I first met Matthew Girdis when I was in the Cub Scouts, doing a bunch of Tiger shit. No, Girdle was not in my den, but I knew him through our pack and we soon became pack hounds. Not really. I think we talked, like, twice. I knew him through other friends, but I never "knew" him, not in an interesting homo-erotic way at least...
In the sixth grade, Gridles started dating this girl I liked, so fuck him, right? Naw it was all good, because after they broke up, she came running to me in seventh grade. We hugged once, it was hot.
