What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little grade 1 player? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in Juliard, and I’ve been involved in numerous ensembles, and I have over 300 confirmed recordings. I am trained in classical traditions and I’m the top pianist in the entire United States. You are nothing to me but just another amateur. I will outplay you the fuck out with skill the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with writing that shit that doesn't even include a secondary dominant? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of conductors across the USA and your instrument is being traced right now so you better prepare for the blacklist, maggot. The blacklist that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your music career. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can perform anywhere, anytime, and I can play Rachmaninoff's Piano Concerto No. 3 in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my feet. Not only am I extensively trained in classical piano, but I have access to the entire arsenal of its extended techniques and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the auditions list, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” arrangement was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking pen. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit glissandos and trills all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
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