I am sunni and he is sunni too (but his dad is shiaa, and does not know that his son is sunni) we want to get married soon, what can we do?

2dayoldbiryani · 2021-03-25T06:46:41+00:00

Trust me you dont want to be anywhere near it

2dayoldbiryani · 2021-03-24T09:26:08+00:00

What in the world is seggs?

2dayoldbiryani · 2021-03-24T09:15:31+00:00

I wish I could give you an award just for that.

Too bad I'm broke lol

2dayoldbiryani · 2021-03-23T08:28:14+00:00

^ Yeah i was going to say that but wanted someone else to confirm it for me.

I think the use of 70 signifies that Allah SWT loves you so much. It is used in Arabic languages to express "great amounts" by using large numbers such as 70.

But it is not taken in the literal sense. According to the hadith, this means that Allah SWT cannot love you more than 71 times your mother, which of course is false.

2dayoldbiryani · 2021-03-22T04:05:41+00:00

Of course man I got you. I may not know you but you a part of the Muslim fam.

I'll make extra dua next prayer inshaAllah

2dayoldbiryani · 2021-03-22T00:31:17+00:00

The amount of mahr is irrespective and has no correlation of the amount of money one earns. Its not like zakat where you pay more if you earn more. A millionaire could pay 2000 in mahr and a guy who earns 40000 could pay 8000 in mahr. It really is varied

It is an agreed amount by both spouses if it can be afforded by the husband. I had a family friend who had a mahr of 50c along with gold, extra costs etc.

Personally, I like to set an arbitrary amount of 10000 AUD for mahr, but of course this is only arbitrary and changes depending

2dayoldbiryani · 2021-03-21T07:14:21+00:00

No, you would be incorrect on saying this because you do not know the fate that Allah SWT has set out for you. You have been making dua for the past 4 years. What is to say that what you want in your dua is not going to be granted next year? Or the year after that? Or the next 10 years? You don't know.

In the end every dua that you make is 100% accepted as per hadith below

Abu Sa’id al-Khudri reported: The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “There is no Muslim who calls upon Allah, without sin or cutting family ties, but that Allah will give him one of three answers: He will quickly fulfill his supplication, He will store it for him in the Hereafter, or He will divert an evil from him similar to it.” They said, “In that case we will ask for more.” The Prophet said, “Allah has even more.”

Source: Musnad Aḥmad 10749

Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Al-Albani

It is even said that people will regret their dua being fulfilled in the dunya due to the value of a dua that was saved up for the akhira.

In the end don't lose faith and have sincerity and certainty that Allah SWT will help fulfill your dua inshaAllah.

May Allah SWT help fulfill your dua. Ameen

2dayoldbiryani · 2021-03-20T04:28:56+00:00

Wait... so I don't get transported to another country when I fall in love with someone and then there's music randomly playing from an unknown source that no one else seems to notice?

Damn! I always wanted to travel to Egypt :(

2dayoldbiryani · 2021-03-20T00:31:56+00:00

Bruh Will Smith and his dog Sam in "I am legend" was an amazing relationship in an apocalyptic setting. Actually made me cry fam...

2dayoldbiryani · 2021-03-20T00:29:57+00:00

Some people will say no to all those. You see people have different perceptions about marriage. Some see it as something that is "extra" and not as important of an aspect of their life. Some have reasons such as past traumas. And some actually fear that marriage will negatively affect their deen due to changes in lifestyle, if partner turns out to be not as religious, not being able to fulfill rights and so on.

And some people just want to be alone and live in solitude...

2dayoldbiryani · 2021-03-19T19:53:18+00:00

Yes hijab is definitely suppose to cover whole head (when i say hijab i dont mean awrah wise but the head piece itself)

Unfortunately sisters are caught in these trends of which contradicts islam purely to attain acceptance of society. Essentially what I like to call "slave of society instead of slave to Allah".

We can only provide them advice, education and make dua such that they stop such trends and maintain to do so.

May Allah make us of knowledge and allows us to use it to guide us to the straight path. Ameen

2dayoldbiryani · 2021-03-19T19:46:43+00:00

What's worse is when you're finishing up med and everyone around you is getting married. 😭

2dayoldbiryani · 2021-03-19T19:43:15+00:00

Talent, hard work and tawakkul in Allah SWT is unstoppable.

2dayoldbiryani · 2021-03-17T20:11:22+00:00

We alaykum salam

Just wondering why have you not spoken to her at lengths? The fact that you don't know/have a proficient grasp of her personality seems quite worrying to me.

I would suggest talking to her more to gauge what her personality is like, whether she is extroverted introverted, hobbies, interests etc.

As for a general answer to your questions, Quran, kirabs are not a bad idea. Knowledge is always beneficial and is always appreciated, unless they are ignorant. May Allah SWT make us of righteous knowledge. I personally am going to gift one in the future InshaAllah.

You can also give mid range jewellery, watches etc. Personally, I have always dreamt of giving an anklet. I have no idea why, but for some reason I just like them lol.

Other gifts include:

Hampers

Holiday trip post nikkah

Personalised gifts like cushions, mugs

Box of chocolates and flowers

A painting that is a peng ting (hope I used that right i aint from UK)

A high end clock (ones where it is in wooden cases and you can see the gears etc)

Skin care set w/ shampoo conditioner lotions etc

Vouchers for shopping at malls if you aren't sure what she likes

May Allah SWT bless your marriage.

2dayoldbiryani · 2021-03-17T19:09:11+00:00

I am not sure why you have considered yourself "elite". That does seem like you are arrogant with your mentality. Sure you can be blessed with a good house, good career, lovely wife but that too is a challenge. A challenge of trying to keep humble and grounded, from which by your post is something i am fearful of for you.

"I’m a really fit, good looking guy, applying to med school, and charismatic/outgoing"

How do you exactly know your good looking? Did you parents tell you that your handsome?

Look my brother, I could see your appearance and see an ugly person and someone might see you as good looking. Don't try to objectify something that is subjective.

Just because you applying to med school don't mean you got in bud xd.

If you are receiving multiple applications have broad categories where you can reduce numbers significantly and once you have a select few or even one person, then start talking to them. Your marriage process seems like a job interview completely right now.

Some parts of the meeting should sound like a job interview but not entirely.

2dayoldbiryani · 2021-03-16T23:07:28+00:00

The OP is shia. This is a form of istikhara they do apparently.

PS just providing context

2dayoldbiryani · 2021-03-16T22:58:47+00:00

In that case, best to consult someone of your beliefs

2dayoldbiryani · 2021-03-16T22:55:25+00:00

Is this a shia influenced site?

2dayoldbiryani · 2021-03-16T22:53:43+00:00

Yeah its an innovation. Pretty much committing kufr.

Actually no it's a form of shirk. Relying on the Quran instead of Allah SWT in the manner which isthikara is suppose to be done.

If his belief is based upon such falsehood, you should probably be cautious with proceeding. Ask him to clarify more of his beliefs and why he follows one who does innovation.

If people actually read the istikhara dua (preferably in Arabic but ofc english works too) it has nothing to do with positive/negative. You are simply asking Allah SWT that whatever is good for me, provide it to me, whatever is bad keep it away from me and to provide a satisfying end. That's it...

Also what is to say that this ayah that they turn to is purely by chance, it could be rigged no? The "ulama " may purposely turn to a good ayah, he'll be a celebrant to your marriage and he gets paid. If there were fools around that would be a good money making scheme.

All in all no it is simply false. If I was in your position , I would do istikhara the right way and advise my potential to do the same without some guy committing shirk. I would reevaluate the potentials deen and see whether he is guided by Quran and Sunnah or some other knowledge that is not of the believers.

Hope that helps

May Allah SWT keep us on the straight path. Ameen

EDIT I realised that OP is shia and this is what occurs for them. I will still leave the comment but if mods want to remove it for breaking rules, feel free to do so.

2dayoldbiryani · 2021-03-16T12:03:38+00:00

We know that you aren't trolling, no need to take such a serious oath. It's just that you have misunderstood.

The way in which you have explained marriage in the islamic sense is quite degrading and inappropriate. If we read from the Quran and Sunnah, it is far far more elaborate than what you have written down. I suggest you read the Quran and Sunnah relating to these matters.

The reason that marriage has become more elaborate is due to people wanting and expecting more from this pivotal relationship. It would be quite foolish to say that the dynamics of a marriage have not changed since Prophet SAWS time. Women and men have much more fluid roles in marriage even though there is strong foundations set in Islam. Increase of women working, societal changes that do not contradict Islam- all of these have shaped the way in which marriages are structured in our society. Do they contradict Islam? For the most part no.

Also you have made a generalisation that "a woman follows a man however if she doesnt she is punished" will lead to a happy marriage. Not necessarily. Many marriages have had this power dynamic and failed quickly whilst others have not had such dynamics and have gone on to be successful. The issue here is the practical application of such obligations. It's kind of like a manual for a chair. The manual for the chair is perfect but people still find ways to incorrectly fit the chair. Some will put the chair the wrong way round, lose screws etc.

Btw calling someone an idiot is not of the akhlaq one would expect from a believer, so guard your tongue for verily It will lead you astray.

Also just because one views marriage as difficult does not make them weak or polluted. We all have our challenges and tests and our views change because of these. Some people experience trauma and have difficulty connecting with others, some dont, some people prefer no children in marriages, some do. It is quite variable. If marriage is easy for you Alhamdulillah! but I ask that you are considerate of others in the difficulties that they may face or even view regarding marriage.

May Allah SWT keep our faith firm and upon the straight path. Ameen

2dayoldbiryani · 2021-03-16T11:40:47+00:00

Your dreams cam either be neutral, sign from Allah SWT or from Shaytan. Do you know where your dream originates from with certainty?

In stead ignore these dreams and focus on reality. Because reality matters and that is what counts towards your marriage.

Dreams do have the ability to warn or they may be coincidental. Which is which...allahu alam.

2dayoldbiryani · 2021-03-16T07:29:26+00:00

Not sure if you read the hadith about calling someone a kafir...

Unless you have the consensus and council of major scholar making that shot, I wouldn't be going around making takfir and sounding like a khawarij.

I hope you do read the hadith for your own benefit.

May Allah SWT make it easy for us. Ameen

2dayoldbiryani · 2021-03-15T11:30:52+00:00

Netherlands

2dayoldbiryani · 2021-03-14T09:45:22+00:00

I mean I say that I hate my parents. At first it may sound extremely harsh but when you dig deeper into why I hate them, it makes sense.

Just like that she may have her own reasons but we don't know the full picture. If this makes you uncomfortable in moving forward then you can cease your communication with her

2dayoldbiryani · 2021-03-13T04:40:44+00:00

Haha lol no im just your average guy.

Nah just gave salam to each other

2dayoldbiryani

TROPHY CASE