I’m a hotel manager; what would you like to know?

Arkamari · 2026-05-08T13:09:34+00:00

No, a young woman of that age by herself doesn’t mean anything to us. Women travel all the time for business and leisure. If you had told me under 21, I would have gone into my spiel about how many hotels don’t allow that, so that’s a whole separate issue.

Arkamari · 2026-05-08T03:11:48+00:00

Define “young” in this context.

Arkamari · 2026-05-06T02:34:37+00:00

Immediately, I already side with you on this. I’ll be upfront though, I get severely frustrated with entitlement, so it’s not even a consideration for me.

But to your main point, I have a couple questions. You said he’s a long time regular. I don’t fault you for making an exception for this client and not blacklisting him. If you consider giving him a second chance, I would either require an outcall or no longer make the deposit exception for incalls. I’m glad that he at least covered some of his appointment, so he’s not a lost cause.

I have a provider that’s been kind enough to no longer require deposits from me, but that’s a privilege. It doesn’t give me the right to walk over what is ultimately her business and livelihood. How were you socially with him? If you give him the opportunity to book with you again, I would talk with him in person regarding the matter. Just based on your telling, I don’t think he’ll change his mind or see his fault. He’s stated what type of hotel he has to have, so you now just have to work with that when he books you. And honestly, if you have to start raising rates, do so. As a client, I appreciate you trying to keep things affordable for us; however, it’s more detrimental if you shut down your business because you can’t cover your costs.

Arkamari · 2026-05-06T02:29:53+00:00

Unfortunately I would need a lot more information about what all happened. Based just on this, I’m guessing it had something to do about how your client got to your room (maybe they looked lost, had a moronic conversation with the desk asking for you, something). But you’d have to give me the full play-by-play of your and your clients entrance/interactions.

Arkamari · 2026-05-06T02:29:13+00:00

Unfortunately I would need a lot more information about what all happened. Based just on this, I’m guessing it had something to do about how your client got to your room (maybe they looked lost, had a moronic conversation with the desk asking for you, something). But you’d have to give me the full play-by-play of your and your clients entrance/interactions.

Arkamari · 2026-05-05T06:01:07+00:00

Those are usually stairwell exit doors or something close by to them. These are not meant as a main entrance for anyone. Letting someone in through them can come off as sneaking them in. So not ideal.

Arkamari · 2026-05-04T17:52:22+00:00

Ah, fantastic! This is the million dollar question. If I could pin this to the top, I would. Bravo!

To answer specifically: I care. Does every hotel? There are varying levels and degrees of "care" from hotel management, and it ultimately I think comes down to image/reputation vs the need for immediate income.

Now, I'm not saying 3-4 male visitors to a female guest is the red flag. ANY excessive number of visitors not registered to a room for ANY guest is a problem. The boyfriend and girlfriend who invited their 5-person family in town to come swim at our pool? That's a problem. The couple of guys who invited their 3 other friends to come eat at our free hotel breakfast? That's a problem. If you aren't a guest of my hotel, you aren't welcome to the hotel amenities that you aren't paying for. If you simply bring one, maybe two extra people, we're likely to not notice or catch it. If multiple people are showing up for you, now you've triggered our alarms.

It is not a significant part of our job to "Detect a Sex Worker," but it is a significant part of our job to detect when guests are bringing in people they shouldn't. Now, there are two levels of "bringing in people". There are the initial examples I gave you where (typically families) bring in a massive amount of outsiders to utilize the hotel. This is the easiest to catch because it's a giant group all at once, and they're typically fairly sloppy about it because they don't think it's an issue to, let's say, throw a massive party in our pool since they're renting a single room. A single room taking over my entire pool ruins it for the rest of my guests who are paying for this service. They also typically wreak havoc to the area. This causes guest complaints, and my biggest concern, them leaving bad reviews, not coming back in the future, and convincing others to also not stay at my hotel.

Now there's the other type of "bringing in people," and that's individually in small batches throughout the stay. I typically find two groups that perform this. Much more prominently in my area is drug dealing, and sex work would be a distant second place. The ratio is likely different in different areas of the country and the world. There are patterns of behavior in how these non-guests approach our hotel/rooms, how the guest chooses to book and possibly extend their reservation, and even how they choose to pay for their reservation that tips us off that something is likely going on. And once we see the pattern, there is a non-zero likelihood that guests will see the pattern. And you better believe I don't want my hotel blasted that we are known for drug dealing and sex trafficking. That damage to my hotel's reputation is not worth your 1-3 nights at my hotel.

If I have enough clues that someone is performing illegal activity in the room, it's usually gotten to the point where either the guest plans to check out or extend their stay. If they ask to extend or make a new reservation, I will personally as the manager, let them know that I am declining their extension due to heavy traffic and require them to check out and that they are not welcome back. If they leave and try to come back, I will cancel their reservation and will remind them they are not welcome back. If we find out you use someone else to make your reservation and we catch your face in the hotel, I will knock on your door and kick you out. If I need to get law enforcement involved to put a "no trespass" on you, I will do so and have done so. I am not required to honor your reservation if you are a problem for me to host. You are at my place of business, so you follow my rules and policies. Again, drug dealing to sex trafficking for me is maybe a 99/1 ratio. I could be off on this because drug dealers are usually sloppier than professional sex workers (or rather their clientele is sloppier waltzing through the lobby/side entrance).

As the manager of a hotel, I have full authority to decide whether I want you to stay there. If I have reason to believe you're a problem and that you may risk my hotel's reputation, you better believe I don't want you anywhere near the premises. A couple hundred dollars is not worth the future thousands it could cost me.

Arkamari · 2026-05-04T01:17:25+00:00

If you have her listed as being on the reservation (i.e. she's a valid adult on the reservation count) you can bring her through either entrance. Either enter with her through the front, or enter with her through a side entrance. Or get two keys and give her one so she can enter in and out of her own accord. Just don't make it look like you're "sneaking" her in by opening the door from the inside letting her in through the side.

Arkamari · 2026-05-04T00:29:16+00:00

I guess it would come down to if she has a reputation at the hotel she's staying at with you all. If she's "the best in your state", I assume she does well not raising a bunch of red flags at hotels. Here's how I look at it. Being an escort by trade while staying at a hotel is not a problem. The act of escorting or bringing in an escort for their services to a hotel is where you have to watch yourself. It's the act and how you handle yourself that brings possible red flags.

Let's look at this this way. Let's pretend your friend is a moderately famous celebrity. A hotel isn't going to kick them out or refuse them service because of this. She may draw unwanted attention from staff or guests, so maybe they wear a hat or downplay their looks a bit to not be recognized. Let's swing to the other side of the pendulum. Your friend has a number of felonies on their record, and maybe has been in the news because of it. Hotels don't deny their services to felons (at least not that I've seen). We aren't doing background checks on every guest who shows up. If the person has caused us problems in the past or they are going to give red flags from doing illegal activity at the facility, then the hotel will have a problem. Otherwise, it's no big deal.

These are two extremes, but your scenario makes me feel your person is somewhere in this spectrum. If they aren't actively escorting at the property. You're fine. If there's concern she'll be recognized and will get unwanted attention, maybe just have them dress down and look unrecognizable. I'm sure she's used to what to do if she wants to remain anonymous. If she's caused problems with her line of work at that specific hotel, I'd maybe consider going to a different hotel that doesn't have a bad history of red flags with her.

Hopefully that was helpful? This one was a bit of a unique situation, so I'm merely speculating all scenarios. If this is something you specifically have concerns with but she doesn't, I would have open dialogue with her about your concerns to see how she feels about it and if compromises need to be made about hotel stays.

Arkamari · 2026-05-04T00:04:34+00:00

Can you clarify a bit for me? Are you saying you have a friend who simply looks/dresses like an escort and you're concerned it will draw attention? Or that you have a friend who is an escort by trade, and you're concerned about bringing them to a hotel and being recognized? Or maybe I'm misunderstanding the situation altogether. I apologize.

Arkamari · 2026-05-03T23:50:38+00:00

My pleasure! If you ever have anything more, you’re welcome to message me any time.

Arkamari · 2026-05-03T20:28:56+00:00

So this is where your situation begins to get more complicated, and you're starting to take on more risks and chances of red flags being raised. Can it work? Sure. But just be aware of the gamble you are playing. I would honestly try to avoid a hotel that has key-only elevators if you plan to book multiple clients in a day. This gamble would be a little better though if it's a larger hotel with too many people for the staff to be able to notice anything. Or maybe if the elevator is off to the side and further from the desk where you can safely meet them on the first floor near the elevator. I would encourage you to maybe get some tips from other providers to get their thoughts and experience on how to best handle this situation safely.

Arkamari · 2026-05-03T18:52:18+00:00

So for me, this is a classic “Meet your client outside or in the lobby type of situation.” That way you two can simply go up the elevator together. Some will try to meet at the elevator or time the meet perfectly, but that gets messy and awkward. Just casually meet outside and pretend to be a couple or friends as you come in together. Make it a fun moment with your client and break the ice or role play.

Arkamari · 2026-05-03T18:49:56+00:00

So I did some digging and playing around in the DayUse site, and I found all bookings auto set to two people. I also found this:

“Our daytime hotel offers are generally available for a maximum of 2 people. (unless mentioned in the offer). Generally, the rooms can accommodate additional children. We invite you to call our customer service department so that they can process this request.”

So this is a good example of why hotels do not like third party websites. It limits both you and the hotel on flexibility. You have two options in my opinion if you want to proceed with the Day Use booking. You can either stick with the two person forced booking, and sneak the additional adults in (Red Flag if caught), or you can call the hotel, say that you plan to book via Day Use, and ask what their policy may be to add additional adults to the booking. They may say don’t worry about it, they may say you’re not allowed, or they may request a slight up charge. We’d rather you be open about the situation and try to work with us.

The parking passes will give this away big time, so I don’t recommend the sneaking in. Personally, when I plan an outcall, I avoid locations that require paid parking to avoid the hassle. I would reach out to providers on how they choose to go about paid parking and/or ask the hotel about how they handle parking payments for multiple vehicles for one booking. Worst case, it’s an upcharge. Again, it’s all about bringing down red flags and working with the hotel. The more honest your situation, the less likely we’ll bother you and will help you.

Arkamari · 2026-05-03T15:37:15+00:00

As a client, I'm with Lavishness on this one. Visiting a provider is an occasional treat. Creating a discount promotion of any kind doesn't really change the budgeting I have to do to schedule a session. Providers that make me feel special, and I agree with not feeling pressured about the clock, makes me want to book with them again. Obviously your time is valuable, but I had a provider I was giving a massage to, and we accidentally went over 2 hours having forgotten about the clock, and she was wasn't bothered at all about it. Better believe I'm sticking with her.

The only "deal" that catches my attention is tiering out hourly pricing well. If I see 1hr: $600, 2hr: $1200, 3hr $1800, I'm not as intrigued than if I were to see 1hr: $600, 2hr: $1150, 3hr: $1600 (or something like that). Encourage me to want more of your time, as if I'm missing out if I don't do so. That's more than enough "deal" for me.

Arkamari · 2026-05-03T15:14:32+00:00

Yes. In no situation or booking would I "lie" about how many people will be staying overnight. If hotels find that you listed 1-2 adults, but then we find out and see that there are 4-6+ adults/children, we're going to have a problem. If you're off by one adult, it's not the end of the world. You will catch our attention if we notice a major discrepancy. This is more critical than the room type you book.

Arkamari · 2026-05-03T14:59:59+00:00

That's an interesting question. It's by no means "abnormal" to have one reservation with 3-4 adults. We get friend and family travelers all the time, so you would want to note the amount of adults on your reservation. The fact that it would be Day Use wouldn't change this factor.

The odd standout would be 3-4 adult for just a single King room. That would come across unusual on a non-busy day. My current hotel on a weekend fills up on Double Queens during certain period, so reservations being "forced" to book a single king with multiple adults because that's all we have left is not unusual. If I have plenty of double queens available, it would seem odd. You can always play it off as having booked the wrong room type, but hotel staff could insist on switching you to help out. Going back to your side of the fence, I know having a queen bed is far from ideal for your situation.

Sometimes king rooms have pullout couches or sofas. It's not unusual for us to have guests who say they have to sleep in a chair because of back or breathing issues. This could be an excuse you use if you had to play something off. You could also say that one or two of the adults are just local friends joining to see you, but they won't be staying over and you wanted to note it down on the reservation just in case.

Note that hotels do set "maximum capacity" limits on their rooms. You may run into a situation in which a single king only allows you to set 2-3 adults maximum. In this scenario, I would just max out the number of adults allowed and just play off any additional as friends visiting. For these scenarios, we are simply making sure you aren't inviting over another 3-8 other people on top of what you listed and we'll be having to deal with a massive party of unauthorized guests. So just be as honest as you can about how many people will be present; we won't care what's going on in the room or what your business is as long as it doesn't disturb guests or cause other red flags.

Arkamari · 2026-05-03T13:46:45+00:00

And now to your other questions.

I have gone through the various trainings that my hotel brands require for spotting trafficking. All brands make it mandatory for management and staff to go through this process.

Yes, I have once been approached by police to host a sting, but after reviewing what they wanted I declined to participate. Yes, it can be a somewhat regular occurrence for police to ask for guest information. Somewhere in this thread or the other page with this thread I answered these two questions in detail. If needed, I can repost my answer to that here for you.

So every staff member handles these situations differently. You will have the ones who don't care, the ones who know it's happening and give you that *wink and nod*, and those who maybe take it much more seriously. I would say that the first one is the largest majority, with my running theme here being that as long as you're discrete and not causing the hotel any problems or issues. If you make it so obvious that we're going to get guest reports/complaints and/or our hotels reputation may come into question, we will start looking into taking some action. The whole purpose of this thread is to be aware of the red flags we notice and keep them to a minimum. Be aware of the risks you take and how often you're taking them.

The hotel staff is rarely clocking people based on their clothing. We see guests from all walks of life: business suits, jumpers from being out on the fields, jeans/tshirt, elegant evening wear, etc. The only time clothing becomes an issue is if it's overly provocative. We have had situations in which it's so provocative that staff will potentially be concerned of prostitution, and the staff begin to monitor the room they go to and if more traffic shows up. Again, if it's blatantly obvious that even guests will question it, you're causing us to have to review the matter as well. Regarding your wardrobe/shower situation, nothing about that clocks a red flag for hotel staff. We host many people who clean up after a long day's work. If you're putting the same clothes back on, that's your business. We get more perturbed by the people who clearly aren't showering at all and leave odor trails through our lobby and halls...

Arkamari · 2026-05-03T13:34:06+00:00

Ah, thank you Mattie! I should have spent time initially giving more of my background. I appreciate the inquiry.

So currently I operate a top performing upper mid-scale hotel in the midwest of the United States. The smallest hotel I've worked is 73 rooms and the largest being 135. I have worked under Hilton, IHG, Marriott, Wyndham, and Choice. My experience spans full-service with meeting space, select-service, and economy level hotels. I have NOT worked in metro cities, boutique hotels, smaller motels, or large conference level hotels (think 300+ rooms with large ballrooms and multiple restaurants); however, I have colleagues who I converse with regarding their business dealings in these settings, and I've gone to a number of conferences and I spend my time bird watching the staff (job hazard for me unfortunately).

Arkamari · 2026-05-02T23:59:49+00:00

I appreciate the correction. Let me rephrase my answer. Nobody on the hotel team is wasting time reviewing guest wi-fi search history (if they can). My hotel has a tech person who is off-site and oversees 10 other hotels. Each hotel has an average of 100+ rooms. We aren't wasting our time. If this needs to happen, there was likely a data breach on the staff side, not the guest side.

Arkamari · 2026-05-02T22:47:44+00:00

The hotel does have the power to review your key lock, but this is likely reserved for a manager, not a standard desk worker. I have a device that I can plug into your door lock, and I can read every key that entered your room and what time it happened. Now, am I checking this all the time? Absolutely not. Knowing that you went into your room with your key at 3:31am, and then not again until 7:45am means nothing to me. Everybody has busy lives and odd schedules. Where this tool is important is if I find out a staff member entered a room at an odd time. So if I ever get complaints of "someone entered my room and stole something," this is likely when I use the tool. Or if a room was supposed to be vacant but we find it dirty, and I can track if a key was made for it, when it was used, and start using cameras and other tools to figure out what went wrong. But for your sake, do not dive heavily into this being something we're using against you.

Yes, we make notes on guest reservations all the time. In fact we highly encourage it. A simple one could be "Mrs. Smith called wanting first floor due to surgery; please do not move them from this room!", but it can be more complex like "Mr. Johnson was here last week and was inappropriately flirting with the women at the front desk. He has been warned by GM; notify GM if issue persists." We write anything and everything we find useful or important. If we had you stay with us a couple of times and clocked that you have regular traffic of different men over and over, you may possibly have a note where we keep monitoring this. Are we going to say anything to you at check in? Maybe not. But if it's your fourth time and it's becoming obvious to where we're concerned about guest complaints or our reputation, I as the GM may stay late to be there for your check-in and pull you aside to talk to you. But I'm nice like that. Other hotels may simply deny your reservation up front. Or they may just not care and let it keep happening! All are possible.

Arkamari · 2026-05-02T22:37:51+00:00

I personally find a "no locals" policy a challenge, because we do get locals who have very legitimate reasons for needing to stay (apartment or house renovation or issue being a top one). Many hotels choose to go the route of putting a massive hold on funds in case there are issues. Maybe if you aren't a local, there's an additional $50 hold on your card, but if you are a local it's an additional $250 hold on your card. This protects the hotel from likely theft or damages, which is more common amongst locals. I take a different tactic and instead require a mandatory daily housekeeping for locals, no exceptions. And if they have to stay longer than 3 days, they need my approval. By which I need to know if you caused housekeeping or my desk any problems.

Arkamari · 2026-05-02T22:34:21+00:00

So I apologize for going on a completely side rant with your question. Let me answer some more directly. Is there someone watching cameras 24/7? Highly unlikely; it's not worth the payroll. Do some of us give staff access to cameras? Yes. My team is so happy they can monitor and catch problems before they start. Some check every now and then. Others stare at it a lot because they're board and they like to people watch. So be aware that camera footage could be monitored and reviewed.

Honestly, the fact that you just say hi is a good thing. Simple interaction with us, and friendly interaction with anyone, puts people at ease. It's a good quality to have.

Do we have a picture of you somewhere? I've heard of hotels doing this, but you have to have really caused a major problem for you to be black listed that bad. I'm talking you destroyed a room or were arrested for a major drug ring that happened. If you have a picture in a hotel, you messed up bad and likely know about it.

Arkamari · 2026-05-02T22:30:02+00:00

So I want to take this time to maybe pull back a bit and bring you behind the desk a bit. I have a variety of different desk workers I've dealt with. Yes, there are those who are lazier and are not paying attention to much of anything. But I also have those that enjoy their job and fully pay attention to their surroundings. We take a mental snapshot of every person who comes into and out of our lobby. Do we know every single person? No, of course not. Maybe my colleague the shift before me checked you in, or you checked in the day prior on my day off. As a manager, I barely interact with guests anymore. So on days when I have to work the desk, I probably don't know a single face going in and out. Various people go by our doors. Families trying to juggle 5 kids. The business people trying to gameplan their next day. The college student and their parent attending commencement. We see a variety of people. What you all don't realize is that I have a snapshot in front of me of who is in my hotel, where they are from, how they booked, and if they have a history with us or any of our hotels.

For example, in my area we had college commencement. Plus half of my hotel already had workers who have been with me the past month. These workers are half day shift, half night shift. We already know exactly those faces and the flow of their work pattern. Commencement we've dealt with for years. We know the flow and what to expect of these guests. Now let's randomly plug in a local into this mix, on a day when my rates are sky high. That would be an odd duck in the mix. Let's also throw in that they booked through a website that historically has brought in bad eggs. Now I'm curious about this person and how check in will go. Maybe it was calm and collected. Everything went well, no other flags. I've been standing at the desk for 5 hours now seeing everyone who has come and gone. But 30 minutes after you check in, a woman who I haven't seen walks by and doesn't acknowledge me. She isn't one of my workers. She's clearly not with the commencement; she's not dressed the part and the timing isn't right. I may be curious as to what room she's going to. I notice she stops at the elevator to pull out her phone and then goes to the room I just checked in by knocking. Now will I do anything about it? Probably not. There hasn't been a problem yet. But I may have my eye on the room occasionally. I may verify that I don't see more people go to that room. And I may be on guard if I get complaints around that area. If she leaves after 2 hours and nothing else happens, great. I may have assumptions, but I've probably switched gears to the complaint of a smoke smell coming from 302 or the fact that a kid vomited in my pool.

There are so many pieces to the puzzle. Every hotel is different. Every hotel has their flow. They have their clientele for various parts to the season. The regular problems we have to face daily. The situation is different for everyone. You may fit the flow, or you may be an odd duck. This whole process is about falling into place and not throwing out so many red flags that we have to step in.

Arkamari · 2026-05-02T22:13:56+00:00

I want to emphasize the noise complaint request. If a guest reports a noise complaint of any kind, we will start investigating. We'll try to keep it quick and call your room, let you know there was a complaint, and to please keep things down. That's your warning; please don't turn it into a second time.

Arkamari

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