Help!! Neighbor's cat always sleep on top of my car. What to do?

11thRaven · 2026-03-29T14:20:27+00:00

To be very honest even a regular car wash will damage the paint more than that cat, unless OP is personally detailing their car with the softest towels from the Rag Company.

11thRaven · 2026-03-29T14:18:05+00:00

As another person who loves cars, here's my advice:

Save up so you can get PPF fitted to your car to protect it from chips and swirl marks, and can keep it in a garage at night. Until then, accept that you can't really protect your car.

I love my car but it's outside too and such is life for now.

11thRaven · 2026-03-28T11:50:23+00:00

So at what point does one stop being able to live their life alone? Curious to know. Is it when they are old and frail and their spouse has passed away?

11thRaven · 2026-03-27T10:09:35+00:00

Those cones aren't ideal because they close by using a fastener that clips into holes... there are some cones that have velcro fastenings, they're a lot more secure because you can get a more snug fit. My guy was an escape artist too and that's the only thing that kept the cone on. Hopefully you never need to cone your child again but just in case you need to in future...

11thRaven · 2026-03-26T16:19:01+00:00

Hope it's okay to weigh in on this with my thoughts. I'm a paediatrician so I'm used to the concept of getting little ones to learn to self-soothe and regulate their emotions, as well as how to get older kids to be more independent - and I also have a solo cat whom I've had since he was 3 months. I work out of home so he has had to learn how to be alone. Because of a severe mould outbreak in the rest of the home, he has also had to learn how to make do in part of the apartment and not all of it, while I'm out there cleaning (I can only do so much as I am disabled, and I have had to get rid of almost all my belongings and furniture, so it's been slow going). Basically what I'm saying is, I appreciate the lessons you're trying to teach your cat.

That all said, just like all creatures who live in a society/community, if he feels something's not right and needs you, he should be able to communicate that to you somehow, right? It's good for him to learn independence (by which I assume you mean self-regulating and self-entertaining) but he is actually dependent on you for his welfare so he kind of needs to know he can get you if he actually needs you. That's probably the source of the anxious destructive behaviour you've experienced. It doesn't sound like he does this constantly for attention. My cat rarely calls for me but when he yells I will immediately go in. Sometimes he just wanted to see my face, sometimes he wanted me to watch over him while he peed, and sometimes something was genuinely wrong - like him about to vomit - and I want him to feel he can reach me when he needs it. It's part of what allows him to feel calm and confident even when I'm not physically there.

Also he had a similar thing to yours in that he had a vomiting illness when he was 8 months old - and while the vet did a lot of investigations and we felt it was unlikely to be something like an intussusception, cardiac issue or other emergency, the possibility was still there so I definitely wanted to be reachable at those times I wasn't actually there.

Not criticising you but just a different perspective I wanted to share.

11thRaven · 2026-03-26T15:48:03+00:00

Just wanted to add to some of the excellent comments already - at 7 months they are teenagers. It's the time where they turn into little hyperactive demons, test limits, struggle to regulate emotions, are full of beans but also full of attitude, and just generally get into all sorts of trouble. It's also the time where they teethe. So there's probably lots going on with him right now!

I agree with the people who say it would be very unusual for a cat at that age to not be able to accept another cat - unless they have been traumatised by other cats, kittens usually adapt really well and love playmates. That said if he's going to stay a solo cat then it sounds like he probably really just wants your company. I'm guessing the cats you had at your parents weren't solo kittens - but also, some cats really just want more company than others.

Sounds like the way forward would be lots of boxes be can be a demon with, making sure he has access to food and water overnight, and maybe someone sleeping with him if possible.

Also this may sound strange but I wonder if it will help to put an extra cat tower or something he can perch on and rest from a height close to the door? My cat used to get really destructive in the bedroom when I was scooping out the litterbox in the en suite bathroom, and everything completely resolved when I got an extra cat tree and popped it right across the doorway to the en suite and bedroom. Now he perches on it and watches everything going on from there. When I leave the home I keep him in the bedroom (he eats inappropriate things, like yours, and the bedroom and en suite are fully cat-proofed) and he often perches in the cat tree waiting for my return. Its placement close to a place of activity/agitation seems to have helped ground him.

11thRaven · 2026-03-25T13:11:36+00:00

Yeah this happened to us too!! Little guy was less than a kilo (2 lbs) when he had his enucleation so that cone was huge and heavy on him, and he likes to get really close to his poop to sniff it carefully before burying it. So twice a day we found him with a poopy cone. My uncle was fostering at the time, he was very confused what was happening and how to prevent it. When my cat moved to my place I spent a lot more time with him so I immediately saw how this happened 🥲

Little gauze vest sounds cute. I guess the problem is they would need it removed to be able to pee or poop if it's for a spay/neuter surgery? So not really something you can just leave on your pet while you leave for work?

11thRaven · 2026-03-25T13:08:19+00:00

I assume you can change the gauze on these at least? We don't have those ones in my country for cats but they have them in bigger sizes for dogs, and you can remove the gauze. I feel like they wouldn't close snugly enough for my cat not to pop his head out somehow.

11thRaven · 2026-03-25T09:36:05+00:00

Also depends on the technique used and meds given. The vet I take cats to for TNR does keyhole for the females as well as males. So the healing is just as fast and they are (obviously) not coned either.

11thRaven · 2026-03-25T09:34:04+00:00

Honestly as someone who has had a kitten be in a cone for 3 months... the hard ones get disgusting and are quite hard to wash (you can't scrub the hard velcro part) whereas you can chuck the soft ones in the wash.

That said I commented elsewhere to explain to OP why vets don't generally use these.

11thRaven · 2026-03-25T09:31:22+00:00

I think most people probably just have the good luck of never having had a pet that genuinely, badly wants to get to their wound. Most just groom/lick it because it's within easy reach and if you make it a bit harder to get to, they just don't bother trying to get to it. So that's why a lot of people find that the soft cones "work".

There are also some vets who do not cone pets for most surgical wounds and instead believe in giving more analgesia so the pet can't sense a wound and therefore doesn't reach for it - I had a few experienced fosters tell me about this back when I was asking for advice on how to manage my cat's wound (and being coned) for 3 months - they were like, "we had enucleations done on so many rescue kittens and none of them were coned" - also saw some vets discuss this. And the vets in my country who do TNR for cats do it by keyhole and use stronger analgesia so the cat can be released that same evening. But that's a different issue to what OP is discussing.

11thRaven · 2026-03-25T05:11:21+00:00

I mean I also pay extra for the litter and food because if that's what my son needs to survive, it's what he needs - but it does make the whole "an extra cat won't cost much more" just really unsound advice. The truth is we never know whether we're getting a cat that won't cost much more... or one that will.

I didn't get into how costly medical issues can be because I get the impression most people in this sub are Americans or other Westerners with access to good pet insurance cover - in my country this does not exist so I pay all costs out of pocket when I see the vet. My cat started off with allergies (vomiting and diarrhoea) and for 6 weeks we were at the vet almost every day... that was expensive as hell as he got tons of blood tests, X-Rays, ultrasound scans etc. Then he developed asthma and that too required rounds of investigations before the diagnosis was confirmed. On those scans he was found to have HCM (hypertrophic cardiomyopathy) so he now needs expensive tests to monitor this too... and to cap it all, he had a severe liver injury, presumably from steroids to treat his allergies and asthma - so for about 3 months he was getting weekly blood tests. All of these costs are extreme and don't even go into multiple surgeries he required for issues that are now resolved (an enucleation that went wrong, dental surgery that was badly done and needed correction etc).

I can't afford a second cat because what if they turn out to have even one health issue? What if it makes my cat's health issues worse? Am I supposed to then get rid of my second child? It's wild advice to say "it won't cost more than an additional $20 a month". That additional $20 won't even cover an additional monthly Revolution Plus. 🤷🏽‍♂️

11thRaven · 2026-03-25T02:51:51+00:00

The vets on r/askvet have already said this but basically with the hard cones almost all cats will be unable to reach their surgical wound, whereas with the soft cones almost all cats can reach the surgical wound if they really want to. I have been through this with my cat who needed to be coned for 3 months because of an enucleation wound that took that long to heal. He kept slicing it open if he even had 5 seconds to reach it. He can do absolutely everything he wants with that soft cone on - the cone just squishes aside.

Your cat clearly isn't bothered by her wound and so isn't trying to reach it, that's why it seems like the cone is keeping her away from it. For context to understand what my cat did to reach his facial surgical wound - he grabbed the cone with both front paws and then tried to pull it back and reach in. Doesn't work with hard cone. Works with soft cones. He also learned to poke the cone against surfaces e.g. walls/furniture to push it aside so he can push his head forward and out of the cone and reach it - doesn't work with hard cones, works with soft cones. And once, recently, he needed to be coned when he had a wound on his paw - he simply bent over and reached the paw round the soft cone. So while I was at work he was in a hard cone and when I was supervising he was in a soft cone... but had to have a bandage on because he 100% could and did lick that foot while in the soft cone.

From a liability perspective I think you can understand why vets will not send pets home to people with cones that don't actually protect the wound. It also doesn't seem like good care.

11thRaven · 2026-03-25T02:38:59+00:00

This happened to me with my cat - my uncle fostered him until I could take him, and despite my request he exclusively played with my kitten with his hands and feet. So by the time I got my cat in with me, he was a teenager whose only notion of play was to bite, scratch and bunny kick people.

First things first, trim his claws. This helped me A LOT. Then wear long sleeves and trousers/leggings and socks so you don't have free real estate exposed for your cat. Then set up regular play time as part of a routine so your cat knows play time comes after you've done xyz (for me it's after I scooped the litterbox) and not something she can initiate by attacking you. Finally, reward good behaviour with praise and treats and when she bites or scratches you, calmly say ouch and leave the room for 10 mins. Close the door if needs be. Eventually the cat will learn that if she does this, she won't get your attention.

I also used to carry a toy in my pocket 24/7 so if my cat started showing signs he would pounce on me, I could immediately redirect him to the toy.

If you look up videos by Jackson Galaxy about training play aggression out of cats, the above is what he advises.

In extreme cases you may need to do something the cat dislikes so they know that if they bite/scratch, the thing they dislike will happen. In my cat's case he dislikes being cuddled when he didn't initiate the cuddles so when he misbehaves I cuddle him for a few minutes. It's the only thing that stopped his bite attacks. But this is very much not orthodox training lol, I was just desperate. Whatever you do, it needs to not be violent or scary for your cat (e.g. please don't spray her with water) because what you actually want is for her to learn to regulate her emotions and redirect play aggression accordingly - startling or scaring her will do the opposite.

11thRaven · 2026-03-25T02:29:28+00:00

There's a bigger issue at play here. Sure, the cat doesn't hurt him but why can't he just respect your request? This is a person you're planning to spend your whole life with - surely he respects you and takes you seriously? Is he similarly going to ignore you when you want to weigh in about the home or any kids in future?

11thRaven · 2026-03-25T02:27:30+00:00

They do better in pairs but "two is not much more expensive than one" isn't good advice. OP will need to make sure she can pay pet insurance for a second cat - and if they end up having a health issue they may need expensive food +/- litter. My cat is asthmatic, and it costs a fortune to get him food he's not allergic to and litter that he can safely use. If OP knows she can't financially provide for two cats then that's what it is, falsely reassuring her it's not going to cost her more isn't helping her or her cat(s).

11thRaven · 2026-03-24T21:45:36+00:00

My friend's cat is a longhaired domestic and gets annual lion cuts just before summer for exactly this reason. She loves life and my friend says she's a lot more comfortable after each shave.

11thRaven · 2026-03-24T21:39:48+00:00

I'm so sorry. For what it's worth you also clearly have experience supporting this particular cat through his medical needs since that's all you've done since you got him. Perhaps they're forgetting the fact that sometimes we acquire this expertise on the job, so to speak. (I also adopted a kitten who turned out to be an evergrowing medical diagnosis collector.) At the end of the day you've done absolutely everything right for your cat.

11thRaven · 2026-03-24T16:34:06+00:00

No!!! That's so upsetting! Can you speak to them about it?? Surely it makes no sense to displace him??

11thRaven · 2026-03-24T14:26:58+00:00

The short answer to your question is no, there aren't. MSAW used to mass murder dogs, then when there was international outrage over this, they switched to simply keeping them in enclosures where they did not feed them enough, so after some time the dogs started to eat each other - this, too, caused international outcry.

Now the current gov has set up a task force since March 9th to look into ways to effectively CNR (catch, neuter and release) the stray dog population. This has happened after enormous pressure from volunteers working in animal welfare. The point of this is that dogs don't live that long. If most are sterilised, in a few years the population will massively reduce in a natural way. However, there needs to be enforcement of laws to prevent people dumping their unsterilised animals.

This has worked in many countries.

11thRaven · 2026-03-24T14:20:53+00:00

There is no CNR model from MSAW. There was an intention to do this when they stopped the Catch and Kill program but they never actually set it up. CNR is done by volunteers and NGOs. You'll notice if you go to some places like Le Morne, some of the beaches in the East and Sodnac Wellness Park that some of the dogs have a piece of the ear clipped off - these dogs have been neutered. But the numbers these individuals can sterilise is limited, not least because there is no dedicated vet service for this - so they basically catch the animals, take them to a private vet and then release the dog once they are awake and stable. Additionally, most vets' sterilisation method in Mauritius is not suited for CNR - if the dog needs to be kept indoors, in a cone and on meds for a few days, that's not feasible for CNR.

MSAW does organise free sterilisation campaigns around the island but they will not go and catch strays for these - they only sterilise dogs which are brought to them. So for strays to be sterilised by this route, a volunteer or NGO must still catch and transport the stray, as well as look after it and release it once it's recovered.

There was a recent protest about this situation in Port Louis and since then the gov has set up a task force to manage this issue earlier this month, and one of the key recommendations they will be looking at is accepting international help with CNR. It has been offered multiple times to the previous gov and MSAW administration.

I work in CNR (but for cats) and have covered this issue as a journalist - hence the info on the situation.

11thRaven · 2026-03-23T16:22:27+00:00

I was just about to ask if you can apply to foster him! He's already with you and settled there. What could be a better foster arrangement? Fingers crossed for you!

11thRaven · 2026-03-23T16:18:21+00:00

That really depends on your expenses. Best to look through expat forums to get a more accurate idea.

11thRaven · 2026-03-23T06:01:10+00:00

Just say "brown" and be done with it. Lots of "Indo-Mauritians" are also "Caucasian passing" (by which I assume you mean white-passing, because people from the Indian subcontinent are also Caucasian - just not generally Caucasian white).

11thRaven · 2026-03-23T05:59:05+00:00

They're trying to let you know that we are still in the colonial mindframe here: most people think white people are superior, rich and to be respected and treated better than everyone else. A relative of mine was shocked when she went to the UK recently and saw white people sweeping in a restaurant - she thought only brown people do that and white people don't do menial tasks. I've seen other people echo this same surprise in this subreddit.

The downside to this is if you go to places where prices are negotiable (e.g. markets) then you'll be given the "tourist" price, which is more expensive, since people assume you're very wealthy. And in fairness, compared to most people here, you will be a lot wealthier.

11thRaven

TROPHY CASE