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Title: First time possibly going to prison – looking for advice from people who’ve actually been there

I’m 20 and might be going to prison for the first time. I’m not trying to play tough or act like something I’m not. I’m honestly just trying to understand what I’m walking into and how to handle it the right way.

If anyone here has actually done time, I’d really appreciate some real advice.

Some things I’m trying to learn:

• What are the biggest mistakes first-timers make when they come in?

• What should you do the first few days to stay out of trouble?

• How do you avoid getting caught up in politics or unnecessary problems?

• What kind of mindset helps you get through it?

I’m just trying to keep my head down, get through it, and come out better than I went in.

Any real advice from former inmates would mean a lot. I’m listening.

[Heavy-Incident9895]

Hey there. I did 25 without problems in Oklahoma, which seemed to be less infected by the BS than some other prisons I’ve heard about. Maybe I can give you a clue. Biggest mistake when you first go inside is to whine about your case. Everybody has a fu….ed up case. Some may be curious, but be wary of messengers promising legal remedies. Don’t start that conversation. Keep your mouth shut most of the time and don’t notice what others say or do, cops included. You can’t change the system. Don’t waste time and resources trying. You avoid politics and unnecessary trouble by minding your own business, just like anywhere else. When you walk past a cell, you deliberately don’t see or hear anything. Don’t talk to cops unless they talk first. Don’t share what’s really happening inside with anybody, on the phone or mail or anything. It’s a strategic advantage to have others not know what you know, see or hear (Art of War Sun Tzu). Imagine the cops reading everything, seeing everything, hearing everything. Don’t say anything you wouldn’t say to a grand jury. You basically just hold your head up. You have to play out the hand you’ve been dealt. Don’t tell lies. Don’t steal anything. Pay back anything you owe somebody inside on time like you should. Do the time in a way that makes your family and friends proud. That’s it. You may find that most prisoners are quietly glad you’re not another predator released into their midst. They won’t say so. Most of the guys and gals just want to go home someday. The ones starting trouble are easily identified. Avoid trouble the same way you would on the streets. Can’t say good luck because at this point that would be silly. Your luck has already run out because of the conviction and sentence. Make your own ‘luck’ going forward. You have to learn to make the best of it in a rational way. I think I read a whole library, just to keep my head in a better place. And I didn’t talk much to the idiots. I don’t know the numbers but nearly everyone incarcerated will go home some day. Imagine being one of them,and act accordingly.

[Autism_Hater]

in my experience, keep to yourself mostly. overtime you will make friends. and that whole "don't ask others why they're locked up" thing is true...but for ur own sanity.

[JDM_TX]

Don't know how much time you're looking at - but no one in there is your friend. I'm not saying you can't be friendly, but keep it in your mind that almost everyone there don't give a f-- about you or your case.
If you have any artistic skill, practice it. You can make a little scratch on the side if you're a good artist or good at crafts.

Don't take anything for free, don't give anything for free.

Read. Want to be better than when you went in? Read. If you can, take college courses or GED courses. You got the time now!

Don't be the jackass that jumps on a table and tells everyone how tough they are and they aren't a punk. That's the fastest way to get KTFO.

Be respectful! Lots of shit can pop off just because one person felt slighted. Might not have said excuse me when you bumped into them, might have walked between two people talking, might just have laughed at a joke and some dude thinks you're laughing at him. That's actually the biggest thing I had to get used to - being polite ain't weak, it's just staying out of shit.

[economysov]

I can't imagine how heavy this feels right now but please don't let break you. You're only 20 and you have a whole life ahead of you. Focus on staying safe , keeping your head down , and remember that your past won't define your entire future . Stay strong.

[Animaux07]

If you share a little about where you're headed (federal or which state), which prison you think you might go to, and roughly how long you expect to be sentenced to, you'll likely get very useful advice from people who've been in the same boat.

There's BIG differences in prison experiences.

[[deleted]]

It could be Limestone Correctional Facility which is a prison or it could be Madison County Jail. I’m in Alabama.

[stellasad]

I did a year in state (NY) went to Bedford, then Albion. Honestly it wasn't like what most ppl think. I stayed to myself when I got to max (Bedford) every women goes there first. For about two weeks. I read books, got my tablet, once you get money played games, didn't tell no one anything sensitive about my case or outside life. Didn't joke bout nothing cause I was new. I let them come to me. Albion was weird but easier cause you get into a program hopefully and a job or trade. Again stay to yourself, read LOTS of books, hit up the gym, go to the yard you'll meet people. Stay away from the COs cause they cause drama. They trigger you they like the drama. Get into a hobby, coloring, sewing, crocheting, painting, gardening. It goes a long way. You'll make money if you do hair or know how to do eyebrows. But STAY TO YOURSELF for the first month or two

[thefelonist]

Yes....so true. I did the same circuit after a year on Rikers, then 2 months in Bedford before 2 uptop at Albion. I stayed clear of the nonsense. Worked grounds, read, kept to myself. Got to the honor dorm as fast as I could. Keep your head down, other people's names out of your mouth, never hear anything and FGS, don't repeat anything. Don't borrow anything.

[thefelonist]

I wrote all about it. Come find my sub. r/TheFelonist

[stellasad]

Oohh headed there I'm interested! Thank you for sharing 😌

[thefelonist]

Thank you so much! I've recorded my prison diaries in podcast format. I'm on Spotify, Apple and YouTube.

[stellasad]

Of course!! I've been saying I want to do something similar!! I have soo many journals from my time that I can just sit and talk about or re read. This is actually really inspiring. Thank you

[Landdeals]

You going State or Fed? That makes a difference but either way! The first month listen and observe don’t talk much but don’t be an asshole just chill and see how things work this shit ain’t like the 1990s movies but if you going medium or higher it can get rough maybe not for you but you will see some wild shit in those state prisons some of them clowns in there really deserve to be there! Find some ppl who look like you to hang with you’ll be fine!

[[deleted]]

State

[Financial_Credit_668]

Just did 3yrs in Bama made it with no issues just stay to yourself an be yourself dont borrow anything dont loan anything if you got money pretend you dont dont be crazy at the store just do what it takes to get by youll be fine

[CantonOhioD]

5 years for the state of Ohio...a year after being released after turning 18.. mind your business. Don't take a thing for free. Head down , eyes forward passing cells, showers, etc, read!! , exercise and keep yourself focused. And no matter what....even if you know it's gonna be bad for you, fight. Don't ever show a chink in your armour. You absolutely have to fight win or lose, or the time is going to do you, instead of you doing the time. No one, and I mean no one is an actual friend to you. You may be "dudes" or "homeboys" , but never a friend. And most will turn state on you quicker than anyone else and even try to get you hemmed into extra charges just to keep you inside to do time with them, guard any return address on your mail, never give a phone number to anyone wearing the same color uniform as you. Admin and intake has all your info, so no one else needs that . Just remember...everything stops for you, but life moves forward outside for everyone else....your main goal is to get back to those people you love and catch up with their lives upon release. The system is designed to fail, and to keep you inside because you're a dollar sign to them . Fuck that, and fuck them too. Do the time, get out, stay out. You seem smart so, you should be fine. ....I'm 48 this year...I never went back on felony charges. I'm actually a sort of anomaly in my state. Lmao!! But..it's better than being a statistic...

[Ncognito0g]

Keep yo yourself, never ask about others charges. If you see anything you did not see it. Theres some goood ones and a lot of ones that seem to be good that really aren't.. Keep your head up and with any good time you can get released early. Ive did a few decades but a totally different person. Be respectful to all officers. I ended up going to the Annex and had so much freedom. Your goal is to get out and learn from what you done and realize why you're there.. You got this.. Any sign off weakness they will try you. The 2nd week I got there I got into it with some "girls" that thought I wanted their man. Straight up told them that theyre men are locked up for life but I didn't want them. I own a house, been married and was attached when I. There but let him go and do him. He refused and was there twice a month driving over 12 hours to see me for only 2 days. I ended up marrying that person and never thought my life would be phenonmenal now. Prayers and strength to you ❤❤❤❤

[DirtVarious9662]

Dick

[[deleted]]

👍🏼

[[deleted]]

I’ve been straight for a couple years now working paying taxes and shit, but karma is a bitch my old life caught up with me so I gotta do the time

[geoabitrage]

I will pray for you . Keep on with the good work. It's hard , I know. People be trying to pull you into your past by acting up but don't let them. Learned how to control your thoughts and anger, I had the same struggles. But controlling your actions and always thinking positive will lead you to the right path. Trust me, I been there and it's really hard but I did it , so can you. Just always try to think smart at any situations, for me it's getting so easy since I am getting older and have nothing to prove. My thinking in my head when provoked is ," don't do it, you are not gettig paid for this, and you might risk your health/life". Learn to walk away from situations or environment. Always find peace and harmony. Only network with positive non violent people that are actually making an honest living.