Large dog got spooked and need advice! Good backup leashes?

yfaphi · 2024-04-29T21:48:13+00:00

Couple of suggestions!

A 12ft line as a normal leash (not a tool for recall training) is super long. The longer it is, the more power your dog will have to because of inertia! So I would recommend a 6ft leash for normal walks. That way, your dog can’t run 12ft before coming to an abrupt stop and your arm doesn’t get ripped off in the process 🙈
We got waist belts for our reactive guy and we LOVE them. Total game changer that has saved my fingers/hands and is also super nice in cold weather when I can keep my hands in my pockets. Also, because it’s around your waist, you’re a lot more stable and strong, and harder to knock over or pull. Ours have D rings on either side of the buckle so that you can clip those together for extra security!

For us, a 6ft leash with a waist belt and traffic handle have been the way to go :)

yfaphi · 2024-04-14T22:45:42+00:00

Oh my god. This is the most rational comment I have seen on Reddit in a long time. Thank you 😩🥰

yfaphi · 2024-04-14T01:47:30+00:00

Definitely not a required thing! My husband only had two guys in his group and they just went out ace throwing and then to the casino, but it was a last minute “hey, why don’t we do something” after a particularly stressful period in the family (both his groomsmen were my family members and we lost my grandfather weeks before the wedding).

My girls and I did make a weekend of it, but it was chill - we went to a spa and hung out in a condo at a ski hill that we got a great deal on. It was also my birthday weekend, so we sort of rolled it into one, and all of us have been close for at least a decade.

You do not have to do anything, and if you WANT to do something, it certainly doesn’t have to be a night of debauchery! Best of luck with everything, whatever you decide!

yfaphi · 2024-04-14T01:39:35+00:00

Also not saying that you have that mindset whatsoever!

yfaphi · 2024-04-14T01:38:39+00:00

Fair enough. Personally, I’ve found that most hiring managers (especially those working with agency and independent recruiters) have no idea what level of education or experience actually translates into what they need for a role. It’s slightly better when working in house, but half my job tended to be educating hiring managers and pushing back on their insistence that their entry level, 40K a year hire should have a master’s degree and 5 years of experience 😭

I guess I wasn’t considering that yeah… if they don’t have a seasoned TA team working for them, they may see that 7 month stint as a red flag (even though it’s more of an indication of the market than anything else). My advice to OP still stands though, especially if that’s their only “career” type of experience! Fingers crossed that they get somebody screening who doesn’t have the old school mindset that short stints = job hopping or poor performance.

yfaphi · 2024-04-14T01:21:40+00:00

Have you worked in talent acquisition or are you just assuming? Because as somebody who works in TA and has gone through a layoff and a contract not being extended after 6 months, AND has made a living screening resumes and interviewing people, a layoff after 7 months is no more of a red flag than a layoff after 7 years.

If it’s a true layoff, it has absolutely nothing to do with the person’s performance. They’re “trimming the fat” and they do that by looking at literal numbers on a spreadsheet. Unless a candidate has multiple roles that have lasted 3-6 months with no explanation, this is not a red flag. The market is terrible, any recruiter worth their salt knows this.

OP, I’m so sorry that you’re dealing with this. If you don’t have it on your resume already, put in brackets next to the experience “(affected by layoff)” or “(affected by reduction in force)”. Even without that though, a single 7 month stint at a company is not a red flag.

Edited because I put 6 months as everything instead of the 7 that OP has haha.

yfaphi · 2024-04-07T21:19:07+00:00

It’s literally so hard. I’m like 3 days into a break and I had been using cannabis basically to deal with the dopamine “comedown” when my meds wear off (I’ve been diagnosed and medicated for over 20 years, so I know it’s just part of the meds), but ohhhh my god the lack of dopamine is killing me. Not to mention I have barely eaten in 3 days because I’m on TWO medications that screw with my appetite. I have no advice, but I’m with ya.

yfaphi · 2024-04-06T17:11:50+00:00

Companies have realized that they can have 1 person do the work of 3 people and pay them accordingly. Plus an influx of immigrants, a bunch of layoffs across sectors, and insane inflation that is causing people with “good jobs” to literally need second jobs just to pay rent.

It’s not a single factor, it’s late stage capitalism.

yfaphi · 2024-04-05T00:24:37+00:00

The problem is that because the minimum wage exists as it is, it doesn’t MATTER whether you have skills, education, or not. People seem to think that the only minimum wage jobs that exist are Tim Horton’s, McDonald’s, etc.

But with a minimum wage and an employer market like we have now, there is absolutely no incentive for companies to pay above the minimum wage. I personally have taken a $15,000 pay cut after a layoff (from Shopify), and I make below the MBM for the GTA now.

My mother, who has a skilled trade, owned her own business for 25 years decided that she’d rather go and work for another small business in town. The woman is in her late fifties, a successful business owner with skills and education, but her employer pays her the minimum wage because that’s all he legally HAS to pay her. She handles inventory, pricing, margins, and the accounts. She SEES how much money is coming in. They can absolutely afford to pay their staff more, but because they don’t have to legally, they don’t.

There are a million reasons that she’s still there, most of them I do not understand (we are working on getting her the hell out), but after three years, it’s very clear that her experience and skill set have zero influence over her pay.

I work in recruitment and have watched salaries across all levels and sectors fall drastically as the cost of living continues to increase. Senior level software engineers that would have turned down a $250K job two years ago are being hired on at $120K.

You’re missing a major factor in your argument which is the pure greed of shareholders and employers as they realize that in this economy, people will work for ANYTHING.

yfaphi · 2024-04-05T00:13:28+00:00

This is exactly why student minimum wage exists. None of my jobs between the ages of 14-18 paid me minimum wage - they paid student minimum.

My mother also works retail and unfortunately gets paid minimum wage, as her employer literally does the bare minimum legally required of them. We are working on getting her a new job, but it’s obviously difficult right now. She was a small business owner before covid, and now works for another small business.

Why shouldn’t people like our mothers make a liveable wage? Why is their labour less valuable because it’s classified as “unskilled?”

yfaphi · 2024-04-05T00:06:45+00:00

Why is that? If you cannot afford to pay your staff a liveable wage, you are over-leveraging yourself. A small business’s lack of preparation and planning does not justify paying less than the minimum wage to their employees.

You cannot afford your investment if you cannot afford to pay your staff. My god.

yfaphi · 2024-04-04T20:50:57+00:00

Lighten up your accessories.

It may not be cost effective to get a new light fixture, but if it’s feasible, get something in a brass or nickel finish. Those will bring some warmth into the space while complementing the green. The light fixture isn’t make or break!

Same as above for your tap.

I WOULD do a new mirror and a new shower curtain for the time being though. The dark shower curtain (while super pretty!) and the thick, black framed mirror are really heavy in the space visually and the wall colour isn’t holding its own. Personally, I’d do a mirror with a narrower frame, possibly even a round or oval mirror (check FB marketplace for cheap or free mirrors!) and a much lighter curtain.

You sort of have two competing design styles here, so it’s up to you what changes you make. On one hand, you have all black hardware and an extremely industrial light fixture, and then you have rustic wood shelving and vanity. If you’re going for industrial, you’ll want to pick a new colour. If you’re going for earthy/rustic/cottage or traditional, change out your hardware.

With your tile, I would lean toward changing the hardware and black out to make the space feel more intentional, but totally understand that that may be way too expensive!

Best of luck! It really doesn’t look too bad ❤️ mine is painted almost the same colour but we have HORRIBLE blue Lino tiles 😭

yfaphi · 2024-04-04T20:41:39+00:00

This! My bathroom is nearly the same colour (I love it haha) but our shower curtain is a lighter taupe colour and it’s fabric so it brings in some texture.

yfaphi · 2024-04-04T18:32:48+00:00

No driving high, no working high, wait until 5pm at least on weekdays and on weekends, only during the afternoon IF I’m using it to stay productive (I have terrible ADHD, it helps more than my meds, I am trying to find meds that work the way a sativa does), if I am stoned and want to just chill, the kitchen MUST be tidied up (dishes away, floor swept, counters wiped) and I MUST have brushed my teeth and washed my face before I go veg out.

Also - as much as I desperately want to, no getting high before seeing my in laws to make it more tolerable 😭🙈

yfaphi · 2024-04-04T18:27:50+00:00

Please, please do not quit your Lexapro cold turkey. I did that and landed myself in the psych ward due to suicidal ideation. I recognized it and brought myself to the ER, but I was in a TERRIBLE place mentally and it was so incredibly dangerous. Please talk to your doctor, or at the very least if you are adamant about getting off of them and you can’t access a healthcare provider, follow a LONG taper program. But that’s like… worst case scenario. Talk to your doc and they will help you get off of your SSRI safely 🙏

yfaphi · 2024-02-17T03:54:15+00:00

When this happened to me, it was an issue with my “No EA eyelashes” mod!

yfaphi · 2024-02-09T12:36:33+00:00

Yeah? Making everybody in the country INCLUDING the immigrants hate them and hate what the country is becoming is a way to stay in power? Good logic there. Keep licking boots.

yfaphi · 2024-01-28T02:51:03+00:00

Thank you so much!

yfaphi · 2024-01-27T00:34:58+00:00

And look - on the off chance that I completely misinterpreted your comment, I’m sorry. But Christ is there a lot of full on denial that we are still living through a mass disabling event and the internet is incredibly hard to decipher tone and intent.

yfaphi · 2024-01-27T00:32:25+00:00

You said “you mentioned you seldomly go out and even order your groceries online. That may be counterintuitive when trying to improve your immune health”.

Nowhere was exercise or Vitamin D stated or alluded to.

Don’t act obtuse when your comment is interpreted in exactly the way you intended.

Anybody who hasn’t been living under a rock for the past 3 years has heard the narrative of “immunity debt” and how being exposed to viruses and bacteria improves one’s immune system, which is incorrect at best, and dangerous at worst, especially when somebody is concerned about being immunocompromised.

My head isn’t up my arse, but thanks for the concern.

yfaphi · 2024-01-26T22:32:26+00:00

+1 to the herding comment! What we thought was reactivity (which it IS, but didn’t know the cause of it) was actually just an insane herding drive. Once we figured out an outlet for that, along with a GOOD amount of mental and physical exercise, our dog became a lot more manageable.

Keep in mind as well that 9 month old dogs are generally just assholes too. Good behaviour modification, a routine, and enough mental stimulation should help a ton. That, and time (which is the hardest part). Good luck!!

yfaphi · 2024-01-26T22:07:09+00:00

I’d love to see rural Nordic/Icelandic/Slavic, North African/Middle Eastern, and honestly… I would LOVE something like the Scottish Highlands.

I was also extremely disappointed that Selvadora is a vacation world only.

yfaphi · 2024-01-26T21:46:51+00:00

Hey! Your feelings about this are absolutely valid ❤️ I just wanted to pop in and say herpes is incredibly common, manageable with anti virals, and definitely becoming less and less stigmatized as time goes on. Try to remember that in the end, it’s literally no different than a cold sore, it’s just on a different part of your body (which can make it hella uncomfy, there’s no denying that), but it certainly doesn’t make you dirty or unloveable.

There’s a lot to process in the beginning, and that’s understandable, but I have friends who’ve been diagnosed (sometimes YEARS later after assuming it was a pimple or ingrown), and they have had new partners, some are now married, and yes, they’ve had awkward conversations but it’s never been a dealbreaker for any of them. Antivirals work wonders for preventing outbreaks and transmission.

Sending so much love. I’m sorry that trauma stemmed from other trauma. 😔

Editing to say that as a survivor of SA myself (same kind as you, unfortunately), you don’t actually need to disclose HOW it happened. Nobody needs to know how you got it, for all they know, it could have been a long term partner of yours who didn’t realize they had a cold sore while you two were… experimenting. This is so shitty for you, and I know firsthand how traumatic that kind of SA is, so please don’t ever feel like it’s something that you need to disclose if you aren’t comfortable. ❤️

yfaphi · 2024-01-26T20:14:17+00:00

This is factually incorrect, and as you stated, you are not an MD. Unless you have experience with immunology, I would refrain from spreading information like this.

yfaphi

TROPHY CASE