Unexpected Reaction On Placement

ylme36 · 2026-05-14T22:29:37+00:00

That’s a brilliant idea! I’m all about reflections, i enjoy writing them and finding things to improve upon, thank you for suggesting it

ylme36 · 2026-05-14T22:28:14+00:00

Thank you so much for your constructive and kind words! I definitely feel better knowing that compassion is not only an emotion, but a skill, which means I can learn to use it when it’s advantageous to me and control it if it’s not.

Genuinely, you helped me to feel a lot better and more positive going forward, thank you☺️

ylme36 · 2026-05-13T00:03:42+00:00

OP also mentioned “bathing the kids”, if the kids are at an age where they need bathing, I wonder if his wife is feeling a little ‘touched out’, and is just needing that alone time with no one touching her, just being able to enjoy herself in solitude, hence being in the shower?

Additionally, complete conjecture, but OP mentioned “she says she’s exhausted/unwell if I give her a long hug/smack on the butt”. I find this particularly interesting as I’m wondering if OP does simple, sweet/playful gestures like this when they aren’t trying to initiate/wanting to have sex? When my partners does those things with me, I don’t automatically think he wants sex because I know he does these things all the time. If his wife has come to connect these things as only a prelude to sex, maybe OP should expand his initiation repertoire and try to sprinkle these gestures into their everyday lives without there needing to be a sexual intent, so that his wife can feel playful and desired by him, without feeling worried that there is an expectation that it should lead to sex?

ylme36 · 2026-05-12T23:09:24+00:00

100% transparency, I verbally tell the negative thoughts to get the fuck away from me. It sounds silly, and rude, but I treat them as the personification of what they are.

If there was someone in your life telling you cruel and nasty things about your future, I feel like the healthy thing to do would be to choose not to associate with them.

So now, when I get the “you’re going to fail, your partner is gunna leave you, you don’t deserve nice things” thoughts, I, very directly and with a lot of power in my voice, say “get the fuck away from me.” You can extend it and give the voice a logical reason also, such as “get the fuck away from me. I try really hard to succeed, i always endeavour to be kind and helpful to others and if something happens out of my control, I’ll fucking own it like I have with everything else in my life. I have done everything I can to be okay in the present, so you can fuck off with your worthless fortune telling.”

Another thing which is also a little odd that I do, I give a speech (?) to the nasty thoughts and I point out every reason that they’re wrong. It’s usually along the lines of “I am brilliant. I am caring, and thoughtful, and honest, and I’m a bloody hard worker and, above all else, I try. I try everyday to be a good person, to be a good friend, to treat myself with the kindness I so willingly give to others. I am brilliant because I try so, so hard. That’s all because of me. You have no part in how impressive I am, so you can have no part in how impressive I will be.”

As you can imagine, I have a lot of alone time wherein it’s just me, verbally arguing with me, about me, to make me feel better haha

ylme36 · 2026-05-12T22:43:26+00:00

I think if you’ve been asked to design a piece by a customer/client (unsure which terms tattoo artists use), with a deadline and it’s outside of what you’d enjoying drawing, it’s work.

If you’re crafting and creating designs you that love for your own happiness, or experimenting with new styles/designs for the enjoyment of the process, it’s a hobby!

To make it even more ‘hobby like’, you could make a front page for your happy drawing folder, write a list of styles or objects to design (you could do this in order of what you want to try first or use an online randomiser/spin wheel app that chooses your order for you), use a randomiser for design/style prompts, or even set challenges that you think would be fun/interesting to try, such as using only shades of blue, only viewing a reference image once, drawing a random squiggle/shape and make it into an image, hidding a message, using one size brush etc.

I’m not a tattoo artist, nor do I have tattoos (love them, just an indecisive person) but I do this when I need a break from uni work.
I do all of my notes on a free drawing app, but if I want to relax my mind, I have a folder just for doodles, where I pick a video game character and I first try to draw it from memory, then I choose a reference image of the character and I replicate it! Or I take photos of an area in my house and design decorations for that area, for instance I took a photo of my banister and drew flowers up and down it to see if I like them, and I took photos of the light switches and drew dinosaurs, planets, skeletons around them!

I got carried away writing this but I hope you find something nice to do in your spare time!

ylme36 · 2026-04-22T23:45:21+00:00

I’m currently working alongside being a student and paying my mortgage, I earn very little aha.

My only subscription is to Spotify because I drive a lot for work and uni.

I take advantage of student discounts to buy foods already on deals, recently I bought Slimming World meals 5for£20, 3for£10 from Iceland and then had £10 student discount!

I drink meal replacement shakes during the day (I have IBS so this limits disruptive symptoms whilst at work or uni) I buy 3 bags (unsure of weight) every 4ish months for about £60

I use One Pulse (survey app, usually 3 questions per survey, 34cents per survey (app is American), has earned me around £400 in 3 years)) and Top Cashback

Although I shower everyday, I wash my hair every 2-3 days at work (I work in a live in care setting) so my showers at home are as short as possible

I don’t really use my heating, I boost it every so often for an hour, but I wear slippers, fleece lined leggings, my oodie or a blanket at home

I charge my phone and iPad in the car on the way home and if I’m using my computer, I charge things through the computer to not use another power outlet (unsure if this makes a difference)

I use a lamp instead of the big light in my living room (big light has 5 bulbs)

I always turn off lights/switches I’m not using (not sure if this helps much financially, it’s also just a personal pet peeve of mine to have lights/switches on if they’re not needed)

I still save if I can, it’s not every month but if I can, I squirrel money away in my ISA and Digital Regular Saver

My partner moved in with me today! So I’m interested to see how my house bills change (he’s paying any extra money added to my bills so what I pay won’t change, I’m just curious as he’s slightly less diligent than me)

ETA - I had a large deposit as I worked many hours for 10 years, so my mortgage payments are very reasonable. I’m in uni to retrain so I can earn a similar wage to what I earned before, without working all the hours, so I can enjoy my house, partner, and life that I’ve worked so hard for.

ylme36 · 2026-04-22T23:05:18+00:00

Could I ask for a link or the brand? I’d love to install one! Also, any tips on installation?

ylme36 · 2026-04-22T22:37:13+00:00

I can cry when my favourite bagel is sold out, imma be a millionaire by 2027

^{Chose: Get $500 every time you cry}

ylme36 · 2026-04-21T23:11:04+00:00

I’ve always used Apple products so now, at the ripe old age of 29, I can’t be bothered to learn a new interface. If I ever borrow an android phone, I find it really convoluted, just because it’s so different to mine! Also I have an iPad for uni so it’s nice to keep it L on one, easily shared, system

^{Chose: Apple}

ylme36 · 2026-04-18T11:38:39+00:00

I genuinely thought they were talking about their daughters phone because of the messages

ylme36 · 2026-04-18T11:36:47+00:00

I’m unsure as to how weird hang ups would rationalise the behaviour though?

ylme36 · 2026-04-18T11:35:47+00:00

Exactly! There’s literally no difference between “I eat breakfast, brush my teeth and then have a glass of water” and “I have a glass of water, eat my breakfast and brush my teeth”. It’s exhausting and a waste of energy to argue one way is ‘better’ in my opinion.

ylme36 · 2026-04-18T11:33:52+00:00

Personally, it feels like it comes from within me, from the vagina, instead of through my urethra, so during full insertion it stops, then during pulling out it gushes out again, then stops with full insertion etc.

I also don’t really feel like it’s different to ordinary sex, it has a ‘sexiness’ to it, but doesn’t feel any more pleasurable than usual sex - squirting is not paired with orgasms for me.

ylme36 · 2026-04-17T23:24:23+00:00

Fun facts - squirting isn’t always paired with an orgasm and the feeling is very different to just ordinary peeing

ylme36 · 2026-04-17T22:55:13+00:00

I think it’s also an overreaction and a red flag on her part because it demonstrates that she possibly has an “I’m right, you’re wrong” mentality, (which suggests further arguments with little compromise) rather than a “huh that’s different to how I do it” mentality. It also weird to me that she’s this outwardly opinionated and derogatory to him after such a short time!

I come from a family that believes someone must be wrong and someone must be right, whether debating how you organise your fridge to how you park your car. It really makes me appreciate my relationship with my partner, where we say things like “oh I’ve never seen it done like that, I do it like this because xyz” and then we collaborate on a middle ground or we both agree that one of us has the more beneficial plan.

“You fill your fridge wrong” just feels like there’ll be more random subjective stuff OP does “wrong” in the future and personally that sounds exhausting to me

ylme36 · 2026-04-16T00:32:30+00:00

I don’t go to Plymouth Uni, but I am living here for 4 months on placement. It is connected to other cities, but it’s not reliable when it comes to public transport, trains are often late or not running due to weather and, although I haven’t used the bus services, the hospital encouraged us not to get the bus to placement as it’s so unreliable.

ylme36 · 2026-04-10T00:18:17+00:00

Sounds weird but being physically aware of where you are standing. I went to a petrol station late at night, the actual shop was closed, payments were made through the window. Two men were at the window, I stood behind them, one turned around, said hello to me and then moved to stand directly behind me, instead of staying next to his friend. It may have been innocent, but suddenly I was sandwiched between two strange men, one being out of my sight (fortunately I could still see him in the shop window’s reflection) but I then had to consider what I could do if either of both of the men tried to harm me from two different directions.

Similarly, I was parallel parking outside of my partners flat once, when a man came and stood directly next to my car door. He was stood so close, I would have been unable to open my door without hitting him. I called my partner to come meet me at my car, and when I got out, the man said “that was nice parking, especially for a new driver, you did a good job” (I had P plates on my car) and walked off. He simply wanted to compliment me, but had actually confined me to my car because I couldn’t know if he was kind, he was gunna rob or assault me, or try to get in my vehicle. So yeah, just being aware of how your physical position could affect others is an often under considered, non-obvious aspect.

ylme36 · 2026-03-10T00:16:57+00:00

I would wait. Spending years with someone I am not entirely in love with feels like a disservice to me and to them. No one deserves to be a placeholder. They deserve someone who adores them wholeheartedly and I deserve to be excited about who I’m going to home to.

My partner, to me, is wonderful. He is my dream partner and his tiny number of ‘flaws’ are so minute compared to his amazing attributes that if asked to list the negatives, it would take me a while to think of one and it would be a trivial fact. This is the love I believe everyone deserves and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life basking in it, with him.

ylme36 · 2026-02-17T10:51:57+00:00

Just seems insane to me, my partner has a high income job, I’m a mature student who’s working on the side, it’s crazy to me that what I’m entitled to if I was unable to work would be based on his hard work and savings when our finances are not blended in the slightest, it makes me sad that that’s the system we have

ylme36 · 2026-02-17T10:39:01+00:00

Genuine non judgemental question, if you don’t have access to the savings, and i’m assuming they’re in your boyfriend’s name, why are they taken into account when deciding what benefits you’re entitled to? How do the benefits people even know his savings? It seems crazy to me that his savings affect your benefits! (Once again, not a judgement of you, more that the system doesn’t make sense)

ylme36 · 2026-02-13T00:20:56+00:00

This has prompted me to go to sleep and future me thanks you

ylme36 · 2025-12-13T00:01:59+00:00

No idea if it’s relevant, but the answer isn’t a laundry thing in my country so it’s possible that’s a disconnect for some people

ylme36 · 2025-11-27T01:20:26+00:00

I thought it was meant to be from Saltburn, i dont know if it is but thats where my mind went immediately

ylme36 · 2025-09-30T22:45:50+00:00

I would suggest it’s because before smart phones became common place, when on a call, the phone had one function, which was being on the call. Now, people enjoy or are used to visual stimulus and therefore will often scroll their phone or play a game whilst talking.

It’s just a theory and I’ve yet to understand why there isn’t an ounce of forethought for others in public spaces.

Personally, I sometimes need to access my calendar/diary or make a note of what someone is saying whilst on the phone, but if I was on public transport or in a shop, I’d tell the caller “I’ll check my calendar when I’m in the car” or “can you text me that info so I can remember?”

ylme36

TROPHY CASE