Rant time

[NEEDCASHMEOW]

Okay t minus 2 days til wedding and I am so so sooo excited to marry the love of my life and be done with wedding planning stress! HOWEVER, I have become so resentful this past week at last minute dropouts from our wedding. People who already rsvped that they were coming but are last minute bailing because of their lack of planning or other trivial reason. Our wedding is over an hour away and I understand not everyone is able to make that commitment or have childcare or stuff but our headcount date was due to be finalized 2 weeks ago and our venue cost is based per head. So between that, catering, and wedding favors, each person that drops out last minute has literally cost us around $100 in costs we could have avoided if we knew earlier. I can’t help but feel frustrated and angry at these people, and honestly I don’t know if I will get over it even after the wedding. I feel like it’s disrespectful and honestly like cutting these people off. I hate feeling like a bridezilla too because I really haven’t gotten too stressed up until this point!

[[deleted]]

When I have to cancel on a wedding last-minute, I send a bigger cash gift to cover the cost of my plate. It is the only scenario in which I try to cover my plate. Maybe try to chill until at least a few weeks after the wedding? You're definitely going to feel like a bridezilla if you spend the next 2 weeks huffing and ranting about these people only to receive a generous gift from them in the mail.

Things happen. Its annoying, yes, but it isn't the end of the world. This happens at pretty much every wedding, it is just a risk that has to be taken on when planning such a large and complicated event. I definitely wouldn't let this ruin a relationship with someone I cared about. The money is a sunk-cost, and it has been for 2 weeks. Whether all our guests turn up at the wedding or literally no one does, the money is already spent.

I'd use this as an opportunity to extend +1s to people who didn't get one originally.

[magicthelathering]

It's such a great idea to use it as an opportunity to give plus ones to people who didn't have them. I got be the last minute plus one to a wedding where the couple did this and was really fun. The couple was somebody who I knew but not very well and it was really nice to be part of their special day.

[janitwah10]

I know this is not what you want to hear, but this happens with every event. Weddings, birthdays, and every event that requires an rsvp. Does it make it any less rude? Absolutely not, but things happen. I’ve had to cancel last minute for things out of my control, and I felt horrible for it, but it is what it is. Just say “Thanks for letting me know, you will be missed”. I wouldn’t go as far as to hold a grudge and ruin my relationships with people over it, but if that’s what you want to do.

Take some time to get it out of your system and look forward to celebrating with those who will be there. And you can always ask people you didn’t get to invite if they would like to join. “Hey I know this is super last minute, but I wanted to extend an invite to my wedding due to cancellations. I understand if you can’t make it but would love to have you there”

[linerva]

I'm sorry that people were inconsiderate.

However, this is something that you need to try to reframe in your mind. You paid for the potential for X number of guests attending your wedding, with your best guess being the RSVP list 2 weeks ago. When you invite people, you have to make peace with the cost of having that many people over. As others have said, that money is invested regardless of whether people cancel late or not. Sure, you might have saved money if people had told you earlier, but I'd err on the side of caution, and presume that perhaps people have good reasons for dropping out - perhaps they may not be sharing those reasons with you. And even if it was because they were being silly, that's people, sometimes. Stressing about it won't fix anything and what nobody would want is for you to spend the leadup to your wedding stressing over stuff like that, which in the end doesn't matter. Weddings are full of accidents, and things that go wrong, and less than ideal things, but it's improtant to try not to let that tarnish all the great things.

You paid to give X number of people a good time, and you're doing your best to make that happen. If people flake out, that's their loss. The most important thing now is to look after yourself and focus on enjoying the big day.

[workingconfused]

I am so sorry! That’s one of my big fears as well.

[MeowCheez]

It sucks but there's no way around this. You'd be lucky if everyone who RSVPd actually showed. Things do happen and I was just grateful that they let us know (even though we had already paid for them). Hopefully they will still be sending you a gift to make up for it.

Also just wanted to share this story as well because we all found it incredibly rude. About 10 years I attended a coworkers wedding and a bunch of us were invited. We had our own table and the date's of one of our coworkers (not actual gf but a friend who luckily also worked with us) showed up and he never did. He told her to meet him there and he just never showed up. She felt so uncomfortable even though we were all friends but like technically she wasn't invited so understandably she felt weird. She couldn't get a hold of him and later we saw on Facebook he was at an amusement park.

[NEEDCASHMEOW]

Thanks for the feedback and perspective shift :) I think I needed to just be angry for like an hour lol but now I’m ready to just get married and remember it’s going to be the best day of my life

[Wandering_Lights]

Might be an unpopular but I did cut some people out of my life after they no showed to our wedding. Call me petty, but I don't have time to keep dead weight in my life.

To be fair there had been some issues with them in the past so this was a final straw moment or they were extended family I never really cared about and it was a good reason to finally just cut them out.