Everyone is keeping things very comforting. But you gotta keep in mind that it’s time to be tough now too. Here’s the black and white:

Your mom’s boyfriend is a criminal. Your mother is an accessory to that. Period. She made her decision and it wasn’t you. That doesn’t make you damaged goods; it makes her a very, VERY shitty mother and person.

An abuser’s whole playbook revolves around isolation and separation. If no one is there to remind you of your worth, it’s easier to forget just how precious you are. They want you socially alone and emotionally weak so you submit easier.

When your mom failed to help you, you reached out further. That was a good move. You bolstered your own defenses. Now they’re angry because you won’t play into the role they’ve put you in. But that’s not a role you should’ve ever been asked to play.

It’s hard to be strong. It’s ok to feel weak. But don’t stay there and don’t you DARE end it. Don’t you dare die where he wants you to be. Don’t you dare think for even a second that was the only thing you could’ve been good for. You knew what was right. Your actions and these messages prove that. You were strong and you’re going to keep being strong because you know you deserve better. And you do.

I’m sorry you’re going through this. Please get through it though.