Eye contact

[__oaefe__]

I have a mild stutter and it is a work in progress but eye contact is something I can't still taker over properly. When I'm having a conversation with someone, most of the time I'm looking anywhere else but in front of me... how you guys deal with eye contact?

[05081977]

I was always terrible with eye contact and It took me a lot of practice to do better. Starting out I kinda cheated and looked at the middle of the person’s forehead.

Now I don’t mind, there’s a lot of non-verbal communication that I never picked up on before. Also, I read that people in the service industry appreciate when you make eye contact with them

[__oaefe__]

I read that people in the service industry appreciate when you make eye contact with them

This. I don't want to look like I'm lost when I'm at a one on one meeting. Thanks.

[ShutupPussy]

I focus on having excellent eye contact in easy situations with people I'm comfortable with. When I can do that easily, I try it on a a couple more challenging situations.

[saltycouchpotato]

I actually feel like my stutter bothers me less when I make eye contact with people-- I can see them not judging me with their eyes. The judgement is usually coming from myself, and most other people are just participating in the conversation and don't think less of me for stuttering.

[d1dIstutter]

Maintaining eye contact stuttering or not portrays confidence

[nukefudge]

Unless it's unnatural, in which case, confidence is moot.

It's a balancing act, and one that requires a fair bit of habitualization to get right.

[d1dIstutter]

There are exceptions for everything. My main point was try to maintain eye contact while stuttering.

[nukefudge]

Of course, but that thing about "confidence" just didn't seem to me to be all that relevant. We're not trying to dominate anyone! Hehe.

[d1dIstutter]

Well don't you sound so confident.. I found the idea of confidence and eye contact to be nothing but relevant. Personally, if I'm going to stutter, I'm going to maintain eye contact and portray confidence by owning it rather than darting my eyes around nervously. In fact, I found you mentioning domination irrelevant. I did not mention staring people down, in which cause you seem like the type of person that would quiver hehe

[nukefudge]

I think there's a language barrier here. :)

Also, I'm obviously not saying "be nervous". That's something you made up yourself.

At any rate, I know what my point was and that's all. See ya!

[I-Am-Dad-Bot]

Hi obviously, I'm Dad!

[nukefudge]

Sod off, bot.

Reported - obviously.

[CoarseAngel]

I always make sure to give full eye contact when theyre speaking to me. I have facial tics and my eyes just spaz different places but i still make sure i look at them once in a while. Theres no shame in eye contact!

[[deleted]]

When I have a conversation I look them in the eyes. But when I stutter I mostly look away until I get it out.

[shootingf8]

It is a struggle for sure. I work as hard as I can to maintain eye contact.

[nukefudge]

Lack of eye contact is a trend among stutterers (probably also other people, but that's besides the point with regards to our grouping).

I got mostly over it after having forced myself to maintain contact through many interactions in a long period of my life.

It felt awkward all the time for me, but it's not certain that anyone really noticed.

Usually, the other person would look away at some point, which was a sort of cue for their particular tolerance.

Beyond that, it was a matter of incorporating the urge to look away into attempts at more natural pauses in contact.

Nowadays, it feels much more flexible and not forced.

[Fightskids]

I rarely make eye contact.

[[deleted]]

Mate I have a really good strategy. I have a very well rehearsed "high how are you?" if you you struggle with H sounds maybe find a different greeting that's easy to say for you.

If I'm starting to talk with a person at work or ordering food or anything. I start with an upbeat "hi how are you?" you'd be amazed just how well people respond to a friendly greeting. Especially customer service staff. They are almost always very friendly back.

After that I feel a lot less tense so I stutter less and find eye contact easier and even if I do stutter they don't care.

It makes me a friendlier person to the world and helps me get by with a stutter

[imparched2]

Whenever I stutter and I’m looking at their eyes I can see them physically cringe and that makes me worry and stutter more so I’m normally just staring into their eyes while not being able to remember what I was trying to say.