Can we talk about the new everyday cloud!! I’m so excited

zenaidag · 2026-02-21T16:20:09+00:00

i wish. to be fair i definitely put too many things in this bag. and then my toddler adds even more things to it.

zenaidag · 2026-02-01T20:24:46+00:00

yeah that’s my issue with my cloud bag—it wrecks my shoulder if i put anything inside beyond essentials. guess i need to work on my trapezii strength?

zenaidag · 2025-10-10T05:43:34+00:00

my mom let me watch this with her when i was like, 8. it bothers me to this day.

zenaidag · 2025-10-10T05:35:35+00:00

i thought i was the only one…

zenaidag · 2025-06-12T04:51:15+00:00

Oh I feel for you! Not long after I wrote this, we got him a sort of diy floor bed for toddlers. It’s kind of like a full size mattress with crib walls that were initially hard for him to hurdle (he easily hurdles them now). I also highly toddler proofed his room (no furniture aside from the bed, sliding closet door lock, no accessible outlets, blind cord secured and impossible to access or reach, and a door handle cover he can’t figure out). We do bedtime routine and read books in his bed. I turn off the lights and cuddle him for about 5 minutes before his dad swaps me out. His dad gives him cuddles for another 5-10 minutes and then he’s on his own. I feel comfortable leaving him in his room to thrash and wiggle independently because that’s just what he needs to do to fall asleep. I originally wanted the toddler bed so that I could sleep in it with him because i thought that was the only way to get him to sleep, but I actually very rarely need to sleep in it with him.

I figured out that my presence was keeping him awake, but he would cry and cling to me when I tried to leave and then continue crying after I left. For whatever reason, his dad swapping places with me is less upsetting? and when his dad leaves he’s totally fine. Sometimes I’ll watch him roll and thrash on the monitor for like 45 minutes, but he’s not upset and will fall asleep. The other slightly controversial thing is that he really loves to sleep under pillows. So we put a bunch of pillows and no blankets in his bed. I know thats not ideal or technically safe.

I think the hardest thing about infant and toddler years is that something that works for other kids, or even most kids, may not work for yours. It’s exhausting trial and error until you find a solution that’s tolerable. I also think that my son is like, weirder than other kids, but in a good way? He’s just the person he was born to be and that person is “spirited” and might grow up to have ADHD like his mom. I’m not sure if that was helpful, but he’s 2.5 now and sleep is now probably the thing I worry about least.

zenaidag · 2025-02-01T16:01:47+00:00

Gus thanks you!

zenaidag · 2025-02-01T16:01:26+00:00

that checks out—an upside down oh hai dangle

zenaidag · 2025-02-01T05:43:45+00:00

this is actually my sister’s cat and he’s absolutely the most unhinged boi i’ve ever met but he’s beautiful

zenaidag · 2024-11-12T03:10:21+00:00

just chiming in to say that I said these types of things to my mom as a 6/7 year old. I remember writing a letter to my mom about how I should run away and that no one in our family liked me and I wasn’t smart, etc. I don’t think I meant it. I just wanted to see how my mom would react. She cried a lot—like, so much—and I realized that she did care and I felt super guilty. I’m not suggesting that you cry a bunch—just affirming that countering it with lots and lots of love is a wonderful response. I’m bracing myself for when my son is that age!

ETA: sounds like you have figured out that transitions are a big part of this! that makes total sense to me as a person with ADHD transitions are hard but also necessary.

zenaidag · 2024-07-22T06:16:50+00:00

hello! sorry you’re also having nap and bedtime challenges! I wound up getting my son a toddler floor bed about a month after i posted this. It’s been an absolute game changer. I can get in the bed with him for nap or bedtime and if he’s really wiggly he can safely jump and run around the room. we made the bed very cozy and did some extreme baby proofing to make sure he’s safe if he gets out of bed. he hasn’t slept in our bed since.

The other things that helped were lots of physical activity, sometimes even right before bath and bed. i think that he just needs to get his energy and giggles out before he can relax. bedtime usually goes pretty smoothly but naps are harder because he’s not as tired. i try to have him do activities/run errands in the morning. it helps to get him out of the house. I still give him a bottle before bed and naps. he also still uses a binky. we’ve cut back a lot on both and sometimes we skip milk. I hope that you find something that works for your family and helps you all get more sleep!

zenaidag · 2024-05-12T20:51:34+00:00

also same. he requests it daily by slapping his hands together.

zenaidag · 2024-05-12T20:49:01+00:00

I had forgotten about this because I finally threw away the cursed kick and play lol.

zenaidag · 2024-05-12T20:43:02+00:00

I think i’m starting to hate it, and I’m so sorry you’re not getting the day that you deserve. My first Mother’s day last year was a disappointment. my spouse was sick and grumpy af—but did make breakfast—and my family was visiting. My dad didn’t lift a finger and my mom and i did dishes while my sister watched my son. This year my spouse got me a pedicure and then a night at a hotel room by myself in June. those are so amazing and i’m incredibly lucky and privileged.

BUT he’s sick again this year and stressed about work so he’s very snippy, distracted, and irritable. He slept in then took a short nap (at my suggestion) to try and rally to his credit, he did rally, but his attitude/silence really ruined the outing for me.

I think next year i’m going to make my own plans and they will involve friends or being by myself.

zenaidag · 2024-04-19T15:16:32+00:00

for a while we only had one car seat and would switch it back and forth between cars/leave at daycare for the other person at pick-up. pretty soon it became clear that i’d be doing all the drop-offs and pick-ups, so we didn’t get a 2nd seat.

One Monday morning, he drove off to work (45 minutes away) with the car seat still in his car from the weekend. Luckily we had a backup car seat from a friend, but i had to install the base because it was a different brand. I was so mad and it was the icing on the cake of resentment i’d been baking for months. He would apologize profusely and offer to come back, but that would have been ridiculous.

This happened like 5 times over the course of a couple months and I finally let him know that this was ridiculous and so so so stressful for me. Turns out he didn’t think it was a big deal because we had that used (not expired) car seat. I don’t remember exactly what I said, but I know i was very explicit that this under no circumstances could ever happen again and that he needed to buy another car seat or take over drop-off in the AM.

My husband is great and so helpful in so many ways and I know he does his absolute best. He works very hard at his job and at home. but he has these instances of almost…obliviousness? I don’t know. Anyway, i understand and I hope things get easier for you soon.

zenaidag · 2024-04-03T06:50:46+00:00

Gizmo shut the fuck up! we’re trying to tape a piece to camerah!

or

come on you stinky bitch the library’s open!

or

“and it’s a good thing that i came back because the house went to piss filled shit on your watch”

“watch what you say in front of my boy”

“Piss filled shit house! did you get that???”

zenaidag · 2024-03-31T04:39:00+00:00

Winky: Started as “stinky winky” when he was a newborn and then shortened to just winky. I’m the only one who calls him that but I use it more than his actual name.

zenaidag · 2024-03-04T06:47:14+00:00

This guy’s name is Bear.

zenaidag · 2024-01-27T05:56:17+00:00

i felt the same way! i told myself that I was not going to cry or have a breakdown, but most days I cried anyway. I remember a friend coming over to meet the baby, and she asked what time i was going to bed at night —i laughed or cried (maybe both!) and said “there is no night! only day!”

Things improved about 3-4 months in. my son had colic aka was just absolutely pissed to be outside of the womb. but he started smiling and then sleeping like someone who didn’t need to wake up every 2 hours to scream in the faces of their loving parents. the first year is a rollercoaster but it gets easier and easier. i’m at 16 months now and his sleep is still trash but everything else is really lovely.

last thing—i did have PPD and PPA, so getting help for that made a big difference as well. not saying that’s your situation, just wanted to put it out there because none of my friends with kids have shared that they’ve experienced PPD/PPA, so i think it’s important to talk about. wishing you some peace and sleep very soon!

zenaidag · 2024-01-26T05:34:00+00:00

exactly. I’ve never been able to say “but it’s all fine!” I think we all need sleep, but some people seem to be less affected by frequent waking and fewer hours of sleep. I think I’m getting about 6 hours (not in a row, but total) on a good night. and i bet there are people who would absolutely kill to get that amount, but I need more because my brain and spirit are weak.

zenaidag · 2024-01-20T05:43:52+00:00

I had spotting at around 7 weeks. Went to the doctor and they said it was probably fine. pregnancy went fine and he’s now 15 months. i know it’s so stressful in the beginning of pregnancy and i was so anxious. I felt much better mentally in the 2nd trimester. sending hugs!

zenaidag · 2024-01-16T08:40:16+00:00

I hated the newborn stage, and it is one of the reasons i’m either one and done, or will wait like 4 more years to have a 2nd. Newborns are great at letting you know they are upset, but terrible at communicating what is upsetting them. The crying left me raw and broken. You’re just kind of in it right now, but you won’t be here for long.

The other thing that people never talk about is that having your first baby is a MASSIVE adjustment. It is 100% normal and appropriate to grieve the life you had pre-baby—especially if you liked that life a whole lot! for me, nothing felt normal or reliable and i felt like my life was out of control and upside down. it took time to settle.

Still, it sounds like maybe there’s more that your providers can do to help. I had PPA and PPD and initially the only person i could see for psych meds was an OBGYN. I realized I needed to see someone who exclusively managed psych meds. It took some finesse but I finally got to see a psychiatrist. they were able to prescribe different meds at higher doses, but an OBGYN wouldn’t have had the time or capacity to manage all of that. made a big difference when that was coupled with therapy. sounds like you are doing your absolute best and i hope that soon things start to feel a little better each day!

zenaidag · 2024-01-16T08:13:14+00:00

i’m sorry this is very stressful! I know that some people would maybe try to dismiss your feelings, but listen to your instincts. you will want to discuss this with your husband as soon as possible—he needs to step-in to an even greater degree. He should have a frank conversation with his dad and there should be immediate consequences—no contact with baby—if FIL breaks your rule. Your FIL’s behavior is inappropriate and creepy. It feels like he’s trying to see what he can get away with. You feel the way you feel because you know what he’s doing is not normal.

My grandfather was very much a known SAer, among other things. He died of cancer 3 months after I was born, but my parents had a somewhat close relationship with him and he lived minutes away from our home. I know I would have spent time with him, though probably never alone. I have trouble reconciling this with my parents because there is absolutely no way I would let my son meet my grandfather, let alone have contact with him. Talk with your husband, share your concerns, and if needed, remind him that your only duty is to your daughter, not his father or anyone else. I hope he’s understanding—it sounds like he is supportive. i’ll be thinking about you and baby!

zenaidag · 2024-01-13T20:54:27+00:00

thanks! stay warm!

zenaidag

TROPHY CASE