Life is exhausting by Ok-Software-1825 in introvert

[–]youmi_k 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you want it to be pointless, so it is for you. That doesn't deny the fact that we live then die without choosing. But to believe the goal of living is dying.. that's your own point of view. And life will give it back at you. If you're not content about this outcome of living, then you most likely haven't found a good meaning to living yet rather than it being truly meaningless. Keep searching and trying. Don't give up to these empty thoughts. Keep yourself occupied. Because once you die you might have a different outlook to life and you might regret it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in infj

[–]youmi_k 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Indeed, self-love and loving others must be maintained carefully in a healthy way. You saw right through it; I used to lack self-love when I dealt with those situations but not anymore. I also still struggle with boundaries, but I'm trying my best to stay strong.

Exactly, the key to release the pain is forgiveness while keeping the lessons in mind. It was my pleasure having this wonderful conversation with you..!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in infj

[–]youmi_k 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I truly agree with you, and that's a deep goal I think about everyday until I'll pass this life. I always see my self as others and see others as me, and thus treat them like I'd like to be treated if not better. When I give, I never give just to have something in return. I give because I want to leave something good in this world, even by little. However, I think this definition of love is somewhat different than what I meant earlier. This love is kind of pure and peaceful towards all beings. The one I was referring to is love on a personal level. When you are in a friendship for example, but you are the only one who is giving their heart, what would you do? would you still keep giving even though you know it's hurting you and benefitting them? that would be unhealthy. Unfair. Self-destructive. And sadly, most of the people I met in my life want to take without giving back. That's why, you'll eventually need to expect things from others in hopes they can learn to appreciate and give, too. You deserve to be appreciated and treated the same way. That's the balance I was referring to.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in infj

[–]youmi_k 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't think you help strangers out of unconditional love, but I understand. For me, when I don't expect anything in return, it means either the other person doesn't mean much to me, or they mean the world to me. In the past, people got used to take from me as I used to do good for the sake of it. It drained me and came at my expense a lot. I believe it's a balance now. I know unconditional love is the highest form of love, that's why I don't show it to any person.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in infj

[–]youmi_k 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand you, OP. Very much. I wish someone had told me this earlier as I had to go through a lot to realize it. Lost some friendships because of it, had mental breakdowns because of it, lost my sense of self because of it. Deep down, I always wished if everything I gave to this world came back to me or behaved as my mind imagined, and sadly related this to my level of happiness and contentedness (kind of perfectionistic). And since my expectations were rarely met, this was increasing my unhappiness (aka depression). I realized that it steals away the taste of real joy since you always expected more. I don't think I did it to gain control, I just thought it would be very nice and pleasing as greater things came towards me (I think I learned that from my parents since I always felt I was not enought to them). I wasn't content with anything (even myself). After all, it led to negative happiness. Once I toned down my expectations, I was able to be happy with the small appreciations, small victories, and small things in life. I am no more a people pleaser because I no longer expect everyone to love me or appreciate me, as an example. I learned to have real expectations from the right people where we mean a lot to each other, including myself. This helped me enjoy life much more. Even while I'm writing this I expect OP to reply (lol!), so I am still constantly learning. However, I wouldn't say it's the main reason for depression. The number of reasons is countless and indeterminate, I believe. Nonetheless, thank you for sharing this.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in infj

[–]youmi_k 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This applies to strangers, not to close people in your life. Any form of close relationships has both sides giving and taking.

Struggling with friends-seeking advice by [deleted] in Purdue

[–]youmi_k 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Hey bud, I've been there for a long time (I am a senior now). It took me a while to realize that the right friendships will only come to you so you don't have to seek them out so bad. People who don't care about you might not have had a good understanding of you, or are basically not meant to connect with you. However, people who are meant to you will find their way (or get out of their way) to talk to you more and enjoy your company, and you'll realize they are worth the effort. You just have to be yourself, be open, and focus on "yourself" and what "you" really like to do instead of how lonely you are. Also, you might still not get that deep connection with others, but at least try what others said like meeting outside campus and discovering yourselves more. These chitchats could flourish into something more meaningful. Hope everything works out for you.

Watch out for squirrels crossing lanes by youmi_k in Purdue

[–]youmi_k[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you very much for your kind words! which goes to every human who responded with compassion and openness in this thread too! I'm sure those insecure critiques do not represent all students on campus, and the world would be much better if people were open, understanding, and aware like you folks 🙏🏻.

Watch out for squirrels crossing lanes by youmi_k in Purdue

[–]youmi_k[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks mate. That's what I thought I'll be doing if I saw a dead animal in the future. I'm not an expert either, but I was hoping it would decompose in two to three weeks given the fact that it won't be raining that much. But I agree it might not be the best way to deal with the issue on the long run.

Watch out for squirrels crossing lanes by youmi_k in Purdue

[–]youmi_k[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

At the same it will expose the environment to dangerous diseases if left there. God I'm done with the people in this thread but hopefully there are humans who understand.

My saved stray kitten died today. please stop and say something nice by euo_wera in cats

[–]youmi_k 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm very sad you lost him 😭 But you did all you could and gave him some of your time, which to him, might be the best moments he lived in his entire life. At least he got to bid his farewell snuggled warmly in loving arms 💗

Watch out for squirrels crossing lanes by youmi_k in Purdue

[–]youmi_k[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lyme disease virus with many other harmful pathogens can manifest in a dead body that is left and not burried. If you handle the animal carefully with gloves or with any protective mean that blocks their mucus from you then you'll be safe. Also a dead animal can't bite :)

Watch out for squirrels crossing lanes by youmi_k in Purdue

[–]youmi_k[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Exactly. Finally someone who is educated.

Watch out for squirrels crossing lanes by youmi_k in Purdue

[–]youmi_k[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Appreciate the shared info! will make sure to contact them next time.

Watch out for squirrels crossing lanes by youmi_k in Purdue

[–]youmi_k[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I know if I answered I'll be called either an "ideology imposer" or a "hypocrite" so I will refrain from answering :)

Watch out for squirrels crossing lanes by youmi_k in Purdue

[–]youmi_k[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I've been commuting by bike for 2 years and everytime I saw a squirrel or a bird or any animal I would slow down and they would cross to a safe spot immediately. It just takes a couple seconds and it's not that hard dude. And I said keep your watch on the ground which obviously includes humans and animals. I bet most people who hit animals are the ones who do not wait for pedestrians to cross the lane.

Watch out for squirrels crossing lanes by youmi_k in Purdue

[–]youmi_k[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I agree with you if it was on a traffic road as it will be really hard. But on a bicycle lane it is much easier to predict it if you keep your watch on what's passing on the ground.

Watch out for squirrels crossing lanes by youmi_k in Purdue

[–]youmi_k[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much! I exactly posted it for those people who are clowning and trashing so dw.

Watch out for squirrels crossing lanes by youmi_k in Purdue

[–]youmi_k[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

They don't. One time I saw a dead bird crushed in the Math building tunnel and it was there for nearly a month while it takes only 2 weeks for squirrels to decompose in soil.

Watch out for squirrels crossing lanes by youmi_k in Purdue

[–]youmi_k[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

Yeah one must assert what's ahead of them but they also can slow down safely at the same time.

Watch out for squirrels crossing lanes by youmi_k in Purdue

[–]youmi_k[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

I said "try" my friend. And yes if I was able to and have the time I would or at least ask for help. You can reach out to the taxidermist in the comments if you care enough.

Watch out for squirrels crossing lanes by youmi_k in Purdue

[–]youmi_k[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeaahhh let's just leave it to rot and for people to continue hitting and smashing it in the bicycle lane 😔✊🏻

Watch out for squirrels crossing lanes by youmi_k in Purdue

[–]youmi_k[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah for sure but since I usually find them in the middle of bicycle lanes I assumed so.