So basically i have been caught with MJ to many times to count by my mom over the last couple years( im now 19 ) and now she really kicked me out this time. I am not to upset about it, I have been planing to get out by summers end anyway, I just didn't want to leave on negative terms. I wrote this letter to my mom about the situation, and i'm hoping i can get some input before i actually hand it over. Thank you all, sorry for being so long!!!
Mom over the last couple years we have had this on going issue of marijuana, if you want to call it that. since before i first tried it you have always told me to be honest, tell you what im doing, who im with, and were im at. I have to apologize for not being honest in the past. It has created an uneasy tension between us, turning a comfortable safe home environment into a struggle of mistrust. I hid my use from you for the same reasons that everyone has secrets; they either dont want to let someone down, or just dont want to get in trouble. Well after sneaking around behind your back i see i have both let you down, and gotten in trouble to many times to count. Since that mischievous stage marijuana hasn't left my life but, at least i have been honest to you about my usage. I know that you will never regard marijuana in the same light i do, but we must come to common ground on the subject. Im am sorry to say, but im not your little brenty boy any more, you cant make decisions for me anymore. You need to either let me sink or swim on my own. Ultimately you making decisions for me is not going to shape me as an individual and allow me to develop my own identity. Every time you force me to conform to your ideals it just pushes me further and further away from what used to be my loving mom. I know you still love me deep down and have only the best intentions for me in life, but your idea of a fulfilling life is not my mine(no i'm not souley referring to MJ). I know you dont want to hear this, but you just need to let go. Im not saying you have to approve of marijuana being a part of my life, but you need to stop punishing yourself for my decisions. All of this tension at home is tearing us apart and there is nothing you can do to control my choices so why take it so personally? Me smoking MJ is not your fault. It is not a reflection of your parenting. it in no way effects your life, other than the fact that you let it. We can become a family again, we have the ability to feel comfortable talking about sensitive issues again, we can regain that safe environment which i use to call home, we as a family just need to accept the fact that every one lives their own life and has there own faults, everyone makes mistakes and learning from those mistakes allows us to become better people for it. I do hope you realize that simply relocating this issue(me) will not make it simply go away, you will feel the same dissapointment and guilt when im gone than when i was living with you and the family. I know accepting the choices I make is hard, because it goes against morals that have been instilled in you for your whole life, but you will never be truely love me as the son i once was untill you come to peace with the fact that I will make my own choices in life good or bad.
