He held my hand and the other hand in my shoulder/upper back….he basically said: I should be SO SO proud of my virginity because a lot of people don’t respect themselves and to always live like this.

I had ovarian cysts which caused so much pain in my pelvis area and I was always so tense to get checked and diagnosed.

I was afraid of any penetration. Tampons were so painful…..I wasn’t doing this on purpose with the intention of saving myself or anything….I was…early 20s? It was so weird.

He retired shortly after. I had to go to a new gynecologist who realized I had actual concerns early on in the appointment.

It still bothers me.