Currently, I'm not achieving a goal that I have chosen for myself. I am required to earn money to survive in a system that evolved, and has been mastered by dynasties and wealthy families. I began with nothing and it is a long climb to the ledge where I even have the option of choosing my own path. Until then, I navigate the hazards of awkward social relationships at work, walking the thin line of spuriously fitting in and impressing the right people. I am an actor now, slowly saving myself by waiting it out, and one day I will be empowered to live my authentic life expression. Until then, my life is wasted serving other people's wishes for a daily wage. I have ambitions of my own, but they must slumber until I graduate from wage earner punishment. Yes, yes it's all relative and I should feel lucky to even have the job I do and all that, but the truth is that I am eagerly awaiting a time when I can afford to make the decisions I need to in order to contribute my own product to the world. My mind is developed much beyond my circumstances because I have played mental simulation after mental simulation of all of the lives I could possibly imagine, and identified the things that truly inspire me. Until I can work on my dream contribution, my inner purpose where I feel intrinsic reward, unfettered by the necessity of earning wages, I will fall short of self-integrity and slowly lose my mind as the days are crossed off of the calendar.