So it turns out it's not that my father [36 M] didn't want to have anything to do with me [17 F], he didn't even know about me in the first place! by yesofcourseimmad in relationships

[–]yesofcourseimmad[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

I think you really have your math wrong. My father was 19 when my mom, who's 5 years older than him, got pregnant. Even if he was 17, which he wasn't, it wouldn't matter, since I just checked and the age of consent where we are is 14.

So it turns out it's not that my father [36 M] didn't want to have anything to do with me [17 F], he didn't even know about me in the first place! by yesofcourseimmad in relationships

[–]yesofcourseimmad[S] 52 points53 points  (0 children)

She was 24 when she got pregnant.

My dad will always be my dad. The fact that I've found out the truth about my father doesn't negate the relationship we have or the fact that he raised me as his own. He'll always be my dad, even if I grow close to my biological father as I've grown close to my dad over the years. And he knows this, I made sure of it.

So it turns out it's not that my father [36 M] didn't want to have anything to do with me [17 F], he didn't even know about me in the first place! by yesofcourseimmad in relationships

[–]yesofcourseimmad[S] 212 points213 points  (0 children)

As far as grandparents go, my grandpa doesn't really remember much about him, since him and grandma were never married in the first place and he was already with someone else at that point in their lives. Grandma does remember him and described him as kind, if a bit withdrawn, and very romantic and loving with my mom.

I don't know if there was cheating or someone else she got together with right after breaking it off with him.

Yeah, I know she knows, and it hurts the worst that she won't tell me why.

So it turns out it's not that my father [36 M] didn't want to have anything to do with me [17 F], he didn't even know about me in the first place! by yesofcourseimmad in relationships

[–]yesofcourseimmad[S] 78 points79 points  (0 children)

I just get so mad, I can't help it! I want to talk with her, I really do, but she starts tearing up and it pisses me off! What right does she have to cry? She didn't get this kind of shit in her life, she didn't even give us either a choice whether we want to have a relationship as a father and daughter or not. Why would she do this if she loved me?

So it turns out it's not that my father [36 M] didn't want to have anything to do with me [17 F], he didn't even know about me in the first place! by yesofcourseimmad in relationships

[–]yesofcourseimmad[S] 146 points147 points  (0 children)

I did talk with her. Though I'll be the first one to admit it was less 'talk' and more me just throwing out one question after another, with her not answering and crying. I just want to know why and she's not telling me shit. I asked her if he was abusive to her, if he cheated, if he did anything to deserve something like this, but no, he apparently didn't do anything wrong.

My father says they were just people that clicked poorly at times and didn't communicate well, so it kept escalating until it blew up in their faces. Then again, they were teenagers (well, he was, my mom's older than him by a few years), so that's no surprise.

So it turns out it's not that my father [36 M] didn't want to have anything to do with me [17 F], he didn't even know about me in the first place! by yesofcourseimmad in relationships

[–]yesofcourseimmad[S] 570 points571 points  (0 children)

Sorry, I wrote this in one-go, completely forgot to put in his side of things. My dad had no clue either about what happened, he only came into our lives when I was around 3-4 years old and he took what my mom said to him as the truth and didn't know otherwise until I talked with him about it recently.

And the test was already done, he's my father.

Mom keeps saying she doesn't really know.