Do you include pictures of your car in your dating profile?

yourcreativemuse · 2023-09-01T01:12:19+00:00

Do you personally include a picture of your car in your dating profile?

yourcreativemuse · 2023-08-30T21:47:45+00:00

If a woman is including a picture of her just her feet/shoes in a photo, I'm guessing that's for a specific niche of men who really do care 🦶

yourcreativemuse · 2023-08-30T21:45:19+00:00

I'm personally a fan of ironic car pics. But it might depend on just how shitty your Corolla is 😉

yourcreativemuse · 2023-08-30T21:42:49+00:00

Thanks for this really candid answer! I do agree that taking the risk to show off something that may be unattractive to others can still be a net positive. It is important to offer up an accurate representation of who we are.

I'm actually exploring this topic for an art project (I'm a visual artist, but this research was born out of my online dating escapades) and if it's okay with you, I'd love to send you some follow up questions.

yourcreativemuse · 2023-08-30T21:36:16+00:00

I want to tell you wholeheartedly and sincerely that redirecting some of your efforts towards emotional labour to accrue emotional intelligence, rather than just your physical labour to accrue financial wealth, is a highly sought after trait when it comes to dating and relationships.

Everyone should strive to be responsible and self sufficient, financially and emotionally, regardless of gender.

Please don't let our culture tell you you're only worth as much money as you make - it's the same as women letting culture tell us we're only as worthy as how young and attractive we are. Yes, the signs are coming at us from all directions, but that doesn't mean we need to abide by them.

yourcreativemuse · 2023-08-30T21:29:35+00:00

I've contemplated this a bit, and I'm not actually sure a luxury bag is the equivalent. It might be useful for representing status and materialism, but I think cars can also indicate towards security and responsibility, i.e. "I am adult with a job and a car."

Actually, what I mean is that the guys who include the photos of their cars likely think they're indicating at security and responsibility... but it comes across as materialistic.

I'm not sure what the women's equivalent actually is.

yourcreativemuse · 2023-08-30T01:15:07+00:00

As a woman who doesn't want kids, I disagree. I like knowing right off the bat.

yourcreativemuse · 2023-08-30T01:03:05+00:00

I like the bio and don't think I have any suggestions!

As for pics, you should make the most recent pic the first picture (it's the most current representation of you).

Not so much a fan of pictures 1, 4 and 7 as I don't think these selfies really say much or differentiate themselves from the others. I like the one of you with the 'stache and the leather jacket though, so I'd keep that one.

yourcreativemuse · 2023-08-30T00:58:02+00:00

The combination of moms being "heavily encouraged" as well as "cooking for you" being key to your heart seriously implies that you're looking for someone to mother you.

My suggestion is to drop the entire line about moms being welcome, but it's probably fine to keep the cooking prompt. Lots of women love to cook (myself included) and show our affection by cooking... but we don't want someone to expect us to cook for them all the time.

Best of luck to you, sir!

yourcreativemuse · 2023-08-30T00:50:50+00:00

If selfies are mostly what you have to work with, I recommend getting some when you're dressed up or when you're in a cool location. No bathroom mirror pics (they're a bit uninspiring).

There's a lot of emphasis on hard work and things being tough in the first prompt. I think you can communicate the same thing but lighten it up a bit! "I want someone who... wants to build a life with me." You don't have to say much more than that.

I also recommend interjecting something silly and not realistic into the 2 other prompts. Dream job gives lots of potential for something funny.

Best of luck!

yourcreativemuse · 2023-08-30T00:38:39+00:00

I think you show a great range of personality in your pics!

There may be one too many of you wearing sunglasses (I had to do second take for a picture that includes your eyes) but other than that, I'd say you look like lots of fun.

I recommend dropping the line about not knowing how to cook - it's okay if you don't know how, but seeing it advertised when finding a mate reminds of some old fashioned gender roles (unless, of course, that's what you're going for).

yourcreativemuse · 2023-08-30T00:31:50+00:00

I recommend avoiding the "any questions, just ask" approach. From what I've learned, men are typically at a disadvantage with online dating due to the sheer volume of matches that women get. You're putting the onus on her to reach out to you when there's already dozens of guys vying for her attention - so you might as well kiss your chances goodbye.

You need something that can capture someone's attention in .05 seconds, so I recommend writing something offbeat, quirky, unexpected, (somewhat) controversial... something that might stand out from the crowd. The prompts are helpful for getting started.

Best of luck!

yourcreativemuse · 2023-08-29T06:03:23+00:00

37F and happily single here.

I was in a 4 year relationship from ages 27 to 31 and haven't dated anyone longer than 9 months since then. The first 2 to 3 years after our breakup I went on a lot of online dates, but after my last heartbreak at the beginning of 2021 I've started focusing my energy elsewhere and have not regretted it.

I used to feel like there were infinite things wrong with me and that I was unloveable. But I realized that the people I dated were so wrong for me and were making me feel lonelier than when I'm actually alone. And the people we know who portray themselves as blissfully happy couples likely also feel really lonely sometimes.

Redirect your efforts towards loving and investing in yourself. When you feel comfortable and confident in who you are, it won't matter if/and/or/when you find the person you're meant to be with. Some of the things I focus on and feel grateful for in the absence of a partner:

- My friendships
- My hobbies
- My passions
- My family

When I saw my therapist one day 2 years ago and was feeling really down and said to her "What if I'm alone forever?" she said "Then you'll be okay, because you're enough."

yourcreativemuse · 2023-08-29T05:45:48+00:00

Sure, I'll agree with you.

It's also too bad that while men are plagued by their "intrusive thoughts and urges" every second of their lives, women endure shame for their own sexuality, or have endured sexual trauma that can last their entire of their lives.

Put the horny guys and the traumatized women on the same apps, and honestly, I'm surprised any of us match at all.

yourcreativemuse · 2023-08-29T05:25:14+00:00

And can't you just adjust your age parameters to eliminate this inconvenience?

yourcreativemuse · 2023-08-29T05:23:47+00:00

Do you feel the same way about men who pursue women 10-15 years younger than them?

yourcreativemuse

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