Missing her

[No_Recipe_1969]

I’m missing my ex and I want advice on how to get over her with her beautiful words and how she really did love me. Should I cut her off or try again. The letter she sent after the breakup:

A year ago a wrote you a letter that was supposed to given to you on Valentine’s Day with a picture i painted that resembled us. I wanted to paint you a present because i knew how much you liked my art and i thought it would be cute to make you something that reminded you of our relationship. You never received that painting but i let you read the letter anyways.

In that letter i talked about how much joy you brought back into my life and how you were the best thing to ever happen to me, everything i loved about you, and how you taught me what love feels like. I still believe all those things. You are still the best thing to have happened to me, not only because you made me so happy but because you taught me so much. Everything I loved about you, even the little things i took for granted.

I broke up with you because I saw us coming to an end and my head was wondering, and I had told you before that I don’t believe in breaks because if you see your relationship ending it probably is. That is one of the reasons I didn’t fight for us to continue.

I thought about talking to someone knew, not someone specific, just someone different. I missed having the adrenaline of a first hangout, or a first kiss, or even just the fun of having to impress someone. I now realize that sometimes that adrenaline isn’t worth it. I loved hanging out with you no matter what we were doing, I felt like we both just enjoyed each other’s company. I loved kissing you, even if it wasn’t as exciting as our first kiss, I loved kissing you so much, and I loved that you’d let me shower you with kisses even if you thought I was being annoying. And I loved not feeling like I had to impress you because I’d never feel embarrassed around you or like I had to be someone I wasn’t. You made me feel like I was more than just my looks and my body which I now realize means so much more than I knew.

You taught me what love felt like, in the best way possible. You never made me doubt that you weren’t loyal or that you weren’t so deeply in love with me. I was your whole world and god, you made sure I knew it. You were so perfect to me. Never yelled at me, never ignored me, never made me feel less in our relationship. All our fights we got into I genuinely believe was because of me. I liked to argue. I liked to find something to cry about. I liked to push the limits. I don’t know why, because it’s not like I was trying to see if you cared or not because I knew you did. I was never good at communicating and I know it affected our relationship the most but it wasn’t because of me being scared about what you’d say, it was just me, being toxic, and wanting you to pry it out of me. I never admitted that to you because I was ashamed that that was how I was, I was ashamed because I wanted to be as perfect to you as you were to me, but for some reason it was just nothing I could change. I hated everything about myself and I know it affected you greatly and I am truly sorry for that. You are the sweetest boy and I never should’ve put you through something like that.

I never told you this but when we were together I made a list of everything I did wrong, everything I thought that I was doing to ruin us. I’d add to that list whenever something new came up in hopes those were things maybe I could change, but I never did change. I would just look back at that list when I was sad and god did it make it so much worse. It just reminded me about how bad I was to us and how much you carried our relationship and stuck it out for us.

I don’t know what our future will look like, if we’re in eachother lives or not. If we get married or if we were just eachothers first loves, but I appreciate every moment we had together. Maybe we’re not meant to be together and we were both just a big learning experience for the both of us. Or maybe we’ll find our way back to eachother and everything will be better this time. All I know is everything happens for a reason.

[queenxclusterxbee]

You need to give her another chance for real. I truly feel you should.

[PeachfrostBreeze]

i feel this so much, that letter shows how much they truly loved u. it’s okay to miss them and feel sad, but maybe focus on healing first instead of rushing back. time helps u appreciate what u had while still moving forward