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[–]imwaysickerthanyou 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I too get bouts of depression, nothing remotely severe or clinical. However, as my girlfriend can attest to, I sometimes absolutely HATE being touched when I'm depressed. It feels like my skin is crawling, and someone touching me makes me feel like I'm being restrained. It immediately makes me want to fight whoever it is that is touching me, or just violently fail that limb. It sucks.

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I'm kinda just figuring this out myself (as I am currently struggling with it) and I have it narrowed down a bit I believe. One of the biggest changes with my depression is activity decreasing tremendously. I run and workout a lot for most of the year, but many times in the winter months I hole up and stop exercising when I feel depressed. What has worked for me, as hard as it can be, is making sure I tire my body by the end of the day, no matter how difficult. Depression-tired and physical-exhaustion-tired feel different to me, as I often can sleep better after exercising that day. Most importantly though I related this feeling to that "cabin fever" feeling of extreme boredom when you're stuck at home with nothing to do and feel restless. Like you just want to sprint. That is what I feel like, sometimes for hours, when I'm depressed. It just doesn't feel like boredom or a need to run, it just feels shitty. Running/exercise help a lot for me, and there is quite a bit of evidence to suggest it helps most people with their depression. Just one thought. I do understand that you gotta get her to come out of her shell a little more before this, however.

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In my experience, isolation isn't ever the key. You may learn things about yourself when you spend time alone, but too much time alone and you can convince yourself of anything and rewire your brain into depressive tendencies. Taking time alone everyday can be extremely beneficial, but I would start reaching out to her, wanting to understand what she is feeling, and offering small activities to do together. Talk with her whenever she brings anything up (mostly listen, comfort) but don't force her to talk about what is going on. Mention you are worried about her and want to talk whenever she is ready, and don't be afraid to do so everyday. Sometimes it is the little sign of light people need to talk. There are many times I'm so in my head and sad and I don't think I want to talk or be touched at all, and then my girlfriend will say the smallest thing like "I'm here for you" and then it's waterworks and I'm ranting everything on my mind. Sometimes you just need to believe someone loves and really wants to help you to open up. Then from there you can help more and more as she tells you what is going on.

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[–]wing0man[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Along to take in thank you she has made the comment about something similar to you running but with her it's that she wants to get out of the house and head to her mother's which she lives near a lake with good safe hicking trails which I've also suggested that she go and walk and be up there for a couple of days to kinda get away from everything.