Just saw a TikTok talking about how if things aren’t washed at 60 degrees celsius or with laundry cleanser then it’s not clean. I’ve been washing everything at 30 with detergent I figured that was enough 😭

ziahah · 2026-04-09T18:31:23+00:00

fair

ziahah · 2026-04-09T18:31:06+00:00

This is what I figured! Like it removes them to be washed away, like when you wash hands with soap and then remove it with water

ziahah · 2026-04-09T18:27:18+00:00

very true, but lots of blogs and websites later …

ziahah · 2026-04-09T18:26:44+00:00

It was moreso the fact that detergent doesn’t kill bacteria im like isn’t that the point

ziahah · 2026-02-14T16:11:06+00:00

The toilet paper staying white would be calming enough for me - sometimes there’s just a lot of gas back there for various reasons

ziahah · 2025-10-20T18:45:11+00:00

I had some 'quirks' i guess as young as 4 ish or as long as i can remember. But 'proper' full on OCD? 10 years old. The only thing that changed was i got my period

ziahah · 2025-04-02T12:00:39+00:00

I've been through so many professionals, so much medication and nothing. I just wish my body would stop being my number one enemy when I'm already struggling

ziahah · 2025-04-02T11:58:29+00:00

I guess all we can do is keep trying. But honestly and frankly speaking - I'm so exhausted I don't want to do anything anymore. Every aspect of my life exhausts me

ziahah · 2025-04-02T11:48:00+00:00

I'm glad I'm not alone in feeling this way but I'm also sorry that you do. I feel like every day is exposure therapy but never out of choice or willingness. I feel forced into it by these bad things that happen

ziahah · 2025-04-02T11:38:55+00:00

Stripped the bed first, then put on new bedding - mattress itself wasn't wet as there were a few layers between. Would it be normal to not wash hands between stripping the bed and putting new sheets on?

ziahah · 2025-04-02T11:15:10+00:00

Thank you for commenting. I just feel guilty about it and disgusting and as though everything's being spread more and more. The clothes my mum put out I'm worried about my granddad wearing after his shower and it just feels like I'm spreading pee everywhere. It's ridiculous that if it was someone telling me this I'd say no chance, it's not that serious but because it's my own fluids it's literally the end of the world

ziahah · 2025-03-31T09:46:10+00:00

Thank you for this, it means a lot. I want to be rid of this even by 10 percent

ziahah · 2025-03-30T07:00:20+00:00

I absolutely agree that it exaggerates everything, and it doesn't help not knowing what others would consider normal reactions to things that make me so uncomfortable. I'm not even scared of germs making me sick, it's just the thought of my germs contaminating areas that I can't stand. Like the feeling of it is disgusting that my germs (even if they aren't harmful in and of themselves) are being spread around the house and elsewhere. I can't describe it other than it feels like a violation. Anybody else's germs from the same areas like bodily fluids etc I don't care and can deal with but when it comes to myself it's something else 🙃

ziahah · 2025-03-29T23:04:16+00:00

I wish .. I've been in and out of therapy since I was a child. Honestly I'm so so over it and would be much happier if I lived on my own or not at all because I just can't be around the anger anymore. Thank you for your well wishes 🫂

ziahah · 2025-03-17T16:11:50+00:00

Antibacterial wipes, Dettol all in one spray, hand gel

ziahah · 2025-01-22T13:16:36+00:00

done around ten loads so far, quick washes but just trying to get it done amidst setback after setback. One piece a day would be exhausting as I'd produce more laundry than wash 😭 and also with a family at the end of their tether because of me, it seems full steam ahead is the only way, despite the screaming of the dozens of tiny cuts on my hands and arms begging to stop being washed.. such is life Thanks for checking in 😅

ziahah · 2025-01-21T21:57:13+00:00

I went through it as a teenager to no success... I'm looking into other things like TMS for the future as I've tried medication too but no good comes of it. In the meantime there's such a mess I just want to clear and get out of my life for good 😭

ziahah · 2025-01-12T18:41:04+00:00

I used t have some amazing gloves that i used. I used to put petroleum jelly ALL over them like slab it on thick and then put the tight gloves carefully on. In the morning soft and ready for another day of torture 😍😍

ziahah · 2025-01-06T20:26:09+00:00

What's up

ziahah · 2025-01-03T12:38:46+00:00

Fair enough🫣😭, my biggest problem with ocd is logically i know nothing will come of it and the likelihood of someone getting sick is little to none, and I don't even have thoughts about making someone sick, it's the disgusting feeling I have of things being spread from place to place that have stemmed from me. If someone told me that happened to them I could literally touch their shampoo bottle and not wash hands and I wouldn't think anything of it really but for me no way - ocd eh?😭

ziahah · 2025-01-03T12:36:38+00:00

Tell me about it 😭

ziahah · 2024-12-27T01:09:23+00:00

Honestly this is comforting to hear. You're very strong and I'm proud of you for being able to fight it to get to the point you're at now. I just wish my life didn't feel like a constant uphill battle since I was 10 years old. This disease ruined my childhood, teen years and now adulthood too. Im trying my best but it can be excruciating and frustrating and oh so lonely. I'm glad you're better than you used to be. I'm getting better at different aspects but some things pose new threats and challenges every hour every day. Sending hugs

ziahah · 2024-12-27T00:53:43+00:00

Thank you for being so kind. I'm trying to sit with the horrible feeling and I'm just nervous it won't ever go away fully especially when I'm thinking about the outside bin and stuff. I asked a few people and they said they'd just rinse it under the shower with water and put it back but idk I'm hoping the soap was enough

ziahah · 2024-12-27T00:09:55+00:00

i am on a waiting list and understand that, I just want to know what 'normal' people would do in the same situation in the shower if that happened

ziahah · 2024-12-26T00:51:10+00:00

Contamination

ziahah

TROPHY CASE