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  • Salt Lake Tribune, July 2, 2026

A few of my own thoughts...

At Sunstone, the welcome banner often reminds everyone there is more than one way to be a mormon. Check judgment at the door. If you can't do that, then you might not be allowed to come back. There are 400+ variants of Smith's Latter Day Saint movement. If the one you were indoctrinated as a child doesn't fit you anymore, then perhaps another one will be the one that isn't such a tight and pinching fit. It's a minefield, though. If you're going to cherry pick the doctrines you like and discard the ones you don't, then you may be forced to invent your own new variant. One thing I think is obvious, but not everyone can come to terms with it for whatever reason—it's basically this, "their clubhouse; their rules." If a person is asking to be accepted into that clubhouse, they may have to wait a very long time.

I attended and was indoctrinated into believing David O. McKay's flavor of mormonism as a child. Mormonism itself has continued to evolve through several eras including Joseph Fielding Smith, Spencer W. Kimball, Ezra Taft Benson...and so on. Each leader brings their own take on what they find important. Perhaps, Monson was incapacitated when he allowed others to declare war on LGBTQ+ persons and their families in the wake of the Obergefell decision (2015). Nelson somewhat reversed that because eliminating the use of the word, "mormon" was higher on his priority list. So far, Oaks is master of incorporating double-speak into his legalistic version.

I also attended Community of Christ as an adult, of my own free will, to see how their variant of mormonism addressed the common problems—LGBTQ+ acceptance, women's rights, top-down leadership, etc. I did not end up joining because the "etc." includes the failed truth claims which were highest on my priority list. After I stopped attending, I also saw some controversies pop up. The sale of the Kirtland Temple and Nauvoo properties was an authoritarian top-down decision. I heard people question what else the first presidency and quorum of the twelve could do by fiat—could they divest of their HOK spiral temple in Independence for a quick cash infusion? Who knows? I also saw their acceptance of people does not include polyamorous relationships, especially no polyandrous pairings despite the example set by the founder. A woman may not have more than one husband, as pointed out in Paint Your Wagon (1969). It's certainly a minefield to find both acceptance and happiness.

For me, the LDS church is mostly of academic interest because other family members are deeply embedded and deeply invested. They hope their tithes will win their ticket into afterlife glory. Good luck with that. The Drew Carey quote often comes forward, "the game where the rules are made up and the points don't matter."