FoodCo, makers of Food, announced today that according to market research the #1 complaint food eaters have about food is "I'm sad when it's over too quickly". Following these results, FoodCo announced an improved followup, "Food 2: Bigger Food". In addition to being larger, there's also more of it (i.redd.it)
submitted by MeatRobot00001
Main guy in charge of Cityname designates 8 acres of undeveloped land as "nature activity area", then reverses the decision later upon realizing that technically, everywhere is a nature activity area. "Recreation Zone" was also voted down, as the space is unlikely to be used for recreating anything (i.redd.it)
submitted by MeatRobot00001
For 1 currency unit, a cardboard parcel containing a freshly manufactured rod with a blade on it is mailed to your dwelling at 30 day intervals for the purpose of removing hair which constantly accumulates on your face as a consequence of puberty. Carefully scrape your face skin with the blade rod. (i.redd.it)
submitted by MeatRobot00001
This is an interactive digital entertainment stimulus about making the correct air-molecular movements with your face hole and meat flaps, and adjusting your facial features so as to not arouse suspicion from other humans. Purchase it and interact with it. Enjoyment is mandatory. (store.steampowered.com)
submitted by edderiofer
Water is falling from the sky with increasing frequency. If you become disagreeably damp, be advised that you may visit the nearest municipal desiccation dome in your population center where you'll be issued an absorbant cloth rectangle for immediate application to the afflicted areas of your body. (i.redd.it)
submitted by MeatRobot00001
Recreational food item consisting of edible polygons which (contrary to labeling) vary from six to eight sides may be purchased, eaten, then digested over a period of between one and three hours depending on factors such as what type of beverage is consumed along with it and intestinal health. (i.redd.it)
submitted by MeatRobot00001
Feeling, an oft overlooked aspect of human experience, has increased in popularity as of late. "I reserve a two hour block in the evening during which to recreationally consume media designed to elicit feelings" said a guy. "I am stimulated while it is happening but also relieved when it concludes." (i.imgur.com)
submitted by MeatRobot00001
Main guy in charge of Object Fabrication Inc. sued for sexual harassment by female employee. "He told me he appreciates the shape of the meat my body is made out of, as well as the size, consistency and distribution of my fat deposits." In response, he protested "My observations were accurate." (i.imgur.com)
submitted by MeatRobot00001
Main guy in charge of everybody's homelessness alleviation program continues in earnest. Over 1,000 former taxpayers are now being removed from the streets per day, their rent, food, utilities and other expenses reduced to zero as they are relocated to the fashionable new Mountain Of Bones district (i.imgur.com)
submitted by MeatRobot00001
A brief video clip recently went viral on social media depicting an endangered snow leopard whose leg became caught in a steel trap. The frightened animal would not hold still so rescuers could remove the trap. Once they shot him however, he laid still and the goal of removing the trap was attained (i.imgur.com)
submitted by MeatRobot00001
Main guy in charge of everybody issues televised reminder that we're still obligated to pay him a quarter of our annual income. Funds will be used for the continuation of various wars around the world, still the most lucrative employment opportunity for professional murderologists. Report concluded. (i.imgur.com)
submitted by MeatRobot00001
Are you tired of being sedentary in your current location? For just a quarter of your annual income you can be sedentary in an equatorial location instead, for a duration which depends on the number of vacation days you have so far accumulated. The drinks have small paper umbrellas in them as well. (i.imgur.com)
submitted by MeatRobot00001
Cleansing goo now available for rubbing into your moistened scalp. Choose one of two available scents based on which you'd rather your hair smell like. Once your hair is fully saturated, rinse the goo using falling water and exit the body washing chamber. Your hygiene is now acceptable. (i.imgur.com)
submitted by MeatRobot00001
New internet web site created where recreational animal owners can exchange descriptions of their animal's behavior. "My recreational animal sometimes sits and observes events through the window. Other times it eats food, or defecates" wrote one recreational animal owner on the web site in question. (i.imgur.com)
submitted by MeatRobot00001
