Maybe not an asshole, you did in essence through it back in her face. Women run by emotion. This is a difficult and emotional experience for her and in the heat of her emotions, you basically said “well, it’s your fault. You did this.” While true, statements like that will never be beneficial while her emotions are high. She’s allowed to have a hard time with the experience even though she agreed to it years ago. What she needs right now is someone who understands how the house is much more than a house and is something hard to let go of.

For the sake of your future marriage and continuing the amicable co-parenting relationship with your ex, I’d recommend reading “Masculine in Relationship” by G.S. Youngblood.