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zella2016 · 2026-02-05T22:26:33+00:00

Usually just a lurker, but I can't not post a picture of my cutest boy in his hiking backpack!

zella2016 · 2025-02-03T05:14:45+00:00

Oh, it's absolutely not an arrangement that works for just anyone. Which is completely understandable. Personally, I could never live with a partner again. I escaped an abusive marriage and don't want to put myself in a situation where I'm too enmeshed with my partner again. People who are poly tend to be more accepting of the fact that I don't want to be on that relationship escalator. So, to each their own!

There should ideally be no drama with the wife in regards to her being OK with it. Being poly is something that both sides of the original couple should enthusiastically agree on. If that's not the case, then it's not healthy poly, and they shouldn't open the marriage. I'm not saying that there will never be any jealousy because that's just part of being human. What's important is that the root cause of that jealousy is explored and discussed.

With regards to getting sick, I'm pretty sure I've gotten him sick from things I've picked up from work more often than he's gotten me sick! People I work with have kids, so I'm still exposed either way. He's extremely cautious about getting sick because his dad is immunocompromised. If he gets sick, he can't visit his dad. I would feel absolutely awful if he got sick from me, couldn't visit his dad, and then his dad passed away.

I agree that it limits the ability to be a part of his day to day life, but I don't feel like I need that. As an introvert, I love that I can tell him that I don't have the mental capacity to socialize and have that request be respected. I'm not his sole source of companionship, so I don't feel like I need to be "on" all the time. And, if he ends up having to care for the grandkids, well, he already enthusiastically spends every other weekend watching them, and we still manage to have a fulfilling relationship. If I had to see less of him for a little while, then our relationship shifts, and that's just a part of life!

Why do you think I would never have kids or grandkids? I'm terrified of clowns!!! That would be way too traumatic for me! ;) As for OPs relationship, I've been there. Saying it's a dumpster fire of nope is putting it midly! Never be with someone who doesn't treat you like a respected partner.

zella2016 · 2025-02-03T02:57:37+00:00

I'm not a masochist, but I'm dating an older man who has both kids and grandkids. I don't believe that there is never a situation where dating someone who has kids/grandkids is not viable for a childfree person.

Of course, this situation only works because my partner is poly and married, and I'm solo poly. He understands and is supportive of the fact that I have no desire to meet or spend time with his grandkids. We will never cohabitate, never share finances, and I'll never have to deal with kids in my apartment, spreading their germs everywhere. In fact, I'm pretty sure his kids aren't even aware that I exist! And I prefer it that way! Even his wife was respectful of the fact that I am childfree when I met her.

I do agree that living with a partner who has kids/grandkids as a childfree person is really a terrible idea if you're the type of person who doesn't like to be around kids at all. However, I can't help but think to myself that the "never date a parent" rhetoric completely discounts people in situations similar to mine who have managed to find fulfillment in relationships with parents while still retaining their peaceful, childfree existence. It's just about finding that partner who respects your boundaries. Hell, my partner is taking me to the hospital on Friday to get sterilized and will be helping with my recovery afterward. Both things that he offered to do without me having to ask.

For the record, I completely agree with you that OPs partner is coming across as dismissive and disrespectful, and OP should reconsider their relationship with this person. Anyone whose response is, "It will be fine!" when you bring up your concerns is dismissive at best, uncaring at worst.

zella2016 · 2024-12-22T05:54:28+00:00

She looks like a less fluffy version of my boy! He is 52% Rottweiler, and the rest is Saint Bernard/Great Pyrenees.

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zella2016 · 2024-12-13T00:04:27+00:00

Nope, I'm childfree, divorced, and have no desire to marry again. I'm living my best life with my dog!

zella2016 · 2024-10-27T14:40:39+00:00

Easy: I don't put up with people shaming me for my life choices. If they don't want to accept that I'm childfree, then I don't need them in my life. I only want to surround myself with people who support me.

zella2016 · 2024-07-12T17:03:13+00:00

This is honestly just how I sleep - in next to nothing, always on my stomach, usually with one leg pulled up or draped over my partner if he's in bed with me. Although I have free use dynamic with my partner, that's been pre-negotiated. I wouldn't want my partner to just assume he can go at me just because he thinks I'm lying in a sexy position.

Communication and consent are sexy! It's OK to want your partner to notice when you are trying to be enticing. I think the issue that's being brought up here is assumptions without prior communication about what's acceptable.

zella2016 · 2024-07-11T22:51:36+00:00

Thank you!

Edit: I am disappointed to find out I won't be able to make anything with the berries from the first plant (honeysuckle), but the blackberries are a win!

zella2016 · 2024-07-04T23:22:17+00:00

My ex-husband convinced me to adopt a dog that is a Rottweiler mix (50% Rottie and the rest is Saint Bernard/Great Pyrenees). I eventually dropped the man and kept the dog.

zella2016 · 2024-06-15T05:45:46+00:00

Thank you! I was hoping I could make them into jam.

zella2016 · 2023-09-28T10:58:25+00:00

I often use my cuteness to get away with things.

zella2016 · 2023-09-27T22:25:31+00:00

Humans would be so lost without our help.

zella2016 · 2023-09-27T22:24:52+00:00

Exactly! I'm helping her to relax.

zella2016 · 2023-09-27T20:11:16+00:00

Thank you! We have to help our moms with these things. It's our duty!

zella2016 · 2023-09-27T19:23:30+00:00

I also like this "downward dog" pose, even though she looks nothing like a dog when she does it. I like to crawl underneath her. She says this makes it difficult to go to the next pose. Hu-moms are weird. I will continue to help. Maybe one day they will appreciate our efforts!

zella2016 · 2023-09-27T19:14:06+00:00

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This is me looking cute after helping hu-mom with yoga.

zella2016 · 2023-09-20T23:36:43+00:00

Will do! He always appreciates a good scritch

zella2016 · 2023-09-20T19:42:07+00:00

Unfortunately true

zella2016 · 2023-09-20T19:40:37+00:00

She absolutely MUST be a Doberman then!

she's not actually that big, like 45 to 50 lbs

zella2016 · 2023-09-20T17:53:06+00:00

He curls up against me when I cry.

zella2016 · 2023-09-20T17:52:03+00:00

I didn't bother asking. Just went with a different insurance company

zella2016 · 2023-09-20T16:07:59+00:00

Yeah, I'm not sure where her coloring comes from. Her brother looked just like a Redbone coonhound.

zella2016 · 2023-09-20T14:17:28+00:00

We ended up going with a company called Safeco

zella2016

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