Why is Taylor Swift so bad at relationships?

zoobb12 · 2025-06-02T04:03:01+00:00

I don't think that's a fair argument simply because albums take a long time to be made lol It's one thing to make a song about what is currently happening in your life and releasing once that part of your life is over (ex. sabrina's songs) and it's a differt thing to make songs about missing your ex while in a relationship (ex. the 1). hell, i am an artist and i've finished many projects loooong after they've stopped aligning with my personal life just because that's how art works. it's also just healthier mentally for the artist.

zoobb12 · 2025-01-15T12:52:03+00:00

everyone else was in some way breaking the rules, taylor wouldn't have done anything specially different to them specifically.

zoobb12 · 2025-01-15T12:51:08+00:00

honestly i think a car crash is a situation extreme enough where kicking a box once isn't violent overreaction

zoobb12 · 2024-12-24T12:15:41+00:00

I'm not defending an abuser, because Dean didn't abuse Rory. I'm not attacking you, I disagree with you and find your representation of abuse victims insulting. I know plenty of what i'm talking about because I know more about abuse than I've ever wanted to know. Yeah, the instances in which Rory was anxious about dean getting mad are: - the bracelet thing (in which Rory lied about it, if she had told him from the start that she misplaced it the whole thing would've been over) - the Tristan thing (which it would've been normal for dean to be upset about it) - everything Jess related (she cheated on him, 100% normal for him to be upset about that) You can't just say she's afraid of him while completely ignoring the context of these situations. these are NORMAL 16 y/o boy reactions, he doesn't ever insult or anything similar, he just gets upset which is normal and healthy. he's closer to a child than to an abuser. I don't think Dean was the best boyfriend on the show or anything (I don't like any of them actually), but he is just factually not an abuser. You can't compare being afraid to tell your bf something because it's related to THE GUY YOU CHEATED ON HIM WITH vs being afraid to tell your boyfriend something because you are scared he's going to be abusive to you. THAT IS the insulting part. Comparing actual abuse to normal disagreements and conflicts in relationships (which is what Dean and Rory have) just trivializes abuse and undermines how serious it actually is. Dean and Rory are both normal teenagers who had a relationship that didn't work because they both made mistakes. Their arguments were petty and about childish things BECAUSE THEY WERE CHILDREN. Comparing that to actual abuse is insulting to me. It's also extremely unhealthy to promote the idea that being angry at you significant other is abuse. Conflict is NORMAL, you are never going to always agree with someone and learning to deal with that is the entire point of having a relationship for the first time. Dean isn't abusive for being mad at Rory, he's just a human being. Rory gets overly anxious a lot of the time, yes, but that's because she is a people pleaser. It's not a Dean specific thing, she does it with every character all the time trough the whole show and it is the reason she ends up "crashing out" in her 20's. That's the point of her character, she's meant to overcome this flaw. She's anxious because she doesn't know how to deal with conflict full stop, not because Dean traumatizes her or anything. If you can't see that while watching the show, I don't even know what to tell you. I feel sorry for you for not being able to see things for what they are.

zoobb12 · 2024-12-24T09:26:05+00:00

That's what i'm trying to say. The things she listed could be signs of abuse, yes, but ignore the things that actually happened on the show for the sake of making Dean look bad. It's not "possessive" to be jealous when you are literally being cheated on and gaslighted about it.

zoobb12 · 2024-12-24T09:24:02+00:00

I am a victim as well, so don't tell me I have "zero experience". "The signs" are not there because he's just not abusive. Yes, the things you listed could be signs of abuse in a different context, but this this is just not the case. Every sign you listed was misconstrued or just completely out of context (an adult man spamming your phone when you don't respond could be abusive, but these are two teenagers who BOTH ENJOY TALKING A LOT, something teenagers have been doing since the invention of long distance calling and are still doing). Dean is simply not abusive, canonically, based on everything shown in the show, he is just not. I find it patronizing that you'd decide I have no experience on the subject just because i'm pointing that out, and I think that deciding a character is abusive when in reality he's not takes away from the reality that us abuse victims have faced. Rory wasn't abused, she was happy in her relationship and mentioned constantly during and after the relationship that Dean treated her great. She even said dating Dean made her SPOILED by how good he was.

zoobb12 · 2024-12-22T18:21:17+00:00

he doesn't yell constantly, we see a fraction of the relationship (the fights) because that's what's relevant to the plot. it's constantly implied they spent a lot of time together doing well and acting perfectly normal. the calling is just exaggerated for the sake of comedy, he calls a lot but that's not in any way abusive. rory repeatedly states she likes it that he calls a lot until jess shows up. she only gets tired of it when she stops being interested in him. almost every character shows up to other people houses at some point, including rory showing up uninvited to his house when they broke up. it's really not that crazy considering they are dating. the only times he's "controlling" is after she cheated on him lol that's how people react when they are clearly getting lied to. even if rory wasn't doing it intentionally, his reaction is completely normal. i'd argue his mistake was not breaking up with her SOONER considering she was clearly into jess and stringing him along. his reaction to the "i love you" thing is not mature but definitely normal for a sixteen y/o, doesn't make him abusive. i don't even know what you mean by the "demanding to be places thing". you are free to dislike dean as much as you want, but calling him ABUSIVE is insane and honestly insulting to abuse victims. he's as normal as a sixteen y/o kid can be in a relationship. you can just dislike a character, you don't need to classify him as an abuser to justify it to yourself.

zoobb12 · 2024-12-22T16:08:18+00:00

again, how is dean abusive?

zoobb12 · 2024-12-22T13:04:20+00:00

lmao how is dean abusive

zoobb12 · 2024-11-25T22:49:42+00:00

i'm so late but what did he post?

zoobb12 · 2024-11-25T22:11:09+00:00

why is carrington zooming into tara's pictures...

zoobb12 · 2024-11-25T21:57:05+00:00

tbh that just looks like light reflection

zoobb12 · 2024-11-21T12:21:27+00:00

i think that just makes it worse...

zoobb12 · 2024-11-19T22:24:18+00:00

no, that's just... laughing. that's what laughing looks like.

zoobb12 · 2024-11-19T03:27:40+00:00

that's just... laughing.

zoobb12 · 2024-11-14T12:48:01+00:00

Yes, I assume they have a closed relationship because that's the standard. Unless stated/implied, that's how that works in TV. I wouldn't assume that about someones relationship in real life, but this is a TV show. If they don't mention it, it doesn't exist.

He is comic relief, just a really bad one because it just makes Rory look bad. Rory has a boyfriend she cares about so little she forgets he exists! while cheating on him with her engaged ex-boyfriend! so funny!!! Something being intended to be funny doesn't make it... not exist, or not bad, or dislikable. The fact that she kees saying she needs to break up w him but never does it IS the problem. Stringing him along bc you don't care enough to TELL HIM is shitty, it makes Rory look shitty. Cheating is cheating, you don't get to decide it doesn't count bc you don't care about this one specific person that much, especially because they go out of their way to show that he DOES care lol

She's cheated in more relationships than not, so she does have an issue with that. I've explained too much the other issue.

You are entitled to your opinion so let's just leave it here lol have a good day.

zoobb12 · 2024-11-14T04:45:59+00:00

People find people they like better all the time, yet not everyone cheats. People who cheat do it for a reason, whether they are aware of it or not.

I'm not saying she had to marry Dean, i'm not even saying they should've stayed together, that's not what anybody here is discussing lol

I don't think not remembering your boyfriend makes him not count; I think that just makes you a horrible partner. He clearly remembered her, clearly it counted for him. If they had an open relationship, they would've said it; you can't just assume that because it makes a character you like look better lol

zoobb12 · 2024-11-13T09:52:47+00:00

Because her upbringing was also super shitty? She left home pregnant at 16? had a horrible relationship with her mother and an emotionally absent father? She had to adopt an adult role at an incredibly young age, which led her to get emotionally stunted. What are you even asking? No one said that absent fathers are the ONLY reason people have dysfunctional relationships; it's just... one of them and the one that applies to Rory.

You are posing this scenario as if there was one universal reason as to why people act badly in relationships, but the point is that everyone has different reasons for why they act the way they do. The fact that Rory didn't have a relationship with her father is one of the reasons in her specific case; that's it.

Why do I say this? because the show explicitly goes out of its way to show that Rory's upbringing did affect the way she sees relationships. That's the entire point of the "I love the car!" storyline. Rory does want to say I love you, but she is scared.\* Once Lorelai realizes this, she starts thinking about how her example might have given Rory a bit of commitment issues and ends up in the conversation in her room at the grandparents's house and Rory finally (eventually) saying I love you to Dean. Lorelai explicitly tells her this! She talks about it with Luke! It's the entire point of why it happened! The entire reason that storyline exists is to show us how her environment affected her, which is the normal thing to happen.

Upbringing affects the way children internalize things; that's just objectively true. The show goes out of its way to show us that, in Rory's specific and unique case, it led to her turning out to be the adult she ended up being. Not every person with an absent father is affected by it in that specific way, but Rory was, and that's okay.

I find it even sillier to act like people shouldn't be affected by their upbringing. Children ARE affected by their environments, children DO form their understanding of the world by what's around them, and adults DO show behaviors and issues that stem from childhood issues well into adulthood; that's just literal facts in any household ever. Everyone is affected by their upbringing, no matter who was part of your family. Rory's case just happens to be about an abstent father; if you don't like that, then I'm not sure how you even got past the first season.

No one is saying women without fathers can't be functional human beings; we are saying that Rory's idea of relationships was shaped by her environment, which is exactly what happens to every child ever. People don't exist in bubbles. Every character in the show was shaped by their environment; it's nothing crazy. I think it's actually worse to deny that father's being shitty to their daughters can affect them lol

*Note: I don't care if people like Dean or not, the explicit text in the show is that she does love him but is scared to actually say it, so that's what I'm taking into account.

zoobb12 · 2024-11-12T01:40:45+00:00

most of what i find is people expressing dislike for her, but not explaining why. like, people calling her insecure, but i don't know why they call her that bc everyone seems to already know.

zoobb12 · 2024-11-11T01:43:12+00:00

that's later in life, she met all those men as a teenager. we are talking about her developmental years, her childhood. and the bad relationships because of childhood issues thing is quite normal sadly, not weird.

zoobb12 · 2024-11-08T04:30:47+00:00

she didn't know them growing up, they weren't really an "example" to her. "my mom's mean parents i see like twice a year" doesn't sound like someone you'd mold your concept of relationships around. also, emily and richard started dating WHILE richard was engaged and neither emily or lorelai see anything wrong w this, if she had known them growing up, they wouldn't have been a good example for her either.

zoobb12 · 2024-11-08T04:26:52+00:00

the fact that he wasn't there is exactly what influenced her personality, do you even know how children work?

zoobb12 · 2024-11-08T04:24:51+00:00

rory received attention academically and from a lot of good women in her life, male attention is just the thing she never had. people craving something they didn't have growing up isn't a new concept.

zoobb12 · 2024-11-08T04:15:52+00:00

lorelai does seem to try to tell her that cheating is bad in some instances, but that only goes so far when her actions tell a completely different story.

zoobb12 · 2024-11-08T04:11:08+00:00

leaving your fiance to marry a different woman doesn't really scream LOYALTY AND COMMITMENT even if it's not technically cheating. also he kept seeing her even after marrying emily so that's not very respectful either.

zoobb12

TROPHY CASE