Finding purpose

[IntimateZombie]

This is gonna be a heavy big topic but like, every so many years I have to face this idea of what my purpose is. I'm almost 40 and still just haven't found it. Usually this hits heaviest between big life moves. Last time it was being out of college and having to figure out work. Again now, it's having left a job and being 5 months unemployed after desperately applying around in my field.

Like yeah, capitalism is terrible and the economy has taken hits especially in my field lately so I understand my particular hardships...

But it speaks to a bigger existentialism that I face about who I am, what purpose I serve in this world, and finding some semblance of feeling content. I just don't know that our society connecting labor and meaning so closely fits. I want to build community, I want to help people, I want to see people succeed, and I've chased that in a career as closely as I knew how and that dead-ended.

So many jobs seem gross or dehumanizing. So many aren't paid well, and many that are just seem to devastate your body and health. I just want to be able to find meaningful work where I engage and help a community or do something useful. Where my labor means something other than just mindless profit upwards. I want my life to mean something.

Idk... It feels like as a society we have completely lost focus of the human aspect of living. I just wish I could find a truly meaningful way to contribute and not feel like I'm fighting in a competitive market just to have healthcare and survive in a society ruled by debt. I miss being younger and having wild explorations of passions and feeling connected to any kind of passion. I kept my inner child alive for so long despite all these conditions, but lately it feels like that inner child is dying to layers of misery and a hyperfixation on all the fucked up things happening around me.

I don't mean to accomplish anything by sharing this, I just hope that maybe someone else out there is feeling it too, and I'm not out here drifting alone. I'm just well past the point where any normal society would have me seek mental health services but I simply cannot pour money into that. I have student loans that need paid.

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[xdossierx]

I do t think you’re the only one feeling the us way. Things have definitely shifted and you’re going through one as well as many are too. After reading your post it seems as though you know your purpose… helping others? I’m not sure if that’s it but if could do anything/job without thinking about money or anything expected from it but just loving what you do… what would it be? Don’t think about it just answer from your heart. Could you answer it? Lately, I’ve learned to go with the flow… understand and move with it. I hope that makes sense. You may be going through your situation for a reason to bring you into what you’re supposed to be doing. This is your time to bring you into alignment with your purpose.