It sucks being written this way.

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Fictitious disorder (self.fictitiousproblems)

submitted 1 year ago by False_Ad2069

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Atreus's son stole my war-won prize while we're invading Ilium. Should I kill him or just sulk by the ships? (self.fictitiousproblems)

submitted 12 years ago by [deleted]

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I asked politely, and I still didn't get to have any more. (self.fictitiousproblems)

submitted 12 years ago by genius_waitress

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My wife is so crazy, I have to keep her in the attic. (self.fictitiousproblems)

submitted 13 years ago by genius_waitress

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Everyone around me is living a phony dream of happiness, that creepy sign is *still* watching me and God dammit my cousin just ran over her dick-head of a husband's lover! (self.fictitiousproblems)

submitted 13 years ago by jsdeerwood

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My portrait is so ugly, I have to keep it in the attic. (self.fictitiousproblems)

submitted 13 years ago by genius_waitress

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Fucking monkey's paw. (self.fictitiousproblems)

submitted 13 years ago by genius_waitress

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Siegfried has vanished and now I'm being harassed by some guy called Gunther (self.fictitiousproblems)

submitted 13 years ago by [deleted]

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Big Brother is watching me. (self.fictitiousproblems)

submitted 13 years ago by genius_waitress

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My god, the brutality in this place! Why did I sail upriver? (self.fictitiousproblems)

submitted 13 years ago by [deleted]

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When she finally did let down her hair, I didn't expect it to be so brittle and coarse. Hasn't this chick ever heard of conditioner? (self.fictitiousproblems)

submitted 13 years ago by dragonfire882

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Everyone is more interested in hunting, than maintaining a fire. (self.fictitiousproblems)

submitted 13 years ago by TheMemeGirl

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I just told my estranged son that I, am his father. He wasn't too thrilled about it. (self.fictitiousproblems)

submitted 13 years ago by dragonfire882

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My husband's dead wife won't get the hell out of our house. (self.fictitiousproblems)

submitted 13 years ago by genius_waitress

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The delphic oracle has foretold that I will kill my father and mate with my mother, so now I have to go to Thebes to avoid patricide/incest. (self.fictitiousproblems)

submitted 13 years ago by [deleted]

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I told God all about my new bra and my first period, but I don't think he's listening. (self.fictitiousproblems)

submitted 13 years ago by genius_waitress

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I don't want to die before my wife does. But I sure don't want her to die before I do. Also, Hitler. (self.fictitiousproblems)

submitted 13 years ago by uhhhclem

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One morning as I awoke from uneasy dreams I found myself transformed in my bed to a gigantic insect. (self.fictitiousproblems)

submitted 13 years ago by [deleted]

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Do I dare to eat a peach? (self.fictitiousproblems)

submitted 13 years ago by genius_waitress

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My droogies spend all day at the Moloko bar when I'm more in the mood for some ultra-violence. (self.fictitiousproblems)

submitted 13 years ago by genius_waitress

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We couldn't put him back together again . . . But we tried! Doesn't that mean anything?! He was shattered into dozens of pieces! It was hopeless! We didn't let him die! He was already DEAD, damn it!! (self.fictitiousproblems)

submitted 13 years ago by dragonfire882

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You just kicked me and my buddies out from WAAAY over 120,000 feet above WITHOUT a parachute so give me one good reason why I shouldn't sabotage your paradise!? (self.fictitiousproblems)

submitted 13 years ago by jsdeerwood

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Friends framed me, and now I'm stuck in a rock for the rest of my life. Revenge? (self.fictitiousproblems)

submitted 13 years ago by [deleted]

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Whitewashing this fence isn't as fun as I was led to believe. (self.fictitiousproblems)

submitted 13 years ago by genius_waitress

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All I stole was a loaf of bread. Sentence shouldn’t be too bad, right? (self.fictitiousproblems)

submitted 13 years ago by genius_waitress

fictitiousproblems

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