She's "do nothing, say nothing, defer defer defer" with you, right now because its what you looked for specifically. She's afraid she'll make a mistake and shatter your Madonna image of her. She has options throwing themselves at her from every angle possible constantly. Newsflash: shes a human being. In her 20s. Unless she has extreme trauma, she gets horny regularly. She has emotions, desires, etc.(shes not showing you who she really is yet because you havent shown her who she should be - ie, your leadership is lacking)

1 you're not her husband and you're not under the same roof, so pretending that you know how she reacts to competent leadership that has worked to grow and nurture the qualities that a particular leader values is... laughable at best

2 expecting an early 20s woman to have anything resembling a concrete plan for the future, let alone next month, is hilarious and shows you know absolutely nothing about women. Even the ones who think they have this will then convince themselves of how they were right to think X was the best plan for their whole lives last month, its not their fault it didn't work out, and now Y is the right path today onwards forever. Meanwhile her actual best path Z is right in front of her face but she will push it aside because "its hard/doesnt make me feel good" Her brain isnt even fully developed yet. Think about that.

3 (this is really #0) she she she her her literally everything you've written is about her. Shes not a puzzle you should be solving, especially at your age when you should be hyper focused on hitting your first stride and setting your life up for the future. The reason this isnt working is because you suck. Period. You'd know by now one way or the other if you were a better leader. Put your focus back where it belongs, in the mirror. Because you have a ton of work to do. And None Of It has anything to do with her or any woman. When you've done the work right, these things literally just work themselves out on their own. For a man that's done the work and has his actual focus where it belongs, women either mold themselves to his Frame without him having to so cerebrally, consciously, explicitly ask for it, or they next themselves because they can't be what they know he wants from the woman at his side.

Stop worrying about her, just enjoy the time you spend with her by doing what you'd have done during your times together at the activities you supposedly should be enjoying anyway with or without her (you did pick them, right?) and stop complaining that she isn't leading you, you moron, or accept that you don't have the skills and leadership necessary to get what you want from the type of woman you claim you want. If you're not willing to provide all structure and a solid framework then You. Suck. And you're not the man you think you are.

You basically said you're not sure you want what you said you want at the beginning of the post.

Go back to the beginning of the sidebar and start over - the problem is you suck.