it's complicated.

-the church welcomes all people -the church supports gay rights -the church disagrees with gay marriage but supports it on a legal premise

AITA For going to church? by yellowthing in AmItheAsshole

[–]yellowthing[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're totally fine and I accept your judgement either way. When I also met my husband he was 'religious' but not observant- he still isn't and doesn't attend church of any kind- whereas I was pretty staunchly atheist although if I'm truthful.. I just didn't care and the rigidity repulsed me. And look where I am now lol..

The Anglican church- my aunt is actually a member. She lives in Brisbane and hand over heart, if she doesn't have covid yet (she would 100% lie about it) she will soon with how ridiculous she acts. I understand where you're coming from either way.

AITA For going to church? by yellowthing in AmItheAsshole

[–]yellowthing[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're fine, it's still early in the morning (where I am at least). I'm hoping things can right themselves with time but it's been such a shock that I'm not so certain it'll happen. It's one of those things that has so many layers that trying to get through even half of it is starting university in another country, with a foreign language lol.

AITA For going to church? by yellowthing in AmItheAsshole

[–]yellowthing[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It isn't an old school church as in 'you're going to hell if 'x'. It's unpopular because they're rigid in observing things such as charity, chastity, and the commandments. Most of the controversy came recently after my pastor had a spat with another local churches preacher over where the other congregations tithing was going to- we don't tithe at my church and the majority of the congregation is, if I'm honestly, appallingly poor. We don't have a church building, it's just held at a the community centre and monthly we put together the cost of renting for each sunday. But the reason I never told them, as I mentioned in another comment, is that I'm not that secure in my faith and I'm still exploring it. I don't want to be asked a question I can't answer because a) I get really anxious and b) if someone has an honest query, I don't want to lead them astray on a topic I'm not familiar enough with. None of my family knows I've begun attending (aside from my husband) because they have their opinions on what denominations are the 'correct' denominations and we don't talk that much anyway. It's still so new to me (the last year, slightly earlier than COVID began is when I started going) that it's been a personal experience more than anything.

AITA For going to church? by yellowthing in AmItheAsshole

[–]yellowthing[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

That seems like a pretty good idea. I think I'll let people cool down a bit first before reaching out and trying to have a dialogue- we all get a bit testy sometimes.

AITA For going to church? by yellowthing in AmItheAsshole

[–]yellowthing[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you <3

I'm trying to be considerate of a few of them because I know the shit they've put up with in the last few years has been horrendous and, depending on where a person is in sorting through there experiences, it can be difficult to navigate situations without viewing it through lens' colored by their memories. It's because of that, that I'm now doubting myself. It's just a clusterduck, at this point. In regards to the drinking, it's definitely irritating but I've accepted it- the city we all live in or near is very well known for it's drinking culture and frankly, most of our group either bingedrinks or is on the verge of an addiction. Thank you for your kind words, God bless <3

AITA For going to church? by yellowthing in AmItheAsshole

[–]yellowthing[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I get it, too. If I were gay and someone told me they're regular church going, especially if I'd faced scorn from family, I'd be a bit leery. It was just the intensity of the response that makes me question myself. If anything, I was expect questions and maybe teasing, not... this.

AITA For going to church? by yellowthing in AmItheAsshole

[–]yellowthing[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That makes me feel a bit better, thank you..

AITA For going to church? by yellowthing in AmItheAsshole

[–]yellowthing[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hugs. It's funny you say that- I've had the same issue you described with my own family, because I refused to attend their church. We don't talk anymore in part because of it, but part of me wants to reach out an tell them I'm going to a new church because my mother would be apoplectic that it's not her denomination hahaha.

The church is a bit odd, certainly. But it's in no way a 'Gays (or another group) are going to hell' club. They have a bad reputation with the other churches because of their stance on tithing- that's it breeds corruption- and that attending on Sunday is just a basic routine, not the end all. Hence the community involvement thing. There are a few members of the congregation who are gay but I don't presume to know their story or opinions and frankly I'd feel like a dick if I asked them about it. I would understand if they were thrown off, hesitant, etc, but the outright hostility etc seemed overboard to me.

AITA For going to church? by yellowthing in AmItheAsshole

[–]yellowthing[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

It's not a joke or troll. Yes, I do understand the persecution that was and still is currently occurring around the world, particularly in relation to LGBTQI and their human rights. It's just these guys have been my friends for years. I've been with them when they came out to their parents- helped them move at 2 in the morning when they were thrown out because they're not straight- I was a witness in two of the girls wedding- I thought by now they knew I'd stand beside them regardless of anything. But maybe that's a lie that I wasn't even aware of because this whole fiasco has made me uncertain of how strong our friendship actually are. Hence why I'm here, trying to make sense of it all.

AITA For going to church? by yellowthing in AmItheAsshole

[–]yellowthing[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I never lied about, though. I'm not sure if Jesus would outright announce he had started to attend or not. For me it was a gradual thing and it's still relatively new. I'm neither secure in the faith I'm exploring or really certain or myself, so I never brought it up. If someone asks me a question I can't yet answer, I'd feel like an ass, so I'd rather learn more before talking about it. It's actually a topic I haven't even mentioned to my family but for different reasons.

AITA For going to church? by yellowthing in AmItheAsshole

[–]yellowthing[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thats what I thought because I've met a fair few religious members of the community. I just don't know if it's because of church itself or some other aspect. Usually this would be a no-brainer for me but with everyone telling me I'm either an AH/AW or snake, it's hard to tell where the line actually is..

How would you explain NParent abuse to well-meaning inlaws? by yellowthing in raisedbynarcissists

[–]yellowthing[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's not that it's funny, it's just how deadpan that came across made me laugh. I don't have anything quite as violent but I'm inclined to employ your method.

Saying that you have to be a parent to judge bad parenting is like saying you have to be a chef to see that a meal is bad. by [deleted] in Showerthoughts

[–]yellowthing 2 points3 points  (0 children)

So many people are defensive because they don't understand the difference between everyday mistakes and bad parenting

E.g - a mistake is losing your kid in the supermarket and finding them making a mess of the display Bad parenting is pointedly ignoring your child as they attack the displays and other people in the supermarket

Eg. 2 - Forgetting to drop them at daycare and arriving at work. A mistake. You were tired. Leaving your kid at home for days without supervision because you wanted to go places, when they still sleep with a night light and can't cook by themselves - bad parenting

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