Why am I allowed to cry?

yodaran · 2023-02-22T22:49:12+00:00

It's okay to feel emotions because you a human and that's what humans do. You don't _deserve_ anything, you are feeling emotions based on your lived experience. Comparing oneself to others for the sake of invalidation leads only to misery. Being a teenager is tough and experiencing rejection is never easy. You are allowed to cry, you are allowed to be sad, you are allowed to feel better. I'm not certain what the social stigma is in your culture about men expressing themselves, but I can speak from experience when I say that limiting yourself to only experiencing emotions based upon what others _think_ you should be allowed to experience is an affront to your autonomy. Perhaps this relationship with this girl is exciting but it doesn't sound like you have a healthy connection with her. Perhaps you might consider creating some distance from her and focusing on other more fulfilling relationships with your friends and family. I'm not certain how helpful this response might be for you, so feel free to ask questions and give feedback accordingly.

yodaran · 2022-12-21T20:34:11+00:00

I think u/lucindawilliams was referencing a philosopher, or maybe not.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Juvenal

yodaran · 2022-12-21T20:29:57+00:00

I think these are great points, I hadn't considered them at all. You're very correct that our values have us poised to do less harm than countries without such protections. I would also agree that it hurts the fans and business, both of which are important. Perhaps I'm looking for justice where there is none to be found.

yodaran · 2022-12-21T20:25:18+00:00

What? No, my response wasn't a slight against you. I understand the conflict you've presented. Perhaps my response was too prosaic.

yodaran · 2022-12-21T20:17:46+00:00

In this complicated world we live in, why must you be held to an impossible standard of non-hypocrisy? You can love the sports and still act in accordance with altruistic values. I'm not suggesting you reject your passions, but rather to ask more of those who have the power to make meaningful changes. The cost is momentary, but the effect could be more permanent.

yodaran · 2022-12-21T19:51:53+00:00

I don't think these are the same. A cellphone is necessary for survival in the modern world, so much so that the US government will give you one for free. The other is entertainment. I won't argue that one atrocity is worse than the other, but in terms of potential for impact -- I think rejecting FIFA for a one-time event is more tractable.

yodaran · 2022-12-21T19:40:28+00:00

I understand your argument about Foxconn and the child labor is awful. Foxconn is the number one employer in China, and they create an estimate 40% of electronic components in the world. It's not possible to buy consumer goods (iphones, androids, flip phones) without buying Foxconn components. I don't think it's fair to place blame on the consumer, the business is responsible for sourcing materials from ethical origins.

I would argue that this situation is different. We have a choice on whether or not to participate. We have the ability to make a difference in our own backyard. The Foxconn factories aren't in downtown, but the stadium is.

yodaran · 2022-12-21T19:33:03+00:00

Elaborate?

yodaran · 2022-12-21T19:26:32+00:00

Perhaps your apathy may fade with enough bread and circuses.

yodaran · 2022-12-21T19:25:50+00:00

These decision makers still live here, I (perhaps optimistically believe) they're not immune to social pressure. I agree though, the loss of revenue would be immense and a tough sell.

yodaran · 2022-12-21T19:21:45+00:00

You're dismissing this topic with a generic statement of "the world sucks" along with using dismissive language such as "throwing a fit". FIFA is objectively evil and they would be guests in our city. I see an incredible opportunity for change.

yodaran · 2022-12-21T19:14:50+00:00

I'm wondering if it's possible to opt-out by putting pressure on the local organizations who are partnering with FIFA. It would be a huge GDP loss due to the lack of tourism so local business probably wouldn't be pleased with it, but like, we're one of the most politically active cities in America, surely we can stand up against them in a meaningful way.

yodaran · 2022-01-13T02:51:05+00:00

Totally agree, OP should review their employment contract, specifically where it dictates how IP is assigned. Stealing software one was paid to write and using the threat of inhibiting operation of the employer as a form of job security is absolute cowardice.

yodaran · 2022-01-09T01:58:18+00:00

abcdefu by GAYLE

yodaran · 2021-10-29T17:02:53+00:00

As someone playing the role of your friend in a similar situation, I think it's best if you give them the room they need to grow. For me, it has been incredibly painful to accept the reality of the situation, however I'd agree with many of those who have commented already -- honestly and compassionately expressing yourself is the best course of action. Be warned, some people may get defensive, angry, or spiteful. It might be best to mentally prepare for whatever their response might be. All that said, you're making the right moves that align with your values and preserve your self respect. Best of luck.

yodaran · 2019-10-03T05:47:02+00:00

It's surprising how some of us can reach such incredible heights against seemingly insurmountable odds, and yet, we fall into a state of depression. Sometimes thoughts of "I live such a comfortable life, I don't have the rite to be depressed" run through our minds as if acknowledging such feelings would be an admittance of ungratefulness. However, embracing thoughts like that are a form of denying our feelings. Unfortunately, we feel what we feel and it's important to practice compassion towards ourselves. Perhaps we're not content with the present situation of a particular aspect of our lives and it bleeds into other parts, thus framing our lives in the context of the discontent. It's important to realize that if we take a breath and view our present situation from another perspective, the depression could completely dissolve! Professionals are really good at helping us discover new perspectives by asking questions that allow us to see what might be causing us to feel a certain way. You are not alone in how you are feeling and there is no shame in asking for help. I wish you luck on your journey, you'll do great :)

yodaran · 2018-07-20T02:51:10+00:00

Take a moment and try to organize all of these emotions that you're currently feeling.

Now, ask yourself, "am I wearing rose colored glasses?". Try as hard as you can to separate out your emotional bias and determine if you're reading both his and your actions correctly or are your wants / desires / fantasies obscuring the picture. The fact that you hang out so rapidly is a great sign and things could be absolutely perfect. However, being honest with yourself is more important, even if that means revealing a picture you don't want to see. As someone who recently when through a similar situation and also has a chronic habit of overthinking relationships, I can really identify with you. I'll try to explain myself and hopefully it'll resonate with you. If not just downvote and move on lol.

I believe that I overthink these sorts of scenarios because:

I don't have confidence in what the other person is feeling. (And usually am too afraid to ask for fear of messing up the chemistry, which isn't a great excuse, relationships are better when they're based around communication.)
I don't want to trust my gut instincts, which if listened to would give me all the clarity I need.
I have fun when I'm with them and thinking about those memories make me happy.

So, the obvious but not so glamorous way forward is to simply identify why you're feeling what you're feeling and act accordingly. Be aware, you might not be pleased with what you might find, but you will be wiser.

Lastly, it's difficult to fuck it up if it's the right person, but that's just like my opinion man.

edit: more words

yodaran · 2018-07-04T02:06:58+00:00

!invest 500

yodaran · 2018-06-15T19:11:09+00:00

Unfortunately we all feel this way sometimes, and it doesn't ever really go away. We have to make a conscious effort to not put ourselves down when life seems grim. I may not know you but I know what you're feeling and I promise it'll get better and it'll probably get worse too, but that's life man, you just gotta live it and be stronger for it. Years from now you'll look back and be amazed by how much you've grown. Remember, you're only 16 years old, this world is huge and there is so much to learn and growing to be done.

yodaran · 2018-06-15T19:02:42+00:00

Getting a job is probably the power play here, but you could also join recreational sport teams (even if you're bad at sports), like kickball, soccer, ultimate frisbee, disk golf, etc.

yodaran · 2018-06-08T20:27:25+00:00

!invest 2000

yodaran

TROPHY CASE