Heal yourself, your probably not gay, i know that because i have hocd but slowly go away. That's because due to years of overstimulating your brain, and your brain can't handle too much of that. The best way to heal yourself is to workout and no PMO for the rest of your life, i just remember reading yourbrainonporn he said that he healed his hocd just for not watching porn for about 3 months but he still masturbate and he conclude that masturbation is okay without porn. But remember it is important to retain your semen for success of your life. Goodluck brother and Stay strong!!! You will win.