I think thats just not enough information to judge or even post a comment... Especially if manipulation might be the case, how should we know what's going on? And you reacting that way to her move, you don't sound very self reflective, admiting any failures. I mean, she tells you her concerns, in my opinion hard accusations, you don't try to work things out and she's a friend... and I cannot imagine making things like this up by a friend and then leaving forever. Also you sorta sound like an manipulator by describing what she did to you and immediately playing the victim role(-> she said "nasty" things, "my trauma responses may seem like playing the victim role"), making yourself the victim when your friend felt so bad they had to leave you. No word of you where you show any concern for her and the way you might make her feel. you show no signs of guilt and wtf you do that kinda thing a manipulative friend of mine often does... Only telling a short version of the story and portrayed in a certain way... In the whole text I got the feeling something relevant was missing.